“Today in the year X26 of Edustrialization, we bring you to the News of what Parasites* should never do. It's been brought to the attention of the Authority that another full-blood Parasite has been born through the acts of Adultery. The 26 year old Parasite married Mr. ____, a highly respectable member of the authority. He had been off without telling the Parasite for five years. As the Parasite woman claims on today’s news, ‘He left without a word for five years, I thought he had died’. The Parasite baby had been born a week prior to this announcement, and will be taken into custody by the Authority until further notice. If the Parasites have listened to the news these past few decades, it is clearly noted that any relations between Parasite and Parasite are not allowed. This act of crime will be heavily punished in the name of Erin & his loyal Authority. The Parasite woman will be taken into custody next Friday after an ex AI nation. No further punishment will be taken upon the father of the Parasite baby until we confirm his story.” - Aaron E. Sullivan, publicist for the Edustrialization.