analyze disloyal order pls :)
Ahh this one is a big one... Very happy to analyze it though!! Lets dig into it!!!: (typical disclaimer: I try to not make my lyric analyses/interpretations too personal to the artist bc truly Idk what the fuck Pete was going thru when he wrote this, so I'm trying to look at it from a storytelling/theme perspective but with some songs, like this one, that’s hard blah blah blah thank u <3):
So, just as a brief overview, this song is Very much summed up in the first line, “I’m coming apart at the seams”. It’s a breakdown, written out and put to music. The degradation of the narrators life/mental state, in my view, at least. And also other’s perception of things like a breakdown. As I said, the first lyric can sum up the entire song Pretty nicely, but lets explore that lyric itself a bit more: "I'm coming apart at the seams / Pitching myself for leads in other people's dreams", fob lyrics aren’t often self-explanatory at all, and many in this song Aren’t... However... I feel this one can be interpreted as pretty straightforward, no? The narrator feels like they’re fall apart, their life is unraveling before them, and they just wish they could be somebody else, anybody else, at this point, as their own dreams and life are Not working out. (If you wanted to try and connect the dots to Pete’s life, well... This was supposedly written at a low point for fob and Pete himself... Life as he knew it was falling apart and he wanted to be someone else, perhaps...)
“Doc, there's a hole where something was / Doc, there's a hole where something was”, now, for this lyric Pete annotated on genius saying ‘I am forever having doctors analyze me for problems I do not have’ which is... a Lot. And another direction I could go entirely for this analysis and this lyric specifically... There’s something to be said for doctor’s not listening to their patients, not believing them about what a Real problem might be, if you wanted to take this lyric literally with what Pete annotated in mind... which would tie into the theme of the song, falling apart, a breakdown... the doctor is trying to diagnose an illness or problem when it’s just... this person’s life falling apart. Dreams dying. However, that IS what I interpret this lyric as saying more than something super literal like doctor’s sucking at their jobs lmao. There’s something missing, this narrator’s dream(s) are Dying and they’re breaking down about it and trying to Fix it... but that’s not something a doctor can fix, is it?
“Fell out of bed, butterfly bandage, but don't worry / You'll never remember, your head is far too blurry” So! This is where the song Really starts to pick up, tempo wise and lyrics wise. ‘Fell out bed’, I feel, is not to be taken literally, more like... You had a bad start to a bad day, or are having a rough week/month/year, are damaged (emotionally) But! No big deal! Just solve it temporarily! Slap a butterfly bandage over it, something that is an impermanent fix to Much more (possibly) permeant problems. Supplement your emotional state with things that make you forget the pain, things that make your head blurry, and make you go Crazier in the end (alcohol... drugs... sex... nefarious things are implied)
“Put him in the back of a squad car, restrain that man / He needs his head put through a CAT scan” is where the parts of perception come in more, though the ‘doctor’ from the line before, of course, has Their own perception of the situation (breakdown), this lyric displays that even more. Pete, in the genius annotations, say this is based on a true story which is, again, a Lot to think about?? Pete :(?? Anyways! I believe this very much shows the way police officers will brush off people in times of crisis, mentally ill people specifically in this case, and treat them without care. They just perceive them as crazy, undeserving of respect... should just be restrained and thrown in the squad car in their time of need. Versus doctor’s viewing mentally ill people as people that just need to be analyzed and Studied to be taken care of... they just need to be ran through CAT scans and MRI’s and doctor’s NEED to figure out what’s wrong, not Actually help the patient in need. So, our narrator, this person Obviously going through something Already with dead dreams and a blurry head is now getting bereted from Two sides: The police and doctor’s in the literal sense of the song, but there is Also this ugly dichotomy in society too.
“Hey editor, I'm undeniable / Hey Doctor, I'm certifiable” is another relatively straightforward line? I think? It’s just saying, especially in respect to Fame (’cause Pete’s famous... and it is Very hard to ignore that in this lyric and song in general), that the narrator feels they deserve to be in the spotlight and Seen and Need that attention but also know that they are Not doing well. They are not in a good state and are certifiably mentally ill. But they’re also craving attention. Attention to their mental illness, perhaps? Either in a truly attention-seeker way Or as more of a cry for help? Who’s to say.
