#the force ghosts

[forcearama]

Noise Complaint

Luke: [nervously] Leia, look, this is...really awkward for me, but can you guys please keep it down at night? I can...hear sounds. Leia: Sounds? Luke: Y'know...like...[lowers his voice]...sounds. [widens his eyes] Leia: Oh. Oh! [confused] But...Han's off-planet right now? I haven't even seen him in 3 weeks! Luke: [also confused] Huh. OK. Weird. You're not...seeing anyone else, are you? Leia: [scoffs] Gods forbid! Like I need more on my plate than I have already. Luke: But we're the only ones here! And this has been going on constantly since, well, Endor. Leia: [shrugs] I don't know what to tell you. Maybe it's one of the neighbors.

*** Luke: [sitting up, half asleep] Oh for kriff's...[pounds on the wall] Whoever that is, quiet down! I have a religious order to resurrect and I need my sleep! Leia: [walking in wearing a face mask] Luke what in the hell are you screaming about now?! Luke: [gestures towards the wall] You don't hear that?? Leia: [squinting] I...maybe? It's not very loud, whatever it is. Luke: It's not?! It's been keeping me awake for weeks! [thoughtfully] Hmm. I wonder if this is like, a Force thing. You know, because I've had more training than you? Like maybe it's louder to me? Leia: [stifling a laugh] Wait, you think the Force is making you hear what sounds like people having sex? Luke: Hey I'm still kind of new to all this; I don't know how it all works! [closes his eyes] BEN! Obi-Wan's Ghost: [extremely disheveled] L-Luke! Leia! Uh. [clears his throat] I...didn't realize I could be summoned like that. [brightening] S-so, um, what...what did you need, Luke? Leia: Obi-Wan! [throws her arms around him] [backs away] What...are you wearing? Luke: [narrows his eyes] Obi-Wan: It's, um. Well. It's a...towel, of course. Leia: Ghosts have to take showers? Obi-Wan: Well, we don't...don't have to. [clears his throat again] It's just a, uh, thing we might choose to do. From time to time. Anyways if that's all you needed to ask me I should probably go -- Luke: [with dawning horror] Wait, all that noise has been going on since Endor...right after Dad died...oh, Ben. Leia: Wait, are you saying...? [utterly disappointed] Oh, Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan: Wh-what? Luke: Dad?! Leia: Have you no shame? Or taste?! I thought we'd really made some breakthroughs on your self-esteem! Obi-Wan: You don't know him like I do! Leia: [scoffs, grossed out] Clearly! And I guess I'm the only one who remembers that time he set you on fire. And then that time he killed you. Luke: [deeply upset, to Leia] Wait, he set Ben on fire?! Where was I?! Obi-Wan: Well if you look at it from his perspective, I technically set him on fire first. I mean, granted I was just trying to stop his killing spree, but. [Luke and Leia stare judgmentally] What?

[forcearama]

Advance Warning

Luke: Hi! I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm Anakin's son. You must be Ahsoka Tano. Ahsoka: Wh-what?! He's...but no, he never had a son... [annoyed and resigned] Actually, nevermind: that does sound totally plausible. Luke: Anyways I just wanted to let you know he said he's gonna be swinging by to see you soon. Ahsoka: [blinks] Vader? ...but how could he...I thought they said he...when the Death Star -- Luke: [waving a hand dismissively] -- Nah, he's fine! Ahsoka: He's fine?! Luke: Yeah he's totally fine! I mean he's dead, but he's fine. Also he doesn't go by "Vader" anymore. [lowering his voice] I get the inclination to call him that, but also he's super touchy about it. Just FYI. Ahsoka: So you're telling me Anakin Skywalker is...dead...but he's also OK...and also he's coming to visit me. And he no longer considers himself a Sith lord. And you're also his son. Luke: [nodding like this is boring chit chat] Yep, that's the long and short of it. Anyways I just thought I'd swing by and give you a heads-up so you didn't freak out when he shows up or whatever. Ahsoka: I...have you seen him? Since he...died? Luke: [eating a sandwich he pulled out of a paper bag, talking with his mouth full] Hmm? Oh, yeah, a bunch of times. Oh and also Ben is there too. Ahsoka: ...Ben? I don't... Luke: [shaking his head] Oh, right, Ben. Duh. You'd only know him as Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi? He's dead too. [drinks from a juice box] They like, hang out together in the Force and stuff I guess. Ahsoka: [making an unimpressed face] Master Kenobi and Master Skywalker are hanging out in the Force together. Luke: Yup. [bites into an Oreo] Actually Obi-Wan might show up when my dad swings by, I dunno. They're together a lot. Ahsoka: [under her breath, deeply annoyed] I bet they are. So they've been dead how many years then? Luke: Like 7 or 8 for my dad. Obi-Wan a little longer. Ahsoka: I see. And they're just NOW maybe going to be stopping by?! As ghosts? When they could have come to see me for YEARS apparently? You expect me to believe any of this crazy story?! Luke: ...well they might have stopped by sooner but my dad said they were both pretty tired. Especially him. And they had a lot of TV to catch up on. Oh! Also he wanted me to ask you if you were still mad about the last time you saw him. Because he doesn't want to get yelled at. If it helps, he told me to tell you he feels like this: [holds up his cell phone that is displaying the 🥺 and 🙏 emojis] Ahsoka: [burying her head in her hands] Oh gods, it is them. You are telling the truth.

