#theme: sith

[starwarsfic]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Sith!Obi-Wan, Alpha-17/Obi-Wan, Sidious/Obi-Wan

[starwarsfic]

I.38

Originally posted August 30, 2020

Summary: There was no limit to the anger he could feel, to the hatred he could hold in his heart.

Details: Alpha-17/Obi-Wan. Sith!Alpha.

xxxxxx

When Alpha-17 was decanted, they were still decommissioning any of the Vod'e who showed even the slightest difference from the template. So those who survived kept their secrets closely guarded, locked away in their minds and hearts and never uttered outloud.

He'd expected to die before his secret was ever revealed, knowing none of them were made to survive the war they were created to fight in. He hadn't expected to risk revealing it so soon, around so many people who might be able to tell what he was doing.

But he could feel Obi-Wan down the hall, whatever had been done to him had ripped open those smooth, beautiful shields he so meticulously maintained (and that Alpha-17 loved to gaze at from afar, trying to copy a tranquility he knew he'd never feel) and now he was leaking pain so sharp and disturbing that Alpha-17 wanted to rip Ventress' throat out with his bare teeth, wanted to tear into everyone between him and Obi-Wan and make them suffer.

Alpha-17 knew what the Jedi said about hate, but he wasn't a Jedi. Jango Fett had survived Galidraan with the Manda-blessed power that sang behind his beskar mind shields and had told the Alphas about it, probably suspecting someone had inherited it from him.

There were many lessons he gave of his secret, to just the Vod'e, but the most important would always be that survival was more important than the distinctions the Jedi and Sith made.

That was true for Alpha-17, that was true for Obi-Wan, even if the Jedi would claim it wasn't, would avoid using the power his 'Force' offered him.

Would die because of that, with Alpha-17 helpless, trapped in the same building and letting his Jedi die.

Despite how powerful Ventress claimed to be, it wasn't actually difficult to slip the idea to her that she should put him with Obi-Wan. And from there...from there Alpha-17 just had to act naturally while using his abilities in the least detectable ways.

Not that Obi-Wan was in any state to notice, no matter how well he was fighting (that he was seconds from collapse and still keeping up, still capable of taking out their opponents, made some part of Alpha-17 sing).

Alpha-17 would kill Ventress, someday, for what she had done to Obi-Wan. Would make her suffer worse, longer, would make her beg and break as Obi-Wan never would.

Until that day, he had a Jedi to protect.

***

Once he'd used his abilities (and it was the Force, no matter what Fett might say about it) through rage, that became so much easier. He still had to lock down on it while near any Jedi, all of them too hyper alert of the Sith around them, but there was a lot he could do.

Like twist the chips he found in the younger generations until they were inactive. Like push suggestions into the Kaminoans' minds so they thought they decommissioned Vod'e that were instead freed and rescued.

There was no limit to the anger he could feel, to the hatred he could hold in his heart. His people were slaves, the Senate was running the war so badly even the Jedi were dying out, and the Sith were still out there. Like Ventress, who had yet to pay for any of her crimes against Alpha-17's aliit.

Like Dooku, who seemed to think Obi-Wan would ever Fall for him. Alpha-17 could understand wanting to see Obi-Wan give into his passions, allow himself to be free of Jedi indoctrination, but Dooku had abandoned him, had ignored him for years. If Obi-Wan were to use the Dark, Alpha-17 would be the one to show him how good it could feel.

Beyond them, still, was Sidious. The Sith Master no one could seem to track down.

That was who Alpha-17 set his sights on.

***

Finding one Sith Lord when the galaxy was at war was more difficult than Alpha-17 would ever admit. There were so many concentrations of the "Dark" side that he had to look over and dismiss.

He knew he wouldn't be at the front lines, there was no reason for that.

He knew he must have something to do with the Vod'e's creation, if only from the vague information Jango had given them.

He learned, from Obi-Wan, during a particularly boring set of days when his new ARCs were being inspected, that Dooku claimed the Sith Lord had power in the Senate.

