#theknifedrawer

[theknifedrawer-blog]

The more stable my life gets, the more mentally unstable I become.

Knife Drawer

[theknifedrawer-blog]

wanting to die a few months ago

I catch myself standing under a hot shower in the middle of the day.  I conclude that it’s something only coddled children, the depressed, or the unemployed are able to do.  I let heavy matted hair drip into my eyes and sting as I wonder if it’s weird to just ask someone what their mind has been on.  My friend, Miguel Sucio, is in the hospital with two broken legs and I just want to ask him if he sees the world differently now. Certainly he must.  Instead we ask each other about our physical days and weeks while the same stumbling answer can always be deducted: “I spend my time making lots of money for someone who doesn’t know that I exist.”  

[theknifedrawer-blog]

half equinox

Early this morning

when the moon exposed

the breast of the mountain

i found out 

that diamonds are not rare

someone richer than you

owns them all

and tells you that you need them

and dangles them at the tip of your nose

and charges you a hundred

percent more than they are really worth

and keeps themself rich

and eats salads

and burns gas

and throws away food

and writes bad jokes for you to laugh at

[theknifedrawer-blog]

mismatched socks

the more time you spend preaching something

the less time you spend actually doing it

if one is truly the alpha

it does not have to be proclaimed

you and i keep reassuring each other

that we are taking it slow

but i’ve seen you 7 days out of 10

and i’ve been meaning to tell you 

that you can leave your toothbrush on the sink

maybe we’re just living in it

before it dies 

like the brother i never had

or the man who you thought was your father

we are driving slowly through a tunnel

holding down the horn and laughing at the echo

love is loud and obnoxious

it pokes fun at you 

and laughs

until daylight exposes you 

once more

[theknifedrawer-blog]

Yung knifedrawer circa 2010. Took an 8 month break from this because I haven’t been staring into the existential void lately.  Writing passed the sudden shift and realizing that uncertainty is the only thing that matters. Whatever. Nobody is going to read this anyways.  I had literally one dedicated follower and they’re gone now.

[theknifedrawer-blog]

Constant obligations make me so mechanical. I just need someone to disappear with and fuck like an animal.

[theknifedrawer-blog]

A Letter Written From A General Woman To Me

You have no clue What it is like To be with you

To lay next to your plump Post graduate body while you Moan the names of Other women in your sleep Some I know and Others I dont

To have to inhale your Stale nicotine breath Which I’ve told you Reminds me of what little Air escaped my father’s Throat when he screamed at us I Know I told you that. And you Never considered quitting

To be the net which Catches and holds All of your frustration Anxiety your fucking Sisophys complex you

Stretched me thin and Burned me to unsettling Feeble Ash

[theknifedrawer-blog]

He ate steak and fries and watched The pictures stum bled across the screen He thinks it was mute He slid bloody strips of muscle and flesh and rubbed his penis and rolled it like a cigarette and tucked it behind his ear.