[forcearama]

i had never realized that those were obiwans clothes in return and. wow i know i should have a more mischievous reaction but. it just makes me so sad. the action feels so sweet and reminiscent gosh these two make me so soft

It IS sweet! I mean yes it's also very funny because as I've said before, does this indicate that Anakin showed up in the Force naked and dead and Obi-Wan was just like "SIGH, come here you nude idiot, you're dead now and I have some clothes for you because you can't be indecent around your son and also I know how cold you get"? But even THAT is so sweet and cute I'm maybe going to die. I love them. Too much.

[forcearama]

Maximum Occupancy

Din Djarin: [rifling through a mountain of notes] OK, so...we’re going to some kind of...Force...place...[squints at a map] ...but do I need to do anything else first? [going back to his notes] What about this Darksaber thing? Do we have any follow-up there, or...? Grogu: [shrugs at him] Din: [paging through a notebook] Also I figure at some point I should probably find out more about the fact that that Bo-Katan lady said I was raised by a cult. Ahsoka: [popping her head into the ship] Hey real quick before you leave, you guys haven’t seen this Thrawn guy have you? Blue, about yea high, giant forehead, red eyes? Pipe organ music always playing in the background when he’s around? Din: ...no? Wait, wh -- Bo-Katan: [appearing via hologram as Ahsoka leaves] You don’t happen to have come across Gideon again yet, have you? Din: N-no, and I hope that we -- Bo-Katan: Ugh, OK, I guess I better get moving then. Mandalore’s not gonna rule itself, you know. [pauses] Well actually all things considered that might not be that bad. We...don’t have a great track record. Anyways, gotta go! Din: [stammering as she hangs up] Boba Fett: [via hologram] Hey are you the guy who has my armor? I think you bought it off that Cobb guy? Din: Your -- how did you -- I -- well for one thing I didn’t buy it, he made me help him fight a mythical creature -- Boba: Yeah yeah, whatever, I didn’t ask for your life story. Now where’s my armor? Din: It’s in storage, I can’t get to it right this minute, plus I have to drop my kid off on like, a mystical mountaintop or something? [goes back to his notes] Boba: [narrowing his eyes] ...OK, but I want it back. And don’t go just giving it out to anyone, even if they literally have my exact same face. There’s a bunch of those guys still out there. [hangs up] Din: [at a loss for words] [stares helplessly at Grogu] Grogu: [stares back, eats a whole frog] Rex: [via hologram] Hey did a guy who looks like me just call you? Din: Who are you?! Moff Gideon: [coming in via yet another hologram] Friendly reminder, Din Djarin: I will find you and I will do some weird stuff to your kid’s blood! For my secret army! Or for the undead spirit of the Emperor! Or wherever we’re going with this! [clenches his fist dramatically] Din: H-hold on, wait, everyone, I’m getting another -- Greef: [via hologram] Hey Mando! You guys gonna stop by for a visit soon? Din: Really not free to chit-chat right now -- Obi-Wan’s Ghost: [appearing behind Din, kneeling down to shake Grogu’s hand] My goodness! Look at this little one! Anakin’s Ghost: Oh my gosh it’s a pocket-sized Master Yoda! Din: [whirling around] AHHH whatthehellisthat! [shoots at Anakin] Anakin: Whoa, whoa, calm down, buddy, we just wanted to see the baby. Din: Y-you...you’re...but I shot you...how are you still...? Anakin: [taking a bite out of a space pear he has in his hand] Uh, duh, I’m a ghost. [seeing the holograms] Oh hey, Rex! Rex: [in shock but still saluting] General Skywalker. General Kenobi. I...was really not expecting to see either of you. Obi-Wan: [warmly] Hello Captain. You look well. Ahsoka: [busting back into the ship] YOU! Anakin: [nervously laughing] Uh oh... Ahsoka: [getting right in his face] Well well well. Look whose ghost can appear when he wants to. Anakin: I...it’s not that we’ve been avoiding you, Snips, it’s just -- Ahsoka: DON’T YOU “SNIPS” ME! You tried to kill me the last time I saw you, back when you were Darth Vader! Right before Ezra pulled me through that loophole in time and space! Din: [protectively clutching Grogu] Excuse me, when he was what?! Obi-Wan: Ahsoka in fairness, Anakin did that to a lot of people.