And so Alpha-17 found a way to get himself to Coruscant, eventually. They were used to the mindless drones of the newer Vod'e there and would never suspect him.

[starwarsfic]

Odious.15

Originally posted September 14, 2020

Summary: Obi-Wan was a Sith Killer, born and raised.

Details: Sidious/Obi-Wan. Sithspawn!Stewjoni AU. AU of Breathe In With Hunger.

xxxxxx

Tensions were high as he made his way through the Senate Dome, carefully avoiding the guards. Between his abilities in the Force and his natural abilities, it wasn't hard to go unnoticed. Especially since none of them were looking for any Jedi so close by now.

Sidious' office had already been cleaned up and Obi-Wan could sense him there, the miasma of Dark energies no longer being obscured by the clouds of whatever spell Sidious had used to hide.

When he reached the door, he stepped out into the open. As the guards raised their blasters, he let his shields drop, his own presence exploding outward to fill the section of the building. The guards dropped, swaying in place, as he suggested they rest.

He blew open the door to Sidious' office and strode in, lightsaber in one hand. Sidious hesitated, swaying where he stood just as the guards had.

Though, he didn't take to Obi-Wan's suggestions so easily.

"I had wondered what it would feel like," Sidious murmured, staring at him. "You're truly magnificent."

"I'm here to kill you." He felt like he shouldn't need to point that out, but the Sith were always odd.

Sidious stepped towards him, unable to look away. The song in Obi-Wan's presence curled around him, latching onto his shields, slowly seeping through. It made Obi-Wan dizzy, he'd never put conscious effort into it before and Sidious was so powerful.

"I always thought you were beautiful. I had never understood why you appealed so much to me, but when Anakin revealed what you were...it all made so much sense."

He finally stopped, just out of arm's reach of Obi-Wan, who flicked on his lightsaber but didn't yet raise it.

"Anakin told you?"

"Oh, he didn't mean to. If he was talking to someone else, maybe they wouldn't have even caught the hints he gave."

That made more sense, though why Obi-Wan hesitated to believe that Anakin had betrayed him in that way, when he'd done so much worse, he didn't know. He'd told Anakin the truth of himself when Anakin was nine, he'd known to keep the secret, but probably still given enough hints over the years that a Sith would guess the truth, as Sidious implied.

Not that Sidious was trustworthy. For all Obi-Wan knew, he'd looked into the highly secure files the Order had on him.

He raised his lightsaber into a guard position, watching Sidious, waiting for him to give any indication that he found Obi-Wan a threat.

"Is this some odd form of suicide?"

Sidious gave a smug smile. "Do you truly want to kill me?"

"Of course I do. You're a Sith, you just destroyed the Order. You're responsible for a galaxy-wide war."

"It's true, the Jedi Order are gone. And what does that mean for you? Without their protection, I suppose you'll return to your home planet? Live out the rest of your long life confined to one place?"

Frowning, Obi-Wan took a step back, circling into what he thought might be an easier position. Around him the Dark seemed to be coalescing, caressing him like a physical touch. His kind craved the Dark, but the Dark had always craved them back.

"That's hardly necessary. Most of the people who know what I am are dead, now," he gritted out.

Sidious turned with him, but gave the impression he wasn't concerned about his coming death, still. His pupils were blown, his breathing fast. Obi-Wan could see the Force moving within him, the bold, dark lines of it flowing in and around his frail seeming body.

His instincts told him to stop playing, to strike Sidious down and feed off his life essence while he was weak. Yet, something held him back, an unease in the Force that was growing ever stronger.

"You've known what I am for years," he guessed, watching for any reaction. "You...waited to make your move on Anakin until I was off-planet. You knew the Council would come without me, that if I came I would be alone."

The look he received was something like proud and it made his skin crawl. "You always were a clever creature, Obi-Wan," Sidious' human vocal cords couldn't handle the actual pronunciation of his name, but he got eerily close, closer than he should have. "I knew they wouldn't trust you. Just as you did, deep down. They never trusted you, never really wanted you. You were a burden and a tool."

