May 24, 2016
I cannot believe I've had this mess of a blog since 7th grade rip
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I cannot believe I've had this mess of a blog since 7th grade rip
I'm having a hard time with forgiveness. Can you give me your words that could help me to learn to let go?
Something I’ve learned about forgiveness, as hard as it might be, is that it doesn’t have anything to do with the person that hurt you. It has everything to do with yourself. Most prominently I am two things: 1) A brunette and 2) someone who has a hard time letting things go when I’m hurt. It’s something I struggle with – it’s something that anyone who has been hurt most likely struggles with. So you have an option here.
You can let what the person did to you make you become cold. Bitter. Distant. Pessimistic. You can give them enough power to shape your outlook on life or love or any situation that is tainted with something that reminds you of them and the bad taste their name left in your mouth. You can begin to treat the world like they treated you. You can hate with the same hate they introduced to you or you can become vindictive and cruel and seek revenge or bottle it up inside you where it lives under your ribcage or…
You can accept it. You can allow yourself to feel what you did, what you do, or what you no longer need to feel any longer. You can look it square in the face and say: This is what happened. I have no control over the fact they hurt me, but I can change how it manifests. It starts small too. You don’t just wake up one say and say, “I think I’m going to give the person who broke my heart a big hug.” But really, that’s what you are doing. Let them go because you have a life to move through without the thought of them weighing you down. Let them go because you deserve happiness. Let them go because you deserve to be surrounded by thoughts that whisper the names of the people who wronged you.
You will find forgiveness because it’s the only way you win. So many people think getting even or seeking revenge or getting the last word is the line chalked up on the chalkboard of you against that-one-person-who. But it’s not. Forgiveness doesn’t knock on the hateful person’s door and say “I’m weak for backing down! I am weak for giving in!” Forgiveness is finally letting that bottled up monster free. You have won.
Alright so: I love your blog and we both love Taylor Swift and I sound like one of those helpless annoying beggars because I actually am BUT I entered a contest to meet Taylor for my local radio station I was wondering if you could get the word out. Last reblogged thing of mine, all you have to do is click the link. If you could Reblog it to let your followers know, that would help a bunch! Thanks!!
go vote for her guys !! (:
Alright so: I love your blog and we both love Taylor Swift and I sound like one of those helpless annoying beggars because I actually am BUT I entered a contest to meet Taylor for my local radio station I was wondering if you could get the word out. Last reblogged thing of mine, all you have to do is click the link. If you could Reblog it to let your followers know, that would help a bunch! Thanks!!
sure bby :)
“Since childhood I’ve had a habit of counting things I’ve taught myself that there is exactly twelve steps down the stairs before my bare feet touch the cold tile on Christmas morning. There is exactly twelve steps I take in the opposing direction— which I count going up the stairs after being sent to my room. I’ve memorized the amount of insignificant things like the number of streetlights I pass and bricks on my house or the amount of sugar I put in my coffee, which is three tea spoons, by the way. More recently I’ve had the habit of counting things like the number of times you had talked to me which is the same number of times you made my heart race I’ve even counted the amount of times you took my breath away. There are exactly 34 steps up to your driveway and to your door A place I’ve been to been too many times And that is the same number of times you’ve kept me up because we’re both to selfish to say goodnight. I guess I’m the best counter even if it’s sometimes the harsh truth Like the amount of times you’ve gotten my hopes up or The amount of times You’ve said you’re sorry (17) and actually meant it (0) Don’t mess with a counter because she does not have time to waste Even though I’ve invested way too much into someone who doesn’t deserve it Because your effort has shown the only person I can’t seem to count on is you.”
If you’re going to love me I want you to mean it I want to know what it’s like Not for cliché love-at-first sight I want someone who feels like The words to my favorite songs Christmas morning Or watching home movies I want someone That feels like coming home I want introductions Your bright red cheeks And handshakes to my father I want see your closest family members Singing happy birthday to you around A cake with your name written in icing I want spontaneous Road trips with no where to go Driving in your car with the windows down Setting off fire works on the Fourth of July I want a collage Of undecided mornings that turn into memorable evenings But I want to take things slow too I want anticipation I want to become your best friend Someone I can talk to for hours To be the first person you call when you get accepted into the college you always dreamed of And I want you On the other end of the phone Reassuring me everything is going to be alright I want to know you better than I know myself I want to know why you got your scars Even if it’s the name of the first girl you loved Or why you don’t share the same ambitions your father has because you want to be there for your child’s elementary school graduation And where you picture yourself in Five, ten, twenty years I don’t want something perfect I want something passionate Maddening, intoxicating I want you to make me so mad that I can’t think straight I want someone who challenges me Someone who knows how to push my buttons just because They know what makes me tick I want someone to be a team But can accept my independence I want someone who I don’t want to live without But can accept that I could if I had to sustain myself I want someone who’s proud of me Even when I trip over my own two feet Or stumble over my words Or burn just about everything I bake Someone who can accept my faults And still loves every one of them Most importantly I want someone who loves me like I love them.
I. Yesterday you jokingly hit my shoulder and denied our companionship with a smirk. I responded with, “Well, I never said I wanted to be your friend.” You laughed and thought I was playing along, but didn’t understand the underlying honesty in the statement. II. I watched you swear off love after troublesome experiences with girls with lipstick stained smiles and narrow eyes. You tell me how you’ll never find what you’re looking for. I didn’t say how you might be overlooking her, but I reassured that you’d find her. III. You then asked me if I was interested in anyone. I said no. IV. Sometimes you say I know you better than you know yourself. You’ve shown me pieces of yourself that are broken and fragile. I can recite your memories like a best-selling children’s book. I told you advice, you tell me that you don’t know what you’d do without me. You tell me I’m a great friend. V. But friends don’t look at each other like the way that I look at you.
She was strength Because she knew how to be weak She knew when to cry And paint mascara down her face She was spring after winter And the winters following spring She was the calm before the storm And the storm itself She was fiercely independent But Hell She would’ve given just about anything to be by your side She was pretty But she was crooked She was naturally contagious And she was smart She was everything And you gave her nothing She was something different And that scared you She was strength Because she knew when to be weak She knew that in order to light a new path She must burn some old bridges She was so indecisive That you gave her no options Ignited into smoke; turned to dust but she remained untouched She was fiercely independent And Hell Did she look good standing alone.
You should’ve known