[forcearama]

Say It

[Anakin and Obi-Wan’s ghosts, sitting on a sofa] Anakin: [sighing] So. [pause] This is the afterlife, huh? Peaceful. Obi-Wan: [reading Gentleman’s Hair Quarterly, not looking up] Mmhmm. Anakin: [stretching out a bit] ...that was really something, wasn’t it? With me killing the Emperor and all? Obi-Wan: [still reading, not fully engaged in the conversation] Oh yes, very much so. Very proud of...of you and Luke. What you both did was remarkable. [eats a potato chip] [long pause] Anakin: [opens his mouth and then closes it] Obi-Wan: [turns a page in his magazine] Anakin: It’s just. Uh. Well I was just... [huffs a small breath out] Obi-Wan: [still reading] ...mmhmm? Anakin: I mean...you said you’re proud of me and Luke. Obi-Wan: Mmhmm. Indeed I am. Very much so. Anakin: Yeah. Cool. Cool. [attempts to casually lean back into his seat and watch TV] [immediately starts fidgeting] Obi-Wan: [still reading] Something wrong, Anakin? You know if you’re cold all you have to do is call on the Force to materialize some blankets for you. Anakin: Oh no, no no. I’m fine. Noooo worries. [puts his feet up] [pause as they read and watch TV] Anakin: OK but like...who are you more proud of? If you had to pick. Obi-Wan: [staring straight ahead for a brief moment, looking tired] [towards Anakin, removing his reading glasses] Excuse me? Anakin: It’s just that I think, you know -- I mean, Luke’s great and all! Heh, obviously! He’s gonna be a hell of a Jedi. You know. When he’s got a little bit more experience under his belt. [Obi-Wan makes a face] But also...[chuckles a little]...I mean...you know. Obi-Wan: ...I know what? Anakin: Well he was super important and whatever? But he didn’t -- you know, look: he was about to die Obi-Wan. OK? DIE. And that would have been that. Poof -- no more Luke. No more Rebellion. Last hope of the universe extinguished forever. But I, y’know, I s-saved him. And I’m the one who killed the Emperor. Like I said. Obi-Wan: ...yes? Anakin: So? Obi-Wan: So what? Anakin: Who are you MORE proud of: me? Or...you know, someone else? Obi-Wan: [sighs] Anakin, honestly. You’re one with the Force now -- is this really something you’re concerning yourself with? Anakin: [grabbing the front of Obi-Wan’s tunic] JUST TELL ME YOU’RE THE MOST PROUD OF ME OBI-WAN! Obi-Wan: [pushing him off of him] Anakin for goodness’ sake get a HOLD of yourself! Anakin: [catching his breath] I...[puts up his hands] You’re right, Obi-Wan. You’re right. I’m sorry. That was...immature of me. Obi-Wan: [annoyed] It certainly was! [returns to his magazine] [Anakin makes a wounded puppy face, stares intently at Obi-Wan while he reads] Obi-Wan: I am not rewarding this behavior. It’s beneath you, Anakin. Anakin: [whispers] Just say it. Obi-Wan: No. [pointedly turns a page] Anakin: [leans closer to Obi-Wan] Obi-Wan: [closes his eyes and makes a face while sighing] ...if I tell you this, will you please let me read in peace and promise not to bring this up anymore? Anakin: [instantly] Yes to the first thing, no to the second. Obi-Wan: Deal. Yes, Anakin, I am the most proud of you and you alone, I could not possibly be prouder of another being than I am of you, ever. Anakin: And? Obi-Wan: And I am glad that you, and you alone, saved Luke. And the galaxy. Anakin: ...and? Obi-Wan: [sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose] And your ghost looks very beautiful. Anakin: [grabs Obi-Wan in a bone-crushing hug] Thank you; I know!

