#thepenguingoddessupdate

[whiskey-nature]

HEY GUYS.

I'm going to change my url to tierffany soon. Just letting you guys know!

[whiskey-nature]

Why I was sobbing.

So this is what happened. I was talking to my instructor at BC and she was saying how I act so much older than I am, and how I don't really get along with the people at BC because I act so mature. Then she said "oh I bet you get along with everyone when you do musicals." Then I told her why I do driftwood, how no one my age even gives two shits about me. I started crying. People my age are just rude to me. I try and talk to them and they shove me off. The only friends I have are in their 30's or older, and there's only three of them. Driftwood is my comfort place to get away from these teens. It scares me that more of these teens want to do driftwood and I broke down even more, because in my mind it's like the neighbor walking into your house without an invitation. But, now after talking to Steven, I feel better about it. I am a bit more prepared for like two or three of these teens to really get involved, but I'll still feel uncomfortable. It also doesn't help I went to the theater in a huge sobbing mess.

[whiskey-nature]

Four gamers, three of them are aspiring voice actors, just had around a five hour conversation that included stories, laughter, and falling on the ground that we were laughing so hard. Needless to say, it's been a great night. 

[whiskey-nature]

I’m sick of crying. I’m sick of doing the same thing every day. I want to be happy. I want to stop being sad&alone.

[whiskey-nature]

Can things just go the way I want them to for once?????

[whiskey-nature]

I guess I'm just going to cry about everything til I fall asleep. Night, guys.

[whiskey-nature]

I can't stand people my age. I just can't. I try to be their friend& I get rejected, pushed off, ignored. I'd rather be with people that are older than me. They actually take the time to listen and enjoy me for who I am. That's why I don't really do a lot od the musicals around here anyone, the people my age make cliques and I sit around like a potato and have no one to talk to.  But at the Driftwood... I'm so much happier. I love it there. 

[whiskey-nature]

I'm going to do a juice cleanse again. I felt great the last time I did it, plus I wouldn't mind losing a few pounds. I'm thinking of doing it for a month like last time.