thegiantsquids
in a way I think being gay has a lot to do it? I was reading some peoples theories (@weedlesbian's theories specifically just to give proper credit) basically about how being gay (or any other thing that makes you anything other than society's Ideal Woman) sort of... coercively excludes you from womanhood? and it's easy to feel like an Other. and that's not to say that nb gay/bi/pan/etc people are misguided about their own gender, of course, but my gayness def impacts my gender feelings
id love to read that post if you can find it, because i was kind of playing around with that idea as well. especially in concern with how i feel like ive sort of fought to be included in womanhood and identifying as a woman. because being gay and a woman has always been... kind of with an implied asterik “but not like other women” which is completely bullshit and implies were sort of an exception to womenhood. like when a tomboy grows up and is a lesbian, its like oh well it makes sense shes Not Like Other Women, and that masculine behavior is explained by being a deviation through sexuality. but no! being a tomboy and prefering masculine behavior and dress is seperate from sexuality! gender expression is seperate from sexuality! sexuality does not explain my gender expression. both of them are a part of me that describes how i place myself in the world but thats all. same im sure for trans women and women of color. white straight women is the default view of Woman and deviations from that become woman* and have to fight to be included in what it means to be one. and i think that asterik becomes so ingrained in the view of how we see ourselves as sort of “other” than what it means to be a woman. and some people embrace that but personally i dont like others telling me who i am and ill define myself as who i want to be.
