can you make up for the sins of the past ? for your carelessness, your blind faith, for the darkness they pulled out of the pit of you and rained down on the world ? if you keep putting yourself aside, keep ignoring all the mistakes, and spend all your idle hours putting right the wrongs, will the fetid lap of an oceanic guilt draw back and let you heal ? there are figments of a life once lived , gentle pangs of what could be , echoes of love lost , but it’s all shadowed by leagues of cruel shadows . pervasive darkness that never lets up .
// perhaps you will always stand at the edge of everything , your curse to know you cannot stop it . putting it one broken thing together only for another to shatter into a thousand pieces . forgiving every egregious sin but n e v e r yourself.
✝ STATS ✝
full name: han do-jin.
age: 29.
d.o.b: september 21.
zodiac: virgo sun, capricorn moon, cancer rising.
occupation: detective at the cardinal hill police station.
hometown: durango, colorado, usa.
current residence: cardinal hill, wa.
time in cardinal hill: 4 years.
species: witch.
sexuality: demisexual + demiromantic.
facelaim: song kang.
negative traits: wounded, impatient, rigid, guarded, can be harsh.
in focus: (tw: ptsd, military, injury) do-jin has a goodness in him that only comes from fighting his way through an unforgiving gauntlet and coming out ( somewhat ) whole on the other side. the patterns of malice he endured over his years in the military continue to wear on him in quiet ways — a downcast gaze, rough-hewn hands, a painful limp, and a thousand-yard stare. despite the scars that riddle him, he has an unshakable determination, never relenting from a task once he’s set his mind to it. this self-sacrificing nature was taught to him by his father and his grandfather, both descendent from a long line of ranchers, breeding korean jeju, appaloose, & palomino horses. to this day, he has the need to fix things — whether it be a fence post or a sour disposition.
because of his upbringing and the dearth of magic in it, he was a lone witch, unable to really explore his power until joining the military at 18. he was made for service, and he excelled to the level of sergeant in no time. honorably discharged due to injury, he found himself still unable to reconcile his nature — a witch. after years of struggling to move on from his time in the military, dealing with crippling ptsd, he finally found his place in cardinal hill as a state park ranger that seemed to fit. he felt like he could breath for the first time. not only was he among others like him that he could learn from, he found a job that filled him with purpose and a sense of peace. the park provides him serenity, stillness, steadiness. nature is dependable in its way.
he has no patience for wrong-doing and is quick to step in if someone is being treated unfairly. he’s also terrible at expressing his emotions and tends to clamp down if someone attempts to get too close — but this hard exterior thaws quickly, especially once he’s had time to adjust and process.
✝ HEADCANONS ✝
do-jin has a black german shepherd named jung-ya that is always at his side. provided to him after his discharge to help him during the years he was re-learning how to walk.
every morning, he has his tea and his boxed breakfast nestled in the state park with a clear view of the sky. he loves the quiet stillness of the early hours and always catches the sunrise.
working with his hands is something that relaxes him, even if his body protests sometimes. when work is slow, he often busies himself with odd jobs — fixing up old cars, rebuilding a neighbor’s collapsed shed, or doing extra patrols.
he drives an old 70’s bronco and a 60’s triumph bonneville, both in pristine running condition.
he’s blind in one eye but has perfect vision in his left. being right handed, he had to learn to adjust the way he held rifles and guns. this took a great deal of time and caused him a lot of frustration, but his aim is now just as good with his left eye as it was with his right.
a thorough knowledge of horses, having been raised on a prestigious ranch, he can provide consultative services on equine fitness, health, diet, pedigree, riding, and training.
his horse, seok, is another companion of his, specifically at the state park.
due to experiences in the military, he refrained from using his magic regularly for years. now that he's settling down into a new routine, he is trying to get more accustomed to the practice — to re-associate his feelings on his abilities with something good. his rituals are usually done out in the park, on his own, where only nature might witness.
ptsd rules much of his life, especially his magic. they are two threads knotted together that feel impossible to unravel.
✝ WANTED CONNECTIONS ✝
gaits & tack ! because of his military discipline and knowledge of equines, he's a masterful rider and a great teacher. though this isn't something he offers routinely, to the right person, he would abide being their instructor.
the one who saw the wraith and did not scream ! a romantic connection that's unusual due to its intensity. this is someone that is able to see the beyond surface — who helps do-jin face his past with strength, to reclaim himself through the use of his magic. someone that doesn't turn away when they learn the treacherous nature of his past and loves him more because of the man he's becoming despite it.
general connections: ranch acquaintances, park-goers, friends, folks in need of mechanical assistance, physical therapist.
