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Conversation with an ENFP

INFP: Okay, let’s narrow down our options and get a concrete plan for the weekend.

ENFP: Yes, sounds good.

INFP: Great.

ENFP: But let’s also make sure we can change the plans if we want to and keep our options open.

#enfp #never want to limit their options #infp x enfp #the infp

Connection

We moved when I was 13.

I was devastated.

The connection I felt with the woods, the fields, the creek that wound through the 40 acres where I had spent the last 10 years of my life ran deep. Our beautiful barn had burned, leaving gigantic mounds of blackened, smoldering hay and twisted pieces of scorched metal. Not only had the fire destroyed the building - the firemen had used a backhoe to tear it apart as it raged, trying to save some of it, trying to stop the flames. We needed a new farm for our cows and within a half a year had moved 250 miles north. It took me years to truly accept the move and let my brokenness flow away. I slowly formed a new connection with the space we lived in. When I moved out a half a decade after, I believed that this place would always feel like home to me. I was marrying my brown-eyed sweetheart and thought that I could call two places home. Two years passed and one day, while visiting my family, I realized I no longer felt completely at ease in that space. My introversion surfaced as a simmering exhaustion and I knew that I needed to go back to my own home to feel rejuvenated again. Throughout my life, tasting new experiences and visiting beloved people were sources of joy but I always needed it to end at some point. I craved my own bed and the land and the trees where I lived.

I’m living in an apartment now. It’s spacious – the upstairs of a long house shaped like a barn. It’s surrounded by trees and then fields and there’s a little creek that flows through the land. I feel more balanced and peaceful here than anywhere else but I can’t commit my heart fully - I can’t feel utterly at ease.

This space is transient.

I’ll be gone from this house in a year, two years, never to return. I was never meant to stay and my heart knows it. I want my own garden, my own chickens and sheep, my own home interior to decorate and paint and change. I’m perpetually yearning for my own house, where my feet can sink into the earth. Where I will close my eyes and finally feel my soul rest.

#other INFPs: do you feel the same sort of deep bond with the physical place you live in?#the infp #words #infp