That wasn't true, he knew that wasn't true. He'd had friends in the Order, they'd been a second family to him. Even the ones who knew what he was, for the most part. It had just been the older Jedi, the Council, who had always stayed wary despite everything Obi-Wan did to prove they could trust him.

So why did it feel like the truth, coming from Sidious? The Force didn't warn Obi-Wan of any deceit, but he knew that the Sith could fool a Jedi in such a way. Sidious had certainly played them all for decades.

"And you expect me to believe I'll be anything more to you?" he scoffed, instead of the too-weak denial he would have given.

"You are unique in all the galaxy. A treasure for any Sith."

"The Sith are food to me."

"Any Force user could be," Sidious countered. "And there are many darksiders I have no desire to see continue."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "I won't be your pet hunter. Do you think such a downgrade in positions would make up for all you've taken from me?"

Sidious stepped forward again, once more not seeming to care about the lightsaber in Obi-Wan's hand. "I'm merely saying that I will not mind where you take your fill, Obi-Wan. I won't expect anything from you but your presence."

He was still affected by the song Obi-Wan's presence sang, the outward signs a mix of looking high and aroused.

And Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose as he realized exactly what Sidious might want him for. The Sith had sometimes kept Stewjoni not simply as weapons, but as sex slaves. He could technically make Sidious feel like this whenever he wanted, without feeding, as long as he himself had the energy. Whatever research Sidious had done, it must have included that.

"A pet kept for your pleasure, then?"

"You're more than that, though I admit I do want that from you. This from you." He waved his hand, encompassing the room, as if the song was truly a physical thing. "Is it so hard to believe that someone would want you for your body and your mind?"

Yes, he almost said, caught off guard as he was. No one who knew what he was ever considered both, even his own troops had often thought of him as a person in spite of being a Stewjoni, when they'd found out.

"What would you make me, then, if not your pet and not your hunter?"

Sidious smile was deceptively warm and the Darkness in the room seemed to thicken even more, making Obi-Wan feel slightly dizzy. "My consort, perhaps?"

"In name?" he managed, his surprise sure to be showing.

"You would have authority along with the position. Not enough to override myself, of course, but you would be...a close advisor."

"I've never wanted power. You know that," he was sure Sidious knew that, "so what are you really bribing me with?"

Again, he saw Sidious' pleasure at his understanding of the situation and he almost wished to take it back, to pretend he didn't have enough of a grasp of what was happening. "Not all of the Jedi at the Temple were killed." The self-satisfied tone made Obi-Wan brace himself. "Some of the younglings survived."

He felt himself waver at the thought--he'd always had a soft place in his heart for children. But to be used by a Sith, to give into one, the one who had been responsible for so much suffering...could he?

Obi-Wan stared at Sidious, narrowing his eyes. After a long, drawn out moment, he turned off his lightsaber and tucked it back into his belt.

If he fought and lost, what little hope of stopping Sidious within the next few years might go with him. He'd gone undercover before, had always been considered a stellar actor. He could do this, could let Sidious think he'd won, and bide his time.

Intelligent prey needed to be stalked and studied, sometimes, before the attack.

xxxxxx

A/N: This was written very late at night so there might be some extra typos lol

This was inspired by kj_feybarn's comment on Breathe In With Hunger about what Sidious might have been able to do to Obi-Wan lol

[starwarsfic]

II.6

Originally posted September 24, 2020

Summary: Vader gets a second chance to make things perfect.

Details: Sequel to I.14. Dark disaster lineage time travel AU.

xxxxxx

Vader remembered what it felt like to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi. That fleeting moment of triumph, of completion, before the gaping maw of loneliness hit.

He'd thought he'd been alone, as surrounded as he was by sycophants and Sith, but it wasn't until the tattered space that had once been his training bond with Obi-Wan finally finished tearing away that he knew the truth.

