Aug 17, 2025
I've got confusing emotions I need to sort out.
Unfamiliar feelings i need to learn how to handle.
Now, tell me how
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I've got confusing emotions I need to sort out.
Unfamiliar feelings i need to learn how to handle.
Now, tell me how
was i really made for the gardens, when all of the places i've been going to are wars and chaos
Today i finally admitted something I never thought I would.
Turning 27, not only I am growing old, so is everyone else— my parents, our pets, our house, my friends. Time will come and everyone will outgrow something, even I, to the things i refuse to let go off.
I'm in that part of my life where I feel like I don't have anyone to lean to anymore...my best friends found their soulmate...The one I claim to be my soulmate has found their very own home and so now i am starting to notice, friends I wait for in our usual space no longer comes.
I feel lonely, confused, and somewhat angry. It's like they're not taking me with them in life and it's so tiring to be the one to keep reaching out. No one is inviting anymore. No one is lending their shoulders anymore. No one has the time to lend...and it's so fucking sad, to be in this point of adulthood...
And so i pray to God, that I too can find a home where I can lean on and let unnecessary feelings out without asking for permission to, without worrying if i am too much of a bother.
Because being strong while bottling emotions is starting to feel intoxicating.
Still looking for the clearest direction
living each fleeting day
oh these moments, none of them stayed
Do i really have to face this? Such horrible, terrible, and messy feelings
Avoiding happiness
because it's hasn't brought me any good
Even though I know spring will come, it still feels like this misery of being caged will follow me for the rest of my life.
Even though I know that 5 months from now, there's a possibility that I'll be laughing this moment of. But wow, at this very moment, it feels real—that I will be miserable and full of regrets in my lifetime
It feels real, and its scary