So if you follow me you know that I post personal posts occasionally, but they are rarely ever rant-y or scary. However, on this particular issue I really need some advice/ support/ personal stories. Please help me if you can (or just read because I am honestly terrified but I need to get this out.)
Backstory: I have had chronic kneecap dislocations since 6th grade (it happened once or twice before then but I thought I just twisted it wrong and sprained it or something.) I'm not a particularly squeamish person, but its sort of creepy to look at and just feels WRONG. it happens in my sleep, it happened so much at dance that I had to quit, and I am limited to two strokes on swim team. I do not have an issue with pain, but I do have an issue with injury anxiety, which I would have never guessed in a million years. I have spent both my freshman Sadie's and freshman homecoming crying in the bathroom for five minutes because I just feel so weak and helpless. I don't feel a ton of pain, and that's not me being brave; I just don't feel it as much as some others (or maybe I have a really high tolerance, idk.)
Why am I sharing this today? I just saw my 5th orthopedist about this issue. She actually made sense (unlike the four previous contestants) BUT she recommended that I get a scope-surgery where they insert a cadaver ligament from my kneecap tendon to my bone, on both knees eventually (one at a time.)
I have never been scared for something so much in my LIFE and I kind of need advice on whether its a good idea, if you've had this sort of surgery, or any encouragement. Its ultimately my parents' decision (I'm still in high school), but I'm very wary, mostly because I am not bothered by the pain and I don't think that being sliced and screw together is the best thing for my anxiety. Help a blogger out. Injury stories, advice, reassuring words, etc?
This is an Agents of SHIELD fanfiction about what happens after the end of the season one finale. Read at your own risk of spoilers!
The lab was a very different place now. Skye usually came down to keep her company as she tried to develop something, ANYTHING, to help her fallen—coworker? Best mate? Soulmate? Occasionally, Skye would catch her talking to herself, having an argument with no one but the Fitz in her imagination. A Fitz that may never be quite like the memory of his was again.
Currently, Simmons was working on trying to find all she could about treatments for anoxia. The hypobaric chamber had been doing its job for the most part, but clearly Fitz’s case was much worse than Jemma’s. He had ended up being left by Fury’s medical staff in a medically induced coma once the chamber brought his temperature to a certain level. His heart was beating independently, but his brain and lungs were working overtime in order to try and repair what damage had been done. Skye cleared her throat and Simmons looked up from her research.
“Simmons, are you doing okay over there?”
Jemma plastered on one of her hopefully-realistic smiles. “Of course Skye. May I help you?” Skye rolled her eyes and stood up.
“You still can’t lie for shit. Now tell me, what has got you so concerned over there? Did you find something in your studies of whatever it is that you gotta study?”
“Well...” Simmons glanced down at the paragraph she’d just highlighted. “I’ve been piecing together a number of outcomes for anoxia, and I have hit a block in my research.” Skye nodded and sat back down in her chair, tipping the thing back and resting her feet on the counter. Fitz would’ve reprimanded her. “There could be numerous outcomes, is my problem. I don’t know which one to even begin tackling.”
“When will you know which one is the outcome?” she asked slowly.
“When—when I wake Fitz up from the precarious situation he’s in.” Skye shrugged and rocked the chair back further.
“Wake him up then. Maybe it won’t be so bad and he will be able to help mentally. It would cheer you up anyhow.”
“I can’t do that. His very nerve cell bodies are at stake here. They’d be much more vulnerable, as would most of his brain, if he were to be using extra oxygen to perform the tasks we are doing right now: blinking, talking, and assisted breathing. It is simply not the right time. And besides, once he is vulnerable to the factors, I will have a limited about of time. No one else here has intensive medical training. I myself am not a neurobiologist; I barely scratched the surface of anoxia these past few weeks. This is completely mental and I can’t risk losing him after he—“. She swallowed.
Skye mimed a calming down signal. “Simmons, he will be fine. You are the most brilliant mind on this plane other than him. You need to calm down.”
Simmons nodded and took a few deep breaths. “You don’t understand.” Skye raised an eyebrow as if to challenge that. “He... he was, is, in love with me”
Skye covered her mouth and, much to her dismay, the chair she was sitting in fell backwards. She started cracking up, inconspicuously, but Simmons knew the truth. “I’m sorry! Its just... wow, you didn’t see that coming?!” Earning a glare, she tried to compose herself. “Really? Every single time he looked at you, his whole face would soften and he would smile. Every. Single. Time. And the whole time you were away, being a consultant for Deathlok? ‘Simmons did this, Simmons did that, Simmons is a feisty one, she’s so smart, I’m so lucky she even talks to me’. You REALLY didn’t see this? Even a little bit?” Jemma slumped against the desk.
“I hate this Skye. I... love him too”
Skye’s eyes went really wide now. “YESSS!” she squealed. “It’s about time you two got together. Can I be the maid of honor? Are you going to hyphenate your last names? Are you—“
“Enough!” Simmons stood up. “We are not even dating, we haven’t talked at all, and he’s in a coma BECAUSE OF ME.”
“He did it to save your freaking life!”
“I KNOW THAT. Now, he’s lying in a coma that I put him in, and I had to do that because he had to save my BLOODY life.” The tears started pouring down her face. “I’m sorry Skye. I didn’t mean to sound angry. I’m just frustrated with how life had to be. It isn’t fair and I want Fitz back.” Her face transformed from helpless to somewhat determined. “I am going to wake him up from that coma and save his bloody life.”
Does anyone want to chat on Skype or IM or something after the episode tonight? Send me usernames, I'd love to get to know you and brainstorm head canons:)
Message me PLEASE I like getting to know you all! Tell me your life stories and your struggles and your issues with people I don't mind complaints and rants I like being close to you:)
Jemma Simmons, age 18 (when she joined the academy)
I did some drawing today (and I did my first Photoshop coloring) let me know if you want anything else done! I'm still working on a Fitz character design, and I'm still trying to figure out my style in general...
