#theuglyfriend

[freespirit-rei]

“So are you his kids or does he just pick you guys up off the streets?”

Batgirl shrugged, “More like the other way around. I bought a knock off Robin suit from the Halloween store and found him and when he asked who I was I was like, Robin. So he said ‘Hi, Robin’ and brought me back to the Batcave and I haven’t left since. Though I had to give up the name because the real Robin is so prissy”

“Same for me,” Lark said, “I was in a Robin suit and leading a gang of other Robins about that time. I found him and he was in a kinda bad place so I told him to suit up or get out and he took me home. I think this is actually the standard way of getting into the family now.”

Billy squinted at them, “So… He’ll basically just take in anyone who asks?”

“Dude, he’ll adopt you so fast you won’t even know that your name changed to Captain Bat-son.”

-Everything I Do, I Do It Big by theuglyfriend

[freespirit-rei]

"So how many kids do you really have?"

"Ten."

"Ten?"

"Give or take."

"Ten?"

"..."

"How do you end up with ten kids?"

"It wasn't intentional."

-Everything I Do, I Do It Big (by theuglyfriend)

[freespirit-rei]

"Let me guess," Hal started, "He's your dad too?"

Red Hood looked at him for a long moment before smirking. "It depends on what fatherhood means to you. He literally kidnapped me off the streets and trained me to be one of his child soldiers if that's what you mean."

"What."

"I think he was suffering from empty nest syndrome since Dickingale left and he had no one to order around. So he picked up the next kid he saw and took me."

"..."

- Everything I Do, I Do It Big by theuglyfriend

[freespirit-rei]

"Talia Al Ghul?"

Batman looked remarkably similar to his son for a moment.

"Yes. She still sends childcare checks in the form of assassination attempts and the occasional bombing. Do you need that repeated as well or can we move onto matters of importance?"

- Everything I Do, I Do It Big by theuglyfriend

[freespirit-rei]

"So we met-"

"Stay out of Gotham."

"Your other kids."

"Stay out."

"How many more do you- hey, come back!"

- Everything I Do, I Do It Big (by theuglyfriend)

[freespirit-rei]

“Master Terrence has been waiting for you quite loudly, Master Bruce.”

“Bruce?” Clark asks softly, “Is… is he…?”

“He’s my youngest, Terry,” Bruce sighs as he picks up both Terry and a sandwich, “Terry say hello.”

“Huwwo!”

Clark carefully puts a hand on Bruce’s still armored shoulder, “You know you have my fullest respect and admiration. But, you have a problem.”

-Everything I Do, I Do It Big by theuglyfriend

[teenagevoidbearpalace]

I’m the ugly friend.

I’m so tired. I finally realized my place with my best friend and it’s that I’m the ugly friend. Everytime we spend time together she ends up flirting with some guy she’s never even met in real life or has already dated. Everytime we talk it’s like she has a new boyfriend. We both discovered tonight that she’s had four times the amount of boyfriends that I have in our time being best friends. She’s in perfect shape, no acne and if she gets any it’s gone the next day. She’s a cheerleader and super social. She has hundreds of followers on all of her social media accounts because random people think she’s beautiful and they tell her that in the comments. Don’t get me wrong, I love my best friend. It’s just so tiring hearing her talk about how she’s lonely because she hasn’t had a boyfriend in a week and how she needs to work out and wear pounds of makeup (that barely do anything, she’s just naturally that beautiful.) I wish looked how she did, makeup doesn’t even work for me I still look like shit. I wish I had her long brown hair and big, round eyes. I wish I had her flawless skin. I wish I weighed anywhere near her on the scale. I wish I could wear the expensive clothes she wears without looking too big. I wish I was the “cute awkward” like she is and not the “weird emo kid” in the class. I wish I had people falling at my feet like she does. I wish I could work out for more than three days before quitting. I wish I could play a sport (I’m more of a musician than a sporty type.) On one hand I do like myself the way I am. But I also realize how much happier I would be if I was her. I wish I was her. I wish I wasn’t the ugly friend who never takes selfies, never dates, who can’t even talk without screwing up. And it makes me so tired.

[danaalyss]

Have you heard of the Vodka Tampon experiment that the millennials have been using to get drunk? Well, Amanda did! If you were thinking of trying it - or even thinking how stupid it sounds - Amanda can help clear that up for you! Watch the newest episode of @theuglyfriendseries up on youtube - link in bio! Share, Like and Subscribe! #Theuglyfriend #theduff #Drinkinggames #BadDecisions #AwkwardMoments (at Los Angeles, California)