why have we as a fandom never written (as far as i'm aware) statement fics that are obviously fake statements.
i mean it's basically a crack fic with no bounds other than 'someone really high would probably be freaked tf out'
jon's post statement commentary and follow up is a must. depending on which season you set it in it could have wildly different results from 'get a load of this insane pile of horseshit' to sampling it like a conesseur 'hmm im seeing a hint of the Slaughters influence here, interesting the connections between that and the Spiral' bullshit
decided that i wasn't gonna die with my ideas, so here's at least some of 'em ( note, they're subject to change )
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!!! VERY DARK !!!
warnings - severe abuse, death, attempted s__cide, and self-harm
not particularly in perfect order of events.
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Adora
. . .
ever since she was an infant, Adora was a lab rat for a variety of malpractices and extreme experiments. as a result, she has high pain tolerance, is immune to most drugs, and an instinct of danger.
killed Flutterina's mom at age 14 ( based off what might've been a fanmade series of the original She-Ra show ), as the Horde would use their 'disobedient' slaves as 'actual lessons' once a cadet was deemed strong enough. as Flutterina's mother was kind, even in her last words, but was considered an 'easy fight', thus Adora having to kill someone else, Adora attempted suicide the same night. and it wouldn't be the last time this happened.
due to Shadow Weaver's magic, Adora doesn't remember most of the experiments or that she killed anybody at all. this is because mental breaks would be very common, to the point it grew to be expected, and they wouldn't go away if she could remember. in present day ( post-defection ), Adora has conflicting feelings on being mind wiped.
because of her high pain tolerance, she's unfazed by Catra clawing her. if she is hurt, it's on an emotional level, but that eventually doesn't matter, either.
once defected, Adora has intense anxiety, evidence of her sheltered living ( misunderstandings of family dynamics, social cues, always tense with authority figures, culture shocks, etc. ), and nightmares, the former and latter from the fear she'll be hunted down for her betrayal.
can't quite understand how she feels about those she called family, especially Hordak. ( "they've taught me so much, and they weren't... terrible to me. not always. but i don't know anything anymore. maybe i never knew anything to begin with." ) it's these conflicting feelings that trap her in the cycle of trying to save Catra from the Horde, blaming herself for the other's actions, and apologizing frequently, in and out of her relationship with Catra.
after earning Angella's trust, Angella tries to earn Adora's ( it doesn't look that way, though ), wanting to be the mother figure the poor thing clearly never had.
Swift Wind is always, always, looking out for Adora and is very protective of her. he can and will stab a bitch ( and has, guess who it is ) for her.
the disc fucks her up. like, a lot. too many things resurface, and when she's completely aware and conscious, Adora immediately falls into a severe panic attack.
but if she thought the disc was bad, she ain't seen nothing yet ( the Portal, Angella's sacrifice ). i love her, i swear-
when she goes to rescue Flutterina with Peekablue, she's hit with the forgotten memory and almost immediately feels sick. it's disorienting the entire way, but she has to push through. Flutterina has never seen her before.
Adora pledges allegiance to all of Etheria post-defection, but she personally pledges herself to Flutterina after telling her the truth. Flutterina has... a reaction ( leaving it vague on purpose ).
i think Horde Prime's arrival is around the time she confesses, amongst several other things thrown at her, so Adora is suffering a huge mental decline and gets abducted. she doesn't make attempts to escape.
Horde Prime convinces her that she can redeem herself from all the pain she's caused, of the evil she's done, and she becomes part of his fleet ( i'm hesitant to call it a cult ).
this is the BIGGEST if, but maybe Hordak making a temporary alliance with Glimmer and Bow to rescue Adora?
Chipped Adora might be a thing...
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Glimmer
. . .
terrified of change and huge commitments, has been avoiding her aunt's teachings after a particularly bad accident ( resulted in Glimmer's scar on her right eye ). but is considered a prodigy with how effective she is at using her current skillset.
was a child when Micah died, part of her fears stems from that, but she hides it from Angella out of another fear of disappointing or overshadowing her mom's struggles.
hides almost everything from her mom as a result of everything above, and even sometimes struggles telling the truth to her best friend, Bow.
is viewed as the most unserious of the Princesses, as she not only uses humor and excitement to cope with serious situations, thus coming off as if everything's a game, but is impulsive, reckless, and a bit hardheaded. for a time, Bow is the only one who understands this and doesn't get upset with her.
because of her fear of change, she becomes jealous of Adora the closer she gets to Bow ( this foreshadows the whole "i don't want to be left behind" thing ), and is part of why she's hostile when they first meet. though, to be fair, she's justified in being hostile with a Horde soldier, anyway.