“Oh, I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine / What a match, I'm half-doomed, and you're semi-sweet” so... this is the lyric where the interesting dynamic of this song Possibly being a love song? Or... To someone, I suppose? As until this point it seems the narrator is only referring to themself but suddenly they’re referencing another person. I don’t quite feel there’s enough substance to that to make the entire analysis around it, but it Is worth pointing out, that there could easily be someone beside the narrator this whole time, trying to keep them together, maybe? I digress.. anyways... The narrator shows once again that they feel they’re falling apart, this time as a part of a machine... Perhaps that ‘machine’ reference could be society (or a relationship 👀), where they feel they’re falling apart so much so that they don’t feel a complete part of society anymore. They feel like they’re just a loose bolt in society, trying to help everything run, and not doing a good job. The next lyric, Pete says in genius annotations is, ‘sometimes about a girl’ but ‘honestly sometimes about Patrick’ which is just... yeah. He feels this person (a girl or Patrick) is a ‘match’ for him, though it’s almost said sarcastically? But just, like, the vibe I get from these lyrics together is that the narrator relies on this person, even if they feel they are not right for them and that they Aren’t actually a perfect match.
“So boycott love, detox just to retox / And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life” now the relationship-related aspects of this song play into these lyrics a bit more, the narrator feels So wronged by love (and life too, I think) that they feel the need to write it off completely... even though they know they’re just going to go back to it. Like a drug. And want another shot at it, love or life... the lyric says life, which I wholeheartedly feel matches the theme of the song More- Perhaps this lyric is aimed at the love interest, or the narrator, but either way? Another chance at living life and accomplishing dreams is Wanted, it’s Needed in this song sorely for the narrator specifically. They’re giving up on love, just to go back to it, and are desperate for another shot at everything. To try it all again and not feel like a failure, an outcast... a broken member of society.
“And perfect boys with their perfect lives / Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy” this all just, like, perfectly sums up the themes of the song too, honestly. The narrator is clearly jealous of these people that they deem perfect, they want a shot at That life, a perfect one. But nobody wants to hear the narrators woes... because, perhaps, the narrator is seen as someone with a perfect life (if we brought Pete back into this... I very much feel that is true for him. He’s rich and famous so shouldn’t have any problems. No one wants to hear a rich person complain about life.) or the narrator just Feels like nobody cares. They perceive that no one is listening or wants to actually help them... as no one, up till now, has shown that they want to.
“Little girl, got me staring odd / Or was that just a telescopic camera nod”.... I am going to be completely honest... Not too sure what this means lmao. I’ve thought about it a lot! It’s just... it’s not coming together for me in my mind? I feel this could Easily be about perception again, as telescopic camera lenses increase focal length even though the lens itself is shorter than the focal length? So perhaps the narrator is ‘staring odd’ because his perception of life is off, because of what he’s going through.
“P-p-painted dolls in the highway, truck stop stalls / Lot lizards scales cool my nightlife moods” these lyrics are undeniably about prostitutes'/prostitution, to start off bluntly. The narrator is, well, seeking things to make them forget their problems, right? As I stated earlier, sex could easily be one of those things. They’re seeking a warm body to lay with that’ll ease the pain and damage done by a past lover and their life falling apart in general.
“All the rookies, leave your badge and your gun on the desk / When you leave the room” like the telescopic camera nod lyric, this one is a Bit confounding, however... I feel it could just be referencing how the narrator feels untrusted. As the lyric, in a literal sense, is saying that a head officer(?) is requesting the rookies to leave their badge, a sign of status and honor, and gun, protection and another sign of status tbh, on the desk before leaving. They don’t get to keep those things, as they likely aren’t trusted with them. With our narrator, because of the state they are in, they don’t seem to Feel like they’re trusted. They’re falling apart, after all, a loose bolt in the machine that is society. They don’t feel they deserve something to show status or honor, or at least, doesn’t think that Society thinks they deserve this... even if They themselves feel differently (which, given the ‘editor, I’m certifiable’ line earlier? I feel the narrator Does believe they deserve trust and status and honor despite what they’re going through.)
The rest of the song just repeats the chorus several times and reinforces what I said about those lyrics- Giving up on love just to go back to it, and feeling like they deserve another chance at hopes and dreams, in a different life. Overall, this song is just what I said it was in the beginning- the degradation of one’s life put to music. It is insanely depressing, especially the longer you think about it all. The narrator feels like they aren’t trusted, that no one is in their corner, they’ve been unlucky in love and life, and just want another chance. They just seem to want someone to care and listen to them and be a match to them. But they don’t have that, or at least, they don’t feel they have that. They just have people perceiving their life and situation incorrectly, while on the inside they feel like they’re absolutely being torn apart.
