#the terror talk

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joplittle is cope of course it is because its like what if those two guys who stood loyal through it all actually had their loyalty return to them at the end of their lives what if that loyalty was mutual, what if that wordless devotion was returned by someone just as devoted what if, then what if

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Unpopular opinion, somewhat: I envision modern AU Thomas Jopson as barely a step above being called a bootlicker, sorry. Yes, he comes from a vulnerable, working class background which just makes everything Worse. Much in a "everything happens for a reason" cretin way of thinking, he'll always hit dissatisfaction among his working peers with a "Well, the administration [Director Crozier] certainly has a reason to make this call" everytime dumbasses above mandate something Stupid and detrimental to the actual work. Gibson can barely stop himself from rolling his eyes at him. Rationally, Jopson Doesn't want to be seen as a kiss ass bootlicker - which makes him discreet in his commentaries, and rationally he also knows capitalism doesn't work to raise up the poor but he does feels like a super special boy who worked ten times harder than everyone else to fall under director Crozier's good graces, personally. Gibson rightfully calls him insufferable but luckily for Thomas, he's far from being the Worst in this subject, from his department - this dubious honor might fall over Supervisor John Irving - to who it doesn't ever occurs to criticize decisions from above. Or maybe over Supervisor Hodgson, who's a very good sport but one of those people who can't seem to conceptualize poor people exist.

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Edward, exhausted, should fall asleep on a chair while waiting to talk to Crozier and Jopson takes this opportunity to watch him, taking in all of the details, the first lieutenant's little breaths, the way his chest rises and falls, how prickly his facial hair looks now that he seems too busy to care for it, the little places his skin seems chapped and reddened by exposition to the cold, the way his expression has fell soft, innocent, his curly hair that's growing longer, the shape of his lips, the way his mouth is not quite closed. Then Irving and Hodgeson, who have a healthy sense of danger, arrive in the room and feel awkward by how uncanny the picture of Thomas's staring at Edward with his pale eyes for what was probably way too long in complete silence, looks. Like WTF is wrong with him, what he's waiting for? But when they let Edward know Thomas was watching him, Edward only feels flustered by the attention. Did he embarrass himself, falling asleep in front of the Captain's steward? No concern in his mind to the fact that that seemed creepy, in Edward's mind is only right Thomas will keep a close eye on anyone who's waiting to speak with their captain. It's just a Thomas's thing.

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I thought today of an Edward that would love to linger anywhere Thomas is doing his tasks, solely to watch him work, enamored - to Jopson's personal puzzlement.

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You know, the ways that Edward second guessed himself at the camp involved the very security of the men he's been in charge of, with the very close threat of a monster that accumulated a body count by that time, a body count of which he knew the details and the aftermath (blanky's leg removal) up close.

The Terror is rich enough for you to interpret that second guessing - and the freeze or flight response he has afterwards during tunbaaqs attack - as you like it, and the answer doesn't have to be just one thing. Him being naturally anxious and his anxiety was exacerbated, him getting into his head because of other things that went wrong and were out of his control when it came to the men's security, the fact he relies mostly on Crozier for the ultimate decision, almost using the Captain's reasoning as a crutch for lack of certainty in his own decisions, Crozier's almost overwhelming experience against his unexperience, his trauma bonding with Crozier (yes, I am using this term right) do not negate each other as possible reasons for his aftermath as a character, etc. But I do think it's ungenerous to interpret Edward as this guy naturally prone to losing his cool, getting insecure and second guessing his decisions, easily shut down or influenced by people around him or someone who moves through his life normalizing an act like leaving the il. (Especially since his last scene and the gold chains in his face imply a story in which the loss of the rest of the men were not taken lightly by him)

Yeah, the memes are funny. And sometimes the memes are hot, even. But it always struck me as wrong to characterize Edward Little as pathetic. Like, if that's the only tone we manage to talk, regarding Edward. By doing this, you lose the very tragedy of his character arc in which his very real courage, hope and solidarity as a leader were almost literally (or literally) beaten out of him.

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anyway, this Edward that thinks tenderly of Jopson, almost platonically, imagining a shy, elegant creature that is too skittish to draw attention to, who might fold inside himself if Edward happens to scare him.

and a Thomas who's holding himself tight as to not spill by the seams when he thinks Edward is interested in him, since he wants to devour that man. a Thomas who spends a slow day of chores daydreaming of Edward in the most obscene positions. a Thomas who feels almost angry and vindicated when lieutnant Little smiles at him since it opens margin to his most perverted thoughts and it might ruin his work day.

and then they both clash into very different paces if one of them does makes the first move. which might never happen.

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When Jopson gets sick, he's stubborn, you know damm well he's going to mask up and go to work anyway. He might collapse at 10AM on a doorway, from a high fever; leading to Crozier being the most mad at Jopson he ever got in his life, and mad at Little, too! "How could you even let him walk out of the house this way?" "I didn't." - of course, Thomas didn't sleep at his place the previous night - Edward, for a moment, is too indignant at hearing Crozier's words he doesn't answer for a moment, before blurting out "... You know he does that for you, don't you?"

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because @spirkkock once mentioned a Ned who'll lose his anxiety and become braver by any sign his friends need him to - the "he say he wanted no pickles, actually" kinda friend, its clear to me in any fake dating scenario with Jopson - requested by Jopson, obviously - Edward will dig himself deeper, posturing some braveness and tranquility he usually doesnt have, like "a good boyfriend right now would wrap his arms around his waist. Right. Take a deep breath, Jopson needs this." and "As we're sitting down, I'll keep my hand over his knee, that's what couples do, right? thats normal. Its completely chaste, I wont lift my hand further, I wouldnt dream of it. I'm doing so well. Would Tom even like a boyfriend who does that? I'm at a loss but my hand is already caressing his knee and ok his hand is over mine now, no going back now, breathe, Little, breathe." and "All right, this moment deserves a kiss. Dont think too much, do it. Now! There! Done! Oh, God, did I do that right? Is Thomas ok with this? He's smiling, he's not mad at me. We're doing such a good job." and "I'll suggest Tom to sit over my lap, next. Time to whisper that in his ear. That will sure show them, it will look like we've been dating for a while." Meanwhile, Thomas is quietly losing his mind.