#thegrumpybi

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

In case you were still wondering--the Kristen Stewart gifs you reblogged are from a SNL skit called "Totinos with Kristen Stewart"! It's hilarious and gay and beautiful

Thank you! I remember that sketch.

[garkgatiss]

Go Blue!! Also thanks for tinfoiling or at least assuring all of us that we aren't crazy to feel very put off by the episode :)

lmao you are welcome, it is no hardship. the single new idea that there’s a secret fourth episode is much easier for me to accept than the thought that the million tiny bits of information about who mark and steven are and what they’ve created all suddenly add up to the completely wrong thing, also GO BLUE!!!!

[hushwatson]

Hiya! Your dog prompt was so cute (I can imagine Sherlock's offended face at the puppy). How about prompt 138 and/or 79?

Thank you!  Glad you liked it and yes I can imagine Sherlock’s face as well.

“I’m too sober for this shit.”

John trudged up the seventeen stairs to the flat after walking home from the corner pub, the lights were on and it was eerily quiet in the flat.  John checked the front rooms and even Sherlock’s bedroom and there was no Sherlock to be found.  He looked up at the ceiling.  The only place left for Sherlock to be was John’s room unless he left the flat without turning anything off and locking up, but his Belstaff was hanging on it’s hook.

John tried to remain calm as he climbed the stairs to his room and tried to process the sight he came upon.  Sherlock tied up and then hand cuffed to John’s bed.  john rubbed his hands over his face hoping he was just seeing things, but no, there Sherlock was - feet tied and hands cuffed around the bedpost.

“Shall I even ask what you’re doing?  I knew I should’ve had a few more pints.  I’m too sober for this shit.  Sherlock, why do you insist on pulling things like this in my room?”

“It’s less likely Mrs. Hudson will hear me all the way up here and I knew sooner or later you’d find me since I’ve seem to over estimate my ability this time.  While I was cuffing my hands, I pulled a muscle in my shoulder and it’s quite painful, there’s no way I can get out of this on my own.  If you’d be so kind to help me out.”

“And what’s in it for me?” John asked.  There was no way he was letting Sherlock get out of this one so easily, but it could be worse, at least he was dressed.  He’d come home on quite a few occasions to find him trussed up naked which lead to interesting outcomes, but this was not to be one of those times.

“Well you see, there’s a slight problem, I’ve misplaced the key and my shoulder is cramping up again.  Could you just text Lestrade and ask him to pop by and borrow his key?”

“Lestrade’s working that case that you said was a 3 and that he should be able to figure it out.  Let me go see if i can find a paper clip.  Are you sure the key isn’t where we usually keep it?”

“Yes, I’m quite positive.  I checked.”

“And yet you still thought this was a good idea?”  John said motioning to Sherlock’s current condition.

“At the time yes, but when I dropped my paper clip, I changed my mind.”

“You so owe me for this,” he said as he got down on his knees and looked underneath the bed for the paperclip. “Found it!”  he said getting back up and going to work on the hand cuffs.  It took him a few tries, but he finally got it.

“Oh thank God,” Sherlock exhaled rubbing his shoulder.

“JOOOHHHNNN, can you rub my shoulder, I can’t reach where it hurts.”

“Alright you, but downstairs, I’m not having you fall asleep up here, and besides the oil is downstairs.

********

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

John woke up to something burning in the kitchen.  He rolled out of bed and grabbed his robe, putting it on while padding out to the kitchen.  “For Christ’s sake open a window!” He shouted over the fire alarm while stumbling to the two windows to open them.  The cold air immediately blew in and started to remove some of the smell away.  Meanwhile, Sherlock had turned the fire alarm off.

John knew what was coming up next Sherlock pleading with him to clean the mess up.  He could tell by the look on Sherlock’s face.

John cut him off, “before you even ask, the answer is no. You made the mess, you clean it up.”

“But you’re much better at cleaning than I am.” Sherlock whined.

“Which is why you should learn.  Besides, I’ll make you a deal.

Sherlock raised his eyebrow, “What makes you think I’m dumb enough to fall for that?  Do you have any idea how long it will take to clean this?”

“Yes I do and the reason I think you’ll agree is because of the proposition I have for you.”

“What could you possibly do that would make me agree to clean this up?”

John moved closer, wrapping his arms around Sherlock’s waist and licking his neck, “You know that thing you’ve been dying to try in the bedroom and I keep saying no, well if you clean this up, and I mean clean it thoroughly, I’m all yours for however long it takes and I’ll even let you take notes.”

Sherlock got a big grin on his face, “Really?”

“Yes really, and I ‘ll even go and get things ready while you tidy up.  Oh just one thing, you need a shower first because you reek.”

Check out prompts here

[liddrose]

thegrumpybi replied to your post: Ben C has prob read your johnlock porn. I bet he...

they’re both die hard bottomlock readers tho tbh

Truly