Finding out that Obi-Wan hadn't replaced him, not with a new Padawan and not as the father to his son, had only made it worse. Had there been an Anakin-shaped hole in Obi-Wan's life that he'd never filled? Never even tried to fill, knowing no one could ever be what Anakin had been to him?

Vader thought so. It was the same, as much as he did not want to admit it, for himself.

This unexpected second chance with Obi-Wan already in it was proof enough of that--the Force had always favored Vader and now it was giving him back his Obi-Wan, already trained to ignore signs of Darkness in supposed-Jedi by his worthless "Master" and Dooku.

The plans he'd started when he woke up on Tatooine had to be adjusted for the fact he wasn't alone, that Xanatos and Dooku had already had decades in the Order to prepare their own, worthless plans. That they'd already had Obi-Wan.

He could only be thankful they hadn't touched Padme. She was secure again on Naboo, with just the right amount of Force suggestions to keep her safe. Her handmaidens wouldn't even notice the regular comms they sent him on her status.

This time, he wouldn't lose Padme or Obi-Wan. Sidious and the Jedi would fall and the Empire would be theirs.

***

A second life as Obi-Wan's Padawan, once more, was an odd experience. He didn't ever resent this Obi-Wan for not being Qui-Gon (a truly pathetic figure in this lifetime, perhaps even in the last) and he could now see all the ways he was perhaps unappreciative of the Obi-Wan he'd first known.

This Obi-Wan's life was so much easier, fully supported by a Master, having taken a Padawan that wasn't like a slap in the Council's face. He wasn't the exhausted, overworked Knight that Vader had known.

Another reason that the Order needed to go, if only Sith could take care of their greatest member.

Despite being raised by Sith, Obi-Wan was still as caring as he had been. Gentle in his affections and attempts to reach out to Vader in ways that his past self--Anakin, for want of a better way to differentiate them--hadn't fully appreciated. Now Vader found he wanted nothing more than that. No awkward, overly emotional Master, just the soft smiles mostly found in Obi-Wan's eyes and over their bond.

This was love, he knew, even if he'd thought otherwise once. This was the sort of attachment that would keep a Jedi Master from killing a Sith who had murdered his family.

They didn't need Naboo or Qui-Gon's death to forge it. Obi-Wan was made to be Vader's Jedi Master, he could never be anything else.

***

Life went on as his plans slowly unfolded.

Vader played Sidious' game, pretending at being a naive Jedi Padawan who he could manipulate and corrupt.

He sowed dissent in the Order with well placed words and actions, sometimes using Dooku to influence mission assignments (at least the man had some worth).

Eventually, when he was old enough she wouldn't consider him a child anymore, he reconnected with Padme as well. It was easy enough to do, with all the information he had on her movements, and he made sure to eventually bring Obi-Wan along so they could forge a friendship. It was a connection for Obi-Wan he could actually approve of.

And when it was just the three of them...he started to feel more like Anakin, some of the vast weight of the decades lifting off of his shoulders. This was how it was always meant to be, before outside interference stole it from him.

When he'd usurped Sidious' plans, when the Empire was his, nothing would stop them from being together.

xxxxxx

This is a sequel to Chapter 14 of Part I, dedicated to Echo in exchange for the bribe of this absolutely adorable Obi-Wan art haha Not as cutesy as I'd originally intended, so another part in this verse may be coming soon.

[starwarsfic]

II.3

Originally posted September 21, 2020

Summary: Obi-Wan takes part in one last fight to bring down Vader.

Details: Obi-Wan didn’t go to Mustafar/more of the Order survived AU

xxxxxx

Obi-Wan hadn't wanted to go along with this plan. Since the end of the war and the decimation of the Order, he'd grown more cautious than he'd ever been.

But he knew he couldn't not join the others when they finally had a good chance to strike at Vader. And he knew he deserved the recriminations hurled at him as the fight went badly and the Knights and Masters who'd joined were picked off by Vader and his troopers.

