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Thematic Post - (Those Times) Missing You

i had just finished one of the more difficult trials of my life (standardized test). all i really wanted to do was enjoy my last two months in the best city of the world, knowing that the best, most magical chapter of my life was about to close, and that i was to move to another city, to another stage in life. so these last two months, every minute was very precious, and besides school, i wanted to spend every minute tearing through my bucket list. it wasn't exactly like this, but i would look at the map and just pick a metro station, and just go there. in this city, the liveliest parts seemed to center around the metro station. it made it more convenient for me anyway. so aside from school, the bucket list - it was all about the bucket list. finish before i had to leave this place.

it came as a request one day, i think it was in may, when one of my awesome roommates came to me, one of my darling roommates from maison espoir (i lived with 5 girls, all lovely people), and asked me if i was looking for a language exchange partner, and that her cousin (he) really wanted to learn english because he wanted to eventually work for a foreign company. he could teach me his language, i could teach him english. KZ suggested the meeting be 3 hours, 1.5 hours per language.

to me that was just too much of my time on something i didn't want to do. that i didn't have time for, to be more exact. i already had a language exchange partner, she was super amazing, and i learned a lot from her already. most important of all, our partnership was effective. we also went to (the best) yoga studio together. i had everything i wanted in a language exchange partner already, i didn't need another one.

my first answer to KZ was to refuse. so i did - she gave me an out anyway, she basically said if i wasn't able, it's fine. so i said no. i was being selfish with my time, i wanted as much free time as i could possibly get after school. remember i only had 2 months left in this magical place, and so much more i had to see.

about a week later, KZ asked me the same request again, that her cousin really needed a language exchange, and to do her this favor. because it was her second time asking me, i felt bad for refusing. KZ gave my contact information to him, and MK helped me write a message in his language settling meeting place and time. so i somehow agreed to meet in front of The Gap at one of the busiest train stations in town. i remember being slightly miffed about the whole situation, and showed up to the The Gap feeling pretty impatient.

since the first meeting, he's never been on time to any of our (many) future meetings. so first he was late, and apparently there were many Gaps near the train station, so there was some confusion as to which Gap it was, and because my grasp of the language probably wasn't as good, so there was chaos. when we finally met up, it was awkward as we made our way to a starbucks. he got ice coffee, and i think i got some kind of tea.

i remember the next 1.5 hours or so (or was it 2 hrs) was pretty awkward. we got the basic information from each other, which schools we went to, where we're from, where we live, and probably where we liked to eat, etc. after the meeting, i remember asking him if he wanted to continue this. i thought it didn't go that well, our language exchange, so i was banking on him saying no, and i'd be free of this extra weekly errand that i didn't want to make time for. to be honest, since i was leaving the country, i didn't really have much motivation to continue learning the language anymore. it sounds lazy and irresponsible and everything, and i truly did enjoy learning the language when i was there, but the fact was that i didn't need the language anymore in the coming months.

what i did underestimate was his desire to learn english though. in a way that motivated me to continue learning his language. he said yes right away, that he wanted to learn english, and his fortitude was evident from our first meeting. i was disappointed a little, that had saddled myself with this errand that i didn't want to make time for. he said that he wanted to do this once a week. now looking back, i remember he really was motivated, worked really hard on english. since we first met, he rarely spoke to me in his native language, just english during the many hours we spent together. i would get lazy with the native language and just speak to him in english too.

it started with just coffee, but then it became lunch and coffee, then later on to lunch coffee, and drinks. then we watched some movies (Inception came to mind), and i met his lovely lovely lovely family with KZ for a delicious sushi dinner. from the way he interacted with his family, u can clearly see the decency of his character. during our interactions, we talked about hundreds of topics. he told me about his school, his school work, his teachers, his projects, his future ambitions, his friends, his family and the people around him. i told him about myself with similar topics as well. other topics include sports, food, culture, movies. it was always over lunch, coffee, dinner, drinks, or just walking somewhere. during the course of our interaction, we traded a lot of messages as well. i actually did write all my messages to him in the local language, and he wrote to me in english.

i don't really remember exact conversations, but i remember our meetings got progressively more fun, more natural, and more so something i looked forward to. it was like the reverse of what i initially thought this errand would be. i wanted to use my time to experience a proper, authentic life in my host country. initially i did this by tearing the town apart, visiting place to place, searching for gems in the city. however, this was the best way to experience local life - interacting and forming a great relationship with a local, a good person, a kind person, an interesting person. he integrated me into his life by introducing me to his amazing family and friends where he could. we even only went to movie theaters that foreigners didn't frequent. i watched many movies in that city, but i usually ended up going to the one where a lot of expats go to, it was posh and pretty and luxurious, but not where locals went.

eventually all our meetings took place near where he lived, since he lived in a great area, one of my favorite areas of the city. i requested this. because we were in his hood, i relied on him a lot to choose places for meals. he did great, introducing me to many great restaurants. he actually introduced me to what would become one of my favorite restaurants there, and he even provided a coupon one time to get a discount. to this day, i still love that area of the city.

at that time i had already gained admission into the graduate school of my choice (the reason i was moving), but for a time he was studying for the graduate school of his choice. towards the end of my stay we were able to celebrate him getting into the school of his choice. it was a happy occasion. he told me that his grandfather would never worry about him ever again. (he also told his grandfather was the one who named him).

it was close to the end of my stay in the city, and i would be leaving soon. we had a final celebration where i introduced him to another language exchange partner, and he brought his friend. it was a great meal. he walked with me to the train station and gave me a card in the shape of a black cat, since i had told him about sabrina previously. when i left on the train, it felt like he was seeing me off at the airport or something, like i would never see him again. i read the card on the train, it was as sincere, grateful, kind, and thoughtful as he was. there were a lot of emotions running through me, a relationship formed, but had to end, and i was feeling all kinds of sadness about leaving and ending a chapter in one of the best times in my life.

i returned to that city the following year for a visit, and i met up with him then again. i remember he looked like he hadn't slept in days, glasses, scruffy face, bloodshot eyes. he was studying for something. it was the way i remembered him though, hardworking, always up to eyeballs in work, trying to achieve his goals. later i would also eventually meet up with him in paris too as well. he made it to europe all on his own merit, i was so proud. he continued to collect international experiences. when i met him, he had spent time in canada, later in belgium, then in washington DC, then in the philippines. when i left, we traded emails for a while, but eventually our communication faded to our new busy lives and the distance between us.

he'll probably eventually (or already is) lead(ing) an exemplary life. us crossing paths was short, but meaningful. it makes me marvel at life - that while we are busy walking our own paths, our paths intersected, however briefly. our interactions, no matter how short, made a part of my life so very colorful.

we crossed paths, and your presence in my memories make this life much more interesting, and left me with many fond memories to recall. ---

there goes the first piece in the "missing you" series.

#missing you #thematic post #memory lane #Memories #memory recall #思い出横丁