Stick the Landing
Unend podcast Season 2 Episode 14 - Guiding Light
S: (Cleo) “Anyway, um. We must be getting pretty close. My lights are pointing directly down there. I think we might have to, like, land soon?”
X: (Everett) “Uh, yeah. It’s probably time to focus up,” Everett calls up from the piloting cockpit. “And I hate to tell you this, but uh… landing is the hard part.”
S: And yes, indeed it is.
M: And rather than narrate at length about how it goes, we’d rather just let you make your own conclusions based on the following medley of impressions.
X: Ready? Let’s land the Stagecoach. Here goes nothin’.
[A brief, chaotic montage of roaring engines, beeping alarms, frantic crosstalk, and screaming:
“The manual!, Cleo, use the manual!”
“No, do not touch the foot pedals, those are for me!”
“Ahhhh!!”
“No, no, nononono! Not that way!”
“Ayyyyyahhhhh!”
“Hold on to something, we’re going down!”
“What’s happening? What’s happening!? Are you guys dying? Are you crashing?!!”
“Yaaaaaaa!!!!”]
X: (Everett) “That actually wasn’t my worst landing. Second-worst.”
(Steve) “That was thrilling! I love this stage-coach.”
M: (Biological Man) “My head is spinning.”
S: (Cleo) “I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”
X: Everett is taking stock of the situation, and she shakes her head. (Everett) “Nah, actually, all things considered, it’s okay. This time we actually have landing gear.”
ALT Text: A pencil crayon drawing showing the different stages of red and cyan colored stagecoach’s aerial acrobatics as it weaves and skims through the air and across the darkly colorful buildings of the necropolitan city while landing. The stage coach performs the following manoeuvres as it descends: Initial Kvochur bell descent, Double jump off a mushroom-like structure, Skyhook down through a building with a large ring, swooping into a Barrel roll, followed by flight In flagrante delicto [redacted], spinning up into a quick Cork zero, spinning down to a reverse Trimp up off a sloped building, a fast and furious Nollie Frontside 180 heading correction across a flat roof, a Grand Jeté skipping across two narrow buildings, a cheeky 360 wing over before a swift descent threading the needle between several narrow structures, a quick Triple Lutz, touching down backwards into a Moonwalk and coming to a gentle stop doing Everett’s signature move, the Sequester shuffle.
A good landing is one you can walk away from. A great landing is one where you can use the plane again.