"The Council never should have trusted you with a Padawan, Kenobi," one of the nearby Knights hissed, the words still seeming loud in a battlefield punctuated mostly by the clash of lightsabers and the soft groans of the dying. "You never passed a real trial, they just pitied you. They should have known anyone you'd train would Fall."

Obi-Wan didn't reply, the words were nothing he hadn't thought, himself. And none of the others spoke up to defend him, only further confirming it.

Except, it wasn't just Jedi, and suddenly Vader was fighting towards them with greater fervor.

"You have no right to speak of Kenobi like that," Vader hissed, looming over them. "He was a better Master than any of you could be."

Which was, Obi-Wan thought as he stared at the Sith in shock, the most Anakin of things--he'd blamed Obi-Wan for much of what he'd done every time they'd met since Sidious had taken over the Republic, but he had always seen criticizing Obi-Wan as his privilege that no one else deserved.

"You're a fucking Sith!" the Knight managed, having a hard time, even with help, fending off Vader's powerful strikes. "He raised a Sith!"

"He raised me the best he could! If he'd gotten any help from the rest of you while he was struggling to be a new Knight with a Padawan with no Initiate training!"

Maybe the words shouldn't affect Obi-Wan as much as they did, especially when Vader was his enemy and currently slaughtering his way through ten of the remaining Jedi, but...but they did.

How long had it been just he and Anakin against the world? With so little support and so many criticisms? He'd tried to shield Anakin from it as much as he could, but he was too smart and too intuned to the Force not to notice.

When that Knight fell to Vader's next strike, it was Obi-Wan's turn to lock blades, realizing horribly that he was the last one left in fighting condition (and the troopers were going through the others, delivering killing blasts to anyone left alive).

"The last time we met, you would have agreed with them," he pointed out, shifting around the space they occupied to make Vader have to move, have to constantly change his footing and lose some of the strength behind his strikes.

Vader narrowed Sith-yellow eyes at him. "You played your part, Kenobi. But they failed you, first."

He realized, belatedly, that Vader wasn't trying to kill him. Every move he made was orchestrated to push Obi-Wan to the position he wanted them to be in--and it was only as a tremor in the Force had him jumping backwards--and into the hanger of a ship--that he realized how distracted he'd been.

"I won't allow them to use you any longer. To stifle your potential and try to destroy your feelings."

"What? Anak--" he cut himself off, wincing at his slip.

Vader didn't get angrier, though, at the near-use of his old name. He smirked and moved closer, crowding Obi-Wan into the ship, where the troopers waited with blasters a quick check in the Force showed were set to stun.

"It's surprisingly easy to draw Jedi out of hiding with the right information slipped to the wrong people," his tone was almost teasing, making Obi-Wan shiver from the dissonance of something so familiar coming from the Sith. "Even if it's a little harder to guarantee the presence of specific ones."

His presence, Dark and feral, was crawling around Obi-Wan, trying to twine with his own along the edges.

"... You went through all of this just to kill me?"

Vader scoffed. "You're mine, Obi-Wan, you always were, from the moment Qui-Gon gave you to me. I just needed to reclaim you."

He should have fought, he realized. He should have done as Yoda wanted and confronted Anakin at the beginning--at the end. Instead of fleeing with the others, letting him gather strength and learn to wield the Darkside.

As talented as Obi-Wan was, he feared he was no match for Vader.

"I don't belong to anyone, I'm a person, not a slave," he bit out, hoping to get through to Anakin.

Instead, Vader's anger thickened. "You're my family. All that's left of it," Obi-Wan was proud of himself for not giving anything away at that, "and you belong at my side."

"Your side? How does your new master feel about that?"

He hadn't thought Vader could feel angrier. "Palpatine is a fool using others' work to gain power. It will be child's play to take it from him, to remake the Empire into my own." He crowded close and Obi-Wan's instincts battered at him and he didn't know whether to fight or stay his hand, so he simply froze. "We can do so much better. We will do better."

The hangar doors closed, the surviving troopers having filed in, and Obi-Wan had a bad feeling about just how far Vader would be going to get his cooperation.

