The First And Last Time
I haven't written in a while and I don't know who cares enough to read my blog but It definitely feels nice to be able to have a bit of time to write again. I like to ride solo on my bar journeys sometimes to get to talk to strangers and socialize with people I don't usually. It's harder to do that when you have company. You start wondering if they feel abandoned, bored, etc. This was a Saturday night. I had two drinks and I felt like the social vibe was kind of closed since most people were too into hanging out with their own group. I paid my tab and went out to have a smoke, absorb the social atmosphere outside the bar one last time, then go on a journey to find my bed. Ben. He was smoking a Marlboro and was clearly drunk off his mind. I went UpTo him and asked if he needed help, to which he replied. "Hi I'm Ben I have a logo company and its called ________ . Cool right?!" I knew this was going to be awesome. We talked and we went back in the bar and he introduced me to his friends. They were all around 5-6 years older than I was. He told me that they were all from Binghamton and most of them moved out to different states. They all came to NYC for the Dice World Championships. When I asked him what that was he said "it's like the poker world championships but it's with dice... And it's not real." They made it up! They all come to NYC to a random bar once a year from wherever they are and they play dice, get drunk, and catch up. Ben got me a rum and coke and said he was glad to have met someone 'cool' and that I'm genuinely kind. We talked about music, logos, business, women, and a whole bunch of things. But things got even more interesting when he asked me if I did coke. I said I had never. You have to keep in mind that I'm very cautiously adventurous when it comes to these things and was slightly curious about what was to follow. He was shocked that I never tried it and his voice became very sly. He came closer and asked if I would want to do a line in the bathroom. Fear and adrenaline. That's what I felt immediately. Right when he asked, his best friend came out of nowhere and told him that they were all leaving. We said our good-byes and I said I'd take a smoke with him and wait till his cab arrived. When a man buys you a drink and you automatically feel a "bro-ship", you have a proper goodbye. I went downstairs and he disappeared. I was just about to start walking when I feel this hard pat on my back and a "c'mon S we're going to another bar!" We somehow ended up at his friends house, a plate on the table, and lines of white powder on the plate. He taught me how to inhale and I did. Throughout the night I've taken a couple of hits. The first and last time I have have ever. It's not a kicker. I didn't feel anything off the bat but I slowly realized this energy building up inside me, and confidence in knowing that these strangers will want to hear what I have to say. I started talking more and eventually all the built up energy I had in me wanted to be released. I wanted to pick up the heaviest thing I could find. I am okay with substance but not okay with cocaine's philosophy (nor the addiction). Where as in alcohol loosens you up and temporarily gets rid of your social fear, cocaine makes you feel powerful and much 'more' than you are. And that is something I wasn't okay with. What was important however, was the bonds that I made that night. I ate, drank, smoked, sniffed and socialized in their home and they didn't want any of my money. They were happy with me just being there. Ben and I still keep in contact, and that's something I treasure because it's people like him who remind me of how beautiful people are, and can be. He was genuine.