Apr 19
beautiful women keep emailing me from a “no-reply” address
#the forms#im bein. driven slowly insane#like literally im going insane#I am filling out way too many forms#like literally not kidding every aspect of life i am filling out a form for#HR form job application form agent rep form lease form fucking bills accounts blah blah blah fucking he’ll#being an adult genuinely is so like well it’s better than being a kid?? i guess?????????#it’s relentless lol#also the fact that im filling out query forms for bb novel when it means like literally the world to me#to fill out a form#to try and sell it#i actually almost can’t bear it lol like these people don’t know what it is and I don’t want to explain its marketability!!!#I don’t want to find comps!! there are no comps!!! this is the only thing in the world like it!!!!!#like I know all writers feel like this and idk how they can stomach this lol#like I don’t want to do that#but also I have to haha#anyway everything is kinda awful but im getting ramen so hopefully that helps cheer me up but my god lol#jesus christ lol#also im moving back east in like 2 weeks so the anxiety is creeping back even tho this time will be easier since im going home#so im excited to go instead of just scared this time#but like omg#rereading bb novel and remembering how much I love it and how proud I am and how I KNOW it will be ok but I just have to like sell it#it sucks haha it’s so cringe#also knowing the quality of published work now and the absolute state of this industry#to think I have to sell what I know is better than half the shit out there#god lol it’s frustrating#I mean I have barely started querying and already im like fuck that haha#anyway sorry I actually am fine and feeling happy in general#just got into. a weird mood with the book#haha ok back to looking at images
