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Like many of you, I’ve been making my way through The X-Files over the last several months in anticipation of the new six-episode revival later this month. And this week I came upon an episode in season 7 written by acclaimed author William Gibson, “First Person Shooter,” about a VR video game. It might be the best episode of the whole series.
RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS.
OOOHHH GGGOOODDDD SSSSOOOOOO SSSOOOOOOONNNNN!!!!
SO SOON!
You may have heard that The X-Files is coming back in January. If you were a fan when the show was originally on in the ‘90s—or caught it later in syndication or streaming—this is potentially great news. If you missed the whole phenomenon, we’re here for you.
SO SOON IT WILL BE BACK!
IT’S ALMOST HERE!
If you’ve ever wanted to hear a much happier version of the X-Files theme, here’s it in a major key rather than a minor key.
Get your X-Files new, get ya fresh X-Files news here!
Episode 65: Apocarypha
Title: Apocrypha
Production Code: 3x16
Director: Kim Manners
Written By: Frank Spotnitz & Chris Carter
Original Air Date: 2/16/96
Drink: A few more Smith & Forge Hard Ciders
PLOT:
Scully learns new details about her sister’s murder as Mulder pursues the shapeless alien entity inside Krycek’s body.
COMMENTARY:
02:11 - Man, that Black Oil does not play around. You get knocked out with a wrench and it says “F this noise” and goes and slimes off down a drain. Rude.
03:52 - This episode is also a very special episode of The X-Files Babies. Apparently CSM’s voice hasn’t changed since he started smoking.
06:14 - I’m glad that Lariat Rent-A-Car is still in business. Lariat Rent-A-Car, because I know it’s the only choice for me when renting a vehicle.
09:10 - Krycek can take a punch like a boss, which makes sense considering how often he gets beat up.
09:39 - Oh Agent Pendrell, you need to shit or get off the pot with Scully before someone shoots you and you never get to tell her your feelings.
11:20 - That doctor obviously didn’t know who he was working for, but really when you’re meeting with shady government folks like this, getting your hands dirty should be expected, if not required.
13:19 - The Syndicate!
16:59 - Yes folks, your tax dollars hard at work, shipping dive suits across the country...
19:12 - Is there a more awkward trio of skaters that you could find here?
20:15 - Now I realize that a digital tape doesn’t weigh a lot, but didn’t the envelope feel a little light?
22:08 - They’re talking about Area 51 here people!
26:56 - It’s sure a good thing that he was able to make if from Washington to a random part of a park in NYC in under 3 hours. There must have been a plane leaving right as he got to the airport or something equally as unbelievable.
31:25 - Maybe a less flowy coat would be more conducive for running Scully.
31:47 - I haven’t seen Scully this pissed since ‘Beyond the Sea’.
34:15 - It’s that easy to get into a silo? Maybe all those doomsday preppers have the wrong idea.
35:19 - No wonder Big Concrete is almost out of business! If they had actually been paid to fill in all these bunkers they would have been millionaires!
38:39 - Does the Black Oil always vacate a host so violently?
43:30 - Man, that’s a pretty grim ending, even for The X-Files.
FACTS:
Kevin McNulty appears once again to play Agent Fuller, reprising his role from ‘Squeeze’, which would have been fine if he hadn’t played an entirely separate character in ‘Soft Light’ in between! Is Canada really that short on actors?
If Byers is the only one of The Lone Gunmen who looks natural on skates it’s because he trained to be a professional figure skater before taking up acting. FACT!
The mask Nicholas Lea had to wear at the end of the episode to have all the oil pour out took an hour to put on and was apparently a terrible experience. Worse than actually jettisoning that much oil out of your face though? Unlikely.
ON A PERSONAL NOTE:
I will admit it, this is the first episode that I’ve fallen asleep during, although not because it’s not good, because it’s great, but instead because I was tired and had just drunk a bunch of hard ciders. This could be why I didn’t think there was a title card at all, but it could also be that Netflix just doesn’t include it on this episode for some reason, you can check it out if you want. In short this one is badass, and the last few scenes of Krycek vomiting up all the Black Oil and stuck in the silo are some of the most badass in the entire series. I guess the Black Oil is just going to chill out in the UFO stuck in that silo forever though? Probably better than being stuck in a guy in a plane at the bottom of the sea. One thing I have to wonder though, with me noticing all the “1013” that shows up in this world, how do Mulder and Scully not? I think there must be a lost episode on numerology somewhere where they investigate this, and if not I claim the idea for my fanfic.
NEXT WEEK ON THE INTOXFILES:
A sadistic killer, who possesses the ability to control people with the power of his voice, enlists Mulder in a deadly test of wills.