[starwarsfic]

Odious.16

Originally posted September 20, 2020

Summary: Anakin forces Sidious to consider Obi-Wan in a new light.

Details: Sidious/Obi-Wan. A non-cracky sequel to I.27.

xxxxxx

Sidious supposed it was good luck that Anakin was awful at reading others, because when he'd been absolutely infuriated by Kenobi and Anakin had assumed he was attracted to him--it was almost too much not to break his facade.

Instead, he had to go along with it, acting like he had some pathetic school boy crush on the most insufferable Jedi he had to spend time around. And then spend more time around him, still, because Anakin thought he was doing them both a favor.

He killed an acolyte after that first "date," unable to contain his rage any longer. After that, the sniveling cowards tended to avoid him when he came home, as if that would somehow protect them.

If he had been less self-aware, he may have continued to believe he despised his time around Kenobi. However, knowing himself and his own motivations was part of being a Sith Lord, and dissecting his emotions during each luncheon with Kenobi was...telling.

He'd never actually spent much time with any of the Jedi (besides Anakin, who barely counted) outside of a work setting, but he didn't think any of them would be like Kenobi. He was intelligent, charming, sarcastic...when Sidious tested the waters by making a mildly disparaging remark about the Jedi Council, Kenobi had been right there with him, a sardonic slant to his eyes as he commiserated.

After five more dates, Sidious admitted he...didn't entirely hate Kenobi. Was spending time thinking up new places to go or sights to see with him while the position of Supreme Chancellor largely kept him on Coruscant. Obi-Wan's interests were far more diverse than Anakin's, some even including hobbies that Sidious actually enjoyed.

It also pleased him that the mood he was in after his dates was so unnerving to his acolytes. One had to find amusement where they could, while at the head of a centuries-long plot.

"Truthfully, I went along with this to appease Anakin," Obi-Wan confessed a few months after their relationship had started, "and I'm not looking forward to how smug he will be over being right. However...I am glad we gave each other a chance, Sheev."

"As am I," Sidious had easily agreed, reaching across the narrow space between their chairs in the private box they sat in, lacing his fingers through Obi-Wan's.

Love was not a particularly Sithly emotion, but passion was, and Sidious knew they would get their soon enough. It was not only his teachings that had left Anakin so wonderfully close to Falling, after all.

As the war started to swing in the Republic's favor, he picked up the pace in their relationship, inviting Obi-Wan to spend various nights at his home, setting aside a place for him to keep changes of clothing and personal affects. Sidious decided that directly using the Force against Obi-Wan might be too much of a risk, but the subtle Dark tides of his home and the artifacts hidden there would help increase his influence, even if they wouldn't have such strong effects as potions and spells might.

Late at night, often just before Obi-Wan was sent back out to battle (which was happening less often due to Sidious' manipulations of the Senate battle plans), they spoke of what their lives might be like, after. Obi-Wan admitted he thought he was only allowed this relationship because of the war, once it was won he'd either need to leave Sidious or leave the Order.

Sidious found it hilarious, though he never showed that. No, Obi-Wan would have no choice--there would be no Order after the war, only Sidious.

[starwarsfic]

Odious.6

Originally posted August 16, 2020

Summary: Sidious deep in thought. 

Details: Sidious/Obi-Wan.

CW: Dubious consent.

xxxxxx

Sidious stared down at the Jedi still sleeping in his bed, pondering how he'd gotten to this point.

He'd just wanted power over the frustrating Jedi, who always seemed, no matter what he did, to ruin all of his plots. He'd wanted something to use to drive another wedge between his future apprentice and the Jedi who was his temporary Master.

The Force had provided him an opportunity, the Jedi needing a favor from the Chancellor, from his Padawan's friend. But now Sidious could appreciate that it wasn't so he could destroy the Jedi--the Force had brought Sidious a companion.