though she doesn't entirely trust Adora yet, Bow does, and that prompts her to at least try ( even though her jealousy streak is still kinda ongoing ), with varying degrees of success. however, there's one incident where she really hurts Adora's feelings ( this would happen in whatever would replace the Princess Prom episode, as Glimmer is still kinda using Adora as a prop ), and Bow gets pissed because Glimmer's been acting super weird and is blaming it on everybody else. then the kidnapping ensues.
when everyone gets back to Brightmoon, she has her first completely honest conversation with her mom, even though it's hard, and, while Angella is disappointed, she understands where her daughter is coming from and tells her they'll get through this together.
with Angella's help, she apologizes to Bow and Adora. they make up ( Bow does take a minute to warm up, though ). and she writers a letter to Castaspella:
Dear Aunt Castaspella,
I know it's been a few years since I last visited Mystacor, and I'm sorry. How is Double Trouble? Are they doing alright? I miss them.
I don't really have an excuse as to why I didn't come back. I know you're disappointed in me, especially since you had such faith that I'd be a great sorceress. But I was scared. Even before I burned my eye, I was terrified. I didn't want to mess up. I didn't want to let you down. But I ended up doing that, anyway. I'm really sorry.
If you'll have me, I'd love to come visit again. Or, maybe, you could visit Brightmoon? I know you're always worried about the barrier, but Juliet could watch it for just a few hours, right?
Miss you and love you.
Your niece,
Glimmer
it's not quite as easy to bounce back, though, as Glimmer takes all of her mistakes to heart and can't let them go. Castaspella isn't keen on leaving the barrier under someone else's supervision, so Glimmer ends up visiting, partially hoping to heal and improve her magic ( Shadow Weaver still messed it up badly in this vers ). Double Trouble wants to catch up and bond, but Glimmer's too in her own head and ends up dismissing them.
the lessons end up being a bust and, well, Castaspella doesn't take it too well and Glimmer's traumatic memories kick in. it's revealed that, as a result of being pressured and pushed beyond her limits, Glimmer's magic went haywire and that's how she burned her eye. while this is going on, DT helps Adora and Bow get past the guards, and the three of them defend Glimmer.
"i-i'm trying, i'm trying so hard, but it hurts, and you- you just don't care! i thought the only reason i left was because i-i was afraid of letting you down, but... but now, i see that i left because i was afraid of you!"
though Castaspella isn't the best, she still heals Glimmer, but coldly sends her off, breaking her niece's heart. DT tries to say that it wasn't fair, but is ignored. they deeply apologize to their cousin, and the two share a hug. DT says that if she needs anything, to let them know and they'll be there.
Angella has the mind to start a fight, but supports and comforts her daughter instead.
huge time skip, probably, but when Angella passes, Glimmer is completely devastated, unprepared, and her magic is unstable. she's stressed, tired, and has never felt more alone in her life. Castaspella comes to the ceremony, but only DT talks to her. they, including Adora and Bow, spend time talking, laughing, and crying together.
for one reason or another, Shadow Weaver is in Brightmoon and takes advantage of Glimmer's grief and unstable magic. for a while, Glimmer is guarded, the attempted manipulations unsuccessful, but she's worn down overtime. she needs a mother figure right now. the only one she could have, Castaspella, still won't talk to her. eventually, Shadow Weaver is allowed to walk freely.
a manipulative, power hungry woman + three traumatized young adults, with one of them being the one said power hungry woman raised, Glimmer, Adora, and Bow are divided. they're all exhausted, hurt, angry, and are trying to push through to become the leaders they need to be for Etheria, but it feels like everything is falling apart. Bow is the first one to walk away.
Heart of Etheria doesn't exist here ( i cannot make any goddamn sense of it ), so it's mainly Shadow Weaver that is tearing them apart, isolating the three of them in different ways. Glimmer's magic eventually becomes dark, relying on her pain.
Adora ends up leaving, too, but not because of being blamed for Angella's sacrifice ( she believed that long before Glimmer said it ). rather, because Glimmer's dark magic had physically harmed her, reminding her of Shadow Weaver. an accident, but a terrifying one.
now all alone, with Adora eventually abducted, Bow nowhere to be found, Glimmer spirals and Shadow Weaver takes the opportunity. though she's stronger, Glimmer is corrupted.
though it'd be a victory, dismantling a section of the Horde with her magic and her army, it'd be presented as isolating, violent, and depressing. it's not a victory for her, because her best friends are gone, her parents are gone, she has no one.
except a certain cousin and aunt.
DT convinces Castaspella to get her head out of her a- i mean, to be give Glimmer the support she desperately needs, and, while Glimmer is in the midst of nearly destroying everything around her, Castaspella apologizes.
things aren't immediately mended. though Glimmer is grateful, she can't trust her aunt again. further cousin bonding, Glimmer thanking DT for their help.
