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The Intern Theory

The Interns. They seem to be a bunch of faceless, sometimes nameless group of people that only seemed to be mentioned by Cecil when they die. Very few survive for more than one episode and mostly seem to be a slight comical running gag to add into the show. However, after listening to Cassettes a couple more times, I've come to a different theory.

Cecil was an intern when he was fifteen. He had taken up being an intern because he wanted to learn what it was like to be a radio host. He was supposed to replace the old radio host, Leonard Burton—he had to, and there was no discussion about it. So why would he take up such a dangerous job that would most likely result in his demise, and therefore no radio host? Somebody must have been protecting him to ensure that that would not happen. Who would be there to do such a thing? Station Management.

I feel as though Station Management is like the StrexCorp of radio: always there, mostly unseen, controlling everything, and everyone knows who is behind it, but no one acknowledges it. Obviously Station Management has to be aware that the interns are dying. They just don't care enough to try to put a stop to it. A few lives lost doesn't matter to them as long as their radio is running smoothly.

Interns are dead weight because they can always be replaced. Radio hosts are not. They must be programmed and rewired and re-educated when there's a glitch and they start thinking for themselves (see my theory on Fey's Metaphorical Meaning). If Cecil was going to be destined to play the role as Leonard's replacement, then they were going to have to make sure that he doesn't die, and he was protected by Station Management to make sure that happens. All other interns didn't matter and they were left to their own devices and all of them eventually died out.