Obi-Wan was intelligent, in a clever way that appealed to Sidious on a primal level. He was, of course, quite good looking. And very good in bed. Their shared hobbies were ones Sidious actually enjoyed, not simply the ones he kept to manipulate Anakin or some of the Senators.

If he weren't so disgustingly Light, he'd be...perfect.

As a Sith, Sidious was well-aware that Obi-Wan did not have to stay Light. He'd be harder to push into a Fall than Skywalker, but that didn't mean much. And once Obi-Wan's beloved Padawan was a Sith, it would be easier to seduce him onto the correct path.

Until then, Sidious could still bask in his presence, especially here in his own home. The Jedi might not be able to sense the Darkness there, the Force too clouded and the magic too strong, but that didn't mean it didn't affect them. Didn't affect Obi-Wan. His Light was all-but smothered while he slept and it was so easy to whisper thoughts and feelings into his mind.

Obi-Wan didn't even notice how fast their relationship had moved. How strongly he felt for Sidious after just a few months.

And as fun as those suggestions were to plant, Sidious found even more enjoyment in the slow building distrust for the Council and the other Jedi that he was creating in Obi-Wan. With Anakin unknowingly assisting every step of the way.

Reluctantly, he finished dressing and moved back to the bed, kissing Obi-Wan awake. Someday, there would be no Jedi for his lover to leave for, no schedules that Sidious didn't control that had to be adhered to.

Someday soon, at the rate the war was going and how well Anakin was turning out.

[starwarsfic]

I.27

Originally posted August 8, 2020

Summary: Anakin just wants his two best friends to be happy.

Details: Sidious/Obi-Wan. Crack.

xxxxxx

It started with Anakin noticing a faint flush on Sheev's cheeks after Obi-Wan took his leave of their official meeting to allow Anakin and his friend to chat unofficially.

He stared, knowing it was rude but not really caring.

"Do you...do you like Master Obi-Wan?" He was torn, halfway between disgust and glee.

Sheev, of course, tried to deny it, but even with the Force as cloudy as it was on Coruscant, Anakin could see the lie. And even after he'd let Sheev more the conversation onto some other topic, he dwelt on what he now knew about his friend.

***

Obi-Wan was, Anakin supposed, attractive. If stuffy men pushing forty was one's type.

Padmé insisted (to the point of Anakin honestly being a little concerned) that Obi-Wan was very attractive. She even made him look at posts on the Holonet of people swooning over him (how is that appropriate, Padmé? How do you even know about that???).

And, okay, so Anakin could understand it--Obi-Wan was charming, he was fit, he somehow made beige look almost good. He was smart, competent, had a great mind for politics.

Obviously someone like Sheev was going to be into that. Into him. Anakin's Master.

***

The things Anakin knew about Obi-Wan and relationships could be counted on one hand, probably. He knew (horrifically) that he slept with Vos sometimes (Vos delighted in letting him know that). He'd had a few girls he'd liked, too, growing up (or at least that's what Earin had said).

He flirted with nearly everyone, but...did seem to also really like competent people best. Even if he didn't necessarily like them as people or like what they did.

Which was good, because Anakin knew Obi-Wan really, really didn't like politicians (except Padmé, of course, because everyone liked her...and there was Organa, who he also suspected him of sleeping with, and ew he had to stop thinking about his master and sex because then he'll be thinking of Sheev and sex and no).

So, even though he didn't like what Sheev did, he could look past it by seeing who Sheev was. And that was a really good person who wanted the best for the Republic, just like Obi-Wan did. And who was competent and maybe sometimes manipulative, but for people's own good, also like Obi-Wan.

Actually, now that Anakin thought about it, they'd be...kind of perfect together?

*** Except for the whole Jedi thing, he reluctantly remembered, eventually.

Just because Padmé was okay with a secret marriage, didn't mean Sheev would be. And Obi-Wan was really into being a Jedi (could Anakin claim that was an attachment and he had to stop loving being a Jedi so much to be a better Jedi?).

Still, Anakin was in a relationship. And he knew Aayla was. And he figured a few others were, too. Which meant Obi-Wan technically could be.