[forcearama]

Ahsoka: [gets name-dropped in The Mandalorian]  Anakin’s Ghost, Still Devotedly Watching All This Shit Because My Boy Loves Drama and He Is HERE For It: [gasps and clutches his chest and screams like a small child while dancing around and holding Obi-Wan’s ghostly hand]

[forcearama]

Just imagine how much Obi-Wan and Anakin’s ghosts must have been dying a second time, this time of pride, when their girl did that Dramatic Disrobe

[forcearama]

Customer Service

Anakin’s Force Ghost: [walking up to a service window with a stack of papers] Hello? [rings a bell]  Employee: [cheerfully] Good endless unknowable infinity, sir! How may I help you? Anakin: Yeah, so, I wanna apply for a do-over.  Employee: ...a do-over, sir? Anakin: Yeah. [gestures behind him] Did you see what was going on back there the last four, five years?  Employee: [warily] Yes. Uh, well, sir, the application for a do-over is very --  Anakin: [heaving the papers onto the counter] Lengthy, yeah, I know. I want to submit this. Now.  Employee: [reading his name off the papers] Ah. Mr. Skywalker. I was told to expect to see you show up here at some point. You see, do-overs are usually only granted in extenuating circumstances, like the writers contradicting themselves in an effort to back themselves out of a corner, or concoct a plot twist, for example. You of all people must know that. Didn’t you used to be two different guys?  Anakin: [scoffing] That was forever ago! And we made that work, OK? But all this? [points behind him again] Someone’s gotta do something about it!  [peering over the employee’s shoulder] Come on, I’ve gotta have some pull with somebody back there; I’m the Chosen One!  Employee: [quirking an eyebrow, under her breath] We still sure about that? Anakin: [incensed] Excuse me?! Employee: [forcing a smile, clacking away on her keyboard] Nothing! I’ll just see what steps we would need to take to get your application reviewed. Once I get it all filed you should hear from the Force, Word of God, and/or our corporate overlords at some point between now and the time the series becomes unprofitable. If you’ll just provide an email address, I’ll send you a confirmation with a Change of Canon Request tracking number.    Anakin: Ohhh no. I came all the way over here, I filled out all these boring papers when I could have been watching TV, I put on pants -- I’m not leaving until someone addresses this with me. [hands her a scrap of paper with George Lucas’ phone number on it] Is this still good for anything? This guy and I go way back!  Employee: [stifling her annoyance] Mr. Skywalker, we have to follow proper procedure. These things take time.  Anakin: [brow furrowed] So you’re saying that there’s literally nothing you can do for me right now? Anakin Skywalker has no clout in this department?! Employee: [sighs] One moment. [goes in a back room for several minutes, returns] OK, management has agreed to give you several additional hours of Obi-Wan looking handsome. Eventually. Probably. And I’ve been authorized to give you this autographed headshot of Internet Sensation Baby Yoda!  Anakin: [warily taking it, narrowing his eyes suspiciously] ...very well. But I will be back. This isn’t over. I’m not gonna forget about all that...stuff that I’m mad about, just because you throw a bunch of [looking slightly dazed]...very cute babies and, and Obi-Wan at me. [begins to leave, then turns around to pointedly steal a pen and a peppermint from the counter before walking away]