I get to marry my best friend in 12 days. 12 DAYS. It’s coming up <3 Didn’t think I’d be here so soon. It’s insane the way things have happened. Like really. Little things in life pass you by if you don’t stop to smell the roses. Now I understand what that phrase means - atleast the way I can interpret it right now. I received confirmation from God that Justin was the one. I know how dumb, or crazy, or weird that sounds and I probably sound like some religious freak, but there was no doubt in my mind in that second. Justin said something to me that resonated right away and it was different than anything I have ever felt in my life. I do a lot of thinking and spend lots of time trying to figure out if what I’m doing is okay. Because of how I know when something is alright but not quite what it could be, I know that something else will be better and I have to trust. Like, Heavenly Father sees everything and He knows me so well, why wouldn’t I believe a feeling I get from Him. I always think if I decide myself and worked hard for it, it must be right. But that’s just not always how life works. And that’s something I had to learn these last couple years. I definitely didn’t initially think that Justin was the right guy for me. I actually thought he might be pretty far off because of how SO opposite we are. Like, we can’t have a conversation without getting confused. Do you know why that’s okay? We love each other and laugh and I can’t take that I can’t see inside his brain, but I want to spend every day getting to know it and even how he breathes. There is no one else in the world that I couldn’t do that with. Our days are very different, and the way we spend our time is different. It would be fun to be with someone like me, because it would be comfort to no end and I would learn a lot! BUT, not Nearly as much as what I actually NEED to learn to progress. I love him so much. Every time I would wonder if it was worth all the confusion, unnecessary crying over dumb little things and then making things better as soon as possible, I would immediately think, “Wait, but then I wouldn’t have him. There isn’t anyone I want to grow with, and wake up to. I want to wake up with Justin’s arms around me, even though my neck hurts from laying on them. I want to feel his lips on my forehead as I feel his brow burrow from wondering what he can say to improve something. I know we have a lot to work on and so does he, but I just can’t do life without him in it now. It’s just, that’s how it is now. He’s half of me and I won’t have it any other way. He’s the one I want to make brownies, breakfast, go shooting and golfing with, and go to the batting cages with. I want to camp with him beacuse everything else doesn’t exist - only he and I. Line upon line, precept upon precept is how we’ll build our relationship. I love Justin further than the moon, I don’t know if I’l ever get my lasso back.
When he asked me to marry him there was no doubt in my mind. When he said I was going to be his wife it felt like someone took a big soft blanket fresh out of the dryer and held it right above my head, and set it down on me. There has never been such a peaceful moment in my life as that.
AND SO, 12 days from now HOLY CRAP it just hit me again (we have a lot of stuff to do lol nooo) OUR JOURNEY REALLY BEGINS. <3