#thesmdiaries

[thesmdiaries]

Trap me

You can't trap me I won't allow it. I'll fight against you as hard as I can fight. I'll silence you in my mind. I'll blind myself from seeing through your eyes. -SM

[thesmdiaries]

Hopelessly

I miss your kisses. They are traveling through my mind. I can't stop it. I can't ignore it. They're taunting me. I feel a small touch; my eyes are closed. They open and I see stars -that part was real. I'm picking up pieces I remember to complete my thoughts. Soon I may forget, but for now I miss your kisses. I'm hopelessly fighting. -SM

[thesmdiaries]

Letters to me.

I’m back where I began. The only difference now is that i’m older and have had a small taste of a New York city life under my belt. I’m stuck between feeling accomplished and feeling like it just wasn't enough. I had been so confident in my life and suddenly so NOT. Transition, I found, in my life was difficult. I could never lose the sense of thinking that I was letting go of something instead of flowing to the next. I've come to a point where all I can think about is everyone else moving ahead. Like everyone else’s doors were opening except for mine and the more I tried to ignore it the more it played in my head. I felt as though my doors were moving further and further away from me and to find the right one I had to push one open, but which one was the right one. Better yet, which one was the right one for me? At this point I've lost sight of it. I had been chasing my dreams and it had been the most amazing feeling of all, but now my dreams were being faded away by reality. Ugh, reality, such a disgusting word to me. Who even knows what that is? I've always believed we lived in our own realities and those who tried to change it were just not meant to be a part of that reality. I guess I need to find my reality again. I’ll let you know if I find that.  -SM

[thesmdiaries]

Somehow

Send me your heart even if you’re a million miles away. Send me your strength, even if just for a moment, when I am close to the edge. Send me your touch so that when I close my eyes I can feel it. Believe it so that I can believe it too. Because in believing that, no matter if I am here and somewhere you’re there, I can be happy knowing that this is as real as we believe it to be. 

-SM

[thesmdiaries]

...

She was in her box. Her quiet silent box filled with only the noise she created. Filled with all the movement she generated. Filled with all of her crazy fanatical thoughts. There in her little box where she was free to be insane if she chose to be; there where she once regained her sanity. Alone yet with the best company.  There in her world where she lived. This was her escape. There in her little box where she was free to be insanely, well, her. -SM

[thesmdiaries]

Odd Smile

You stay there. 

There within the boundaries of my dreams.

You were as clear as day and as real as my touch. 

You haven’t changed, not one bit, but I didn’t expect you to. 

You were as real as that night and as true as my emotions.

 It was you.

 Right in front of me. 

 And I woke with an odd smile.

[thesmdiaries]

Personal

Im trying to feel personal with you. To feel that sense of comfort, but I cant seem to find it. I’m trying to push for it, trying to find it, trying to spark it. The flame is dim. Will you light it? Light it brighter than I could ever imagine… You have it, I can see it, could you make me feel it?  Stick with me through my search, if you'd like. Or leave it before it's too late. But if you want to try, I will try too.  And if I find it …   -SM

[thesmdiaries]

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