I am really sorry. I just canât do this anymore. It is too hard to fight to stay alive in a life you donât want to live. It is too hard to fight to stay alive when you know people agree that you shouldnât. Lately it has been nothing but a fight, and it seems that everyone is fighting against me. I feel like a one woman army fighting a battle that is already lost. But the truth is that I am too tired to fight anymore. I am really just a girl who doesnât know how to navigate around life, and is just trying her best, but keeps coming up short. In the past long time I have been reminded every single day that I should give up. I see people I used to think were my friends send stuff about me to hate blogs so they can sit talking publicly about what a bad person I am. I see myself being an annoyance to people I love. I have made such a big deal out of trying to be a good person, to be a good friend, to be good to others, but it seems as if I failed, and I am really sorry. I am to more of a worry and bother, than I am of any good. I have practically no relation to my family anymore. It can be weeks between I hear from them. I only have one friend outside of tumblr and we hardly ever talk, so my absence wonât be noticed by anyone. bSo this is it. This is the end. I have tried this so many times before, but by a little luck, this is my time. Thank you to those who has put up with me. I am not close with many people anymore, but there are two, however, that are important to me. I think I care more about Lis than she does about me, and thatâs okay, I just want her to know that I care, I always have. I donât know her on a deeper level, but I feel like she needs people more than she admits and I want her to be safe and loved. Whatever happens I need anyone who cares to take care of Aly. She is the best person I have ever been lucky enough to have in my life and I can honestly say that if it hasnât been for her I wouldnât have made it this far. She is the best friend a person could ever wish for and I am actually still not sure why she chose me. But I love her, and I need, I need so much for her to be safe, and happy, and have everything. I could go on forever about Aly. She is a lifesaver in the truest meaning of the word. I love her so much. Stay strong. You are stronger than I ever was even on my strongest days. I believe in you.