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Bow
. . .
ran away from home after a particularly distressing argument with his dads, relating to failing his studies after complete and utter burnout, being found sneaking out of the house, and engaging in interests that didn't align with their expectations and beliefs, archery and technology.
originally became nihilistic post-runaway in the midst of his wandering travels, and almost succeeded in taking his own life, but he was found by Madame Razz.
co-lived in the Whispering Woods with Madame Razz and the fauna, grew up giving half-truths about his family. it eventually becomes routine. and he tried to be more optimistic.
by the time he's found by Glimmer, he's more or less the Bow we know, but is really confused as to why a Princess is there. because why would a Princess be there? their friendship is sorta on a rocky start, as Glimmer keeps trying to do everything herself and is kinda mean to Bow, but he's insistent on helping.
they talked about their family life and they find a connection in not matching the expectations pushed upon them. and that's what started it all! we love trauma-bonding.
even though he's good at handling conflict ( for the most part ), Bow has intense anxiety about it every time and is almost always on the verge of making himself sick. we would see a scene of him actually vomiting after his argument with Glimmer.
not sure if he'd meet Entrapta early, but if he did, he'd admittedly love her genius, and Entrapta would be soft 'cause why is this strangely adorable child so enamored with her work?
during his imprisonment, Bow has a panic attack because 1. he just fought with his best friend and keeps questioning if he did the right thing, and 2. he has claustrophobia and completely forgot until now. then Kyle comes in.
after the panic attack, Bow would ask how Kyle even knew how to do that, with the boy explaining that it was really common in their sleeping quarters and he eventually learned how to help. then, asking why Kyle would even help him, considering they weren't on the same side, Kyle says "you reminded me of someone." he doesn't elaborate on who, and Bow doesn't ask ( it's Ado- ).
the two talk, relating to and laughing with each other. it's the first both of them have felt relaxed in a while, even though they're both in a less-than-relaxing situation. Bow is a little hesitant, but offers Kyle a space in the Rebellion. "i think Adora would like someone from her old home. might calm her down a bit." Kyle is surprised, but, after a moment, accepts.
when Bow is rescued, he panics, because he realizes that he left Kyle behind and feels really terrible about it. it's the first time he's broken a promise since running away, and the thought brings him a lot of stress.
Angella being his mom 'cause she's gonna be the mom to all of Glimmer's traumatized friends.
i think he should have a solo episode every now and then, so one of them would be him going back to the Horde for Kyle. and Rogelio, because he wasn't going to separate them. it's through them that he discovers someone named Lohni is missing ( this would ensue the Lohni rescue mission ).
there'd be implications or subtle details in the background, or foreground, i think, of when Bow would relate a little too much to a situation ( like Glimmer's relationship with Castaspella ). he's not too obvious about it in front of others, but when it's just him, that's when we'd be able to see everything. the way he has to take deep breaths to calm himself, trying to hype himself up or lower expectations, etc. i want there to be a disconnect from how much we know about him in comparison to the cast. so far, the one who knows the most about his mental state is Kyle, but they're still in the stage of being friends, so he doesn't know a whole lot ( also, my personal favorite tidbit to think about, Bow actually does reveal a little bit of his anxieties, unknowingly, in battle ).
oh, the dads. ohhhh, the dads. while Bow doesn't have 12(?) brothers, he does still have a few, with him being the youngest. and, when he comes back 'home', his dads still compare him to them! fun! /s ( not sure if this would be a solo episode or not, i think both have interesting routes ). and they'd also pretend nothing happened, his brothers would either brag or ask invasive questions, and Bow would largely be dismissed or ignored.
either way, he'd eventually come clean on why he didn't talk much about his family, and Glimmer and Adora would understand.
not sure if i'll actually do this, but like... Portal Bow... literally cracking under the pressure. his body is. cracking.
after Angella's death, Glimmer's reign, this would be near Bow's breaking point. he continues trying to deescalate conflict, keep his friends together, but when he gets kidnapped ( still with Sea Hawk, cuz. ) and, well, neither of his best friends notice, Bow's old pessimism returns and he doesn't return to them with his usual warmth in personality. it's there, but not as vibrant.
soon after Glimmer is in training with Shadow Weaver, Bow gets ridiculed, shamed, and threatened by the same woman, but that almost makes no difference to anyone besides them. not because they don't care, but because they don't know and haven't asked Bow if he's really okay. or, in one person's case, can't find the time. Bow's mental state is bordering on critical, and his fight with Glimmer, her argument about trust, it leads him to explode.
after, Bow disappears. and Shadow Weaver may be the reason.
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Angella's death being the final nail in the coffin for our three protagonists wasn't intentional, at all, but it works so well.
when will we get the jjpope's failed attempt at having a study session in the form of a montage? when will we get this because think of all the possibilities