Should be.

With Sheev.

Who was perfect for him and could maybe actually make him happy and take away some of that sadness that Obi-Wan's eyes showed when he thought no one was looking.

***

The first step in Anakin's plan (which had been a one step plan consisting of locking them in a room together until they realized they should date, but Padmé insisted it needed more steps) was to have them start seeing each other socially.

So, even though he loved his personal time with his friend, he started inviting Obi-Wan to his activities with Sheev.

Obi-Wan was really confused, and tried to back out, but when Anakin had stated it was a fancy lunch and reservations had already been made for the three of them, Obi-Wan was too polite to not go.

It was hard for Anakin not to take up the whole conversation, but he tried. On Sabé's advice he'd set his chrono to vibrate every five minutes to remind him, if he'd been talking for awhile, to get Obi-Wan to talk some.

Sheev caught on quickly, though he did have a little more information than Obi-Wan and way more motivation, and helped. Soon he and Obi-Wan were actually almost relaxing and talking about some weird political function that they'd both been forced to attend annually before the war or something.

Four "dates" in and Anakin was starting to get a little jealous, because they were focusing so much on each other and it took setting his chrono to buzz every minute to keep from drawing their attention back to him.

It was for a good cause.

*** Eventually, they started making plans by themselves and Anakin was giddy to think about what they could be doing (and disgusted, also, but they always seemed to be in public so he was able to ignore that).

They did a bunch of stuff that Anakin and Sheev had never done (and Anakin and Obi-Wan had only done when Anakin was much younger and didn't know how to assert his own interests more). Like going to museums. And poetry readings. And operas.

It was all, Padmé insisted, giving Anakin a hard look he couldn't interpret, very romantic.

That was good. Sheev and Obi-Wan could both clearly use some romance in their lives.

***

According to Rabé, the Holonet was rife with rumors about Sheev and Obi-Wan, and no one took them seriously because of that. She was almost certain Sheev's PR people were the ones causing the more ridiculous rumors to offset the reasonable ones, which Anakin could agree sounded like something they'd do.

Finally, Anakin decided it had been going on long enough, and he "casually" asked Obi-Wan about it.

Maybe asking in the middle of a battle wasn't the greatest timing, but seeing his former Master nearly drop his lightsaber and have to stumble out of the way of some blaster bolts was pretty funny.

It's not like that cloak would have lasted long, anyway.

They had a long conversation (in length of time, because Obi-Wan spent long stretches of it silently sipping from a cup of tea and pretending Anakin hadn't just said something) about Sheev and Obi-Wan finally admitted that, yes, actually, Sheev was very nice and he did enjoy his company.

And then, because it was Obi-Wan and he couldn't appreciate all the things Anakin had done for him, he smirked and started talking about how good Sheev was in bed and then Anakin might have fallen and hit his head.

Regardless, it was nothing some bacta couldn't fix and a few Force techniques that let him repress, repress, repress a memory he really didn't want.

***

Finding out that Sheev was the Sith Master was...okay, so, maybe Anakin had a few hints over the years, but no one could really blame him for missing it! This was even more unexpected than finding out Mace Windu had a sense of humor (which he still didn't entirely believe)!

And, you know what, Sheev was kind of right, wasn't he? It was treason for the Jedi to just walk in there and try to hurt him. He might be a Sith Lord, but he was still the Supreme Chancellor!

And Anakin's friend! And maybe sorta brother-in-law if Obi-Wan got over all this.

***

Obi-Wan, thankfully, was just restrained by his men and not caught up in the executions that were happening all over the Jedi. But of course he was, he'd never have any part in treason.

When Anakin asked Sheev about that, he was assured that Obi-Wan would be fine. After all, Sheev did find his company refreshing and once Obi-Wan saw reason and fell to the Darkside he'd make a really good consort.

Sheev also maybe said something about the sex, maybe, but Anakin definitely couldn't hear that over the screaming of the Initiates, thankfully.