#thirteenohtoo

[detective-prince-bluebottle]

how to know when a fanfic is really good

you say “oh no...” every time you get the email about a new chapter and you’re filled with the worst mixture of dread and horror and yet an UNCONTROLLABLE eager desire to read it anyway

[detective-prince-bluebottle]

holy shit paige and cloud uploaded new stories literally within minutes of each other, is this what heaven is like?

[detective-prince-bluebottle]

1, 10, 23, 28. Vengeance is sweet, boyo.

FUCK I’VE BEEN COUNTER-ATTACKED

… oh shit i’m in trouble

1 - fuck why can’t i say none of them, uhhh how about alice because ashley green was hot and because bellice is an otp

10 - wait a minute what the fuck is this question?? my opinion is that death is scary but so’s life and i hate both

23 - mmmm i’m gonna say wolf but i hate how their thing is they run a hot temperature i fucking hate the heat, maybe a different type of animal shifter would be less of an oven plus i think i’d rather be a cat or a fox… anyway ofc i’d have to have a vampire imprint so if i do have to suffer with heat at least i’d have my own personal ice pack plus i may have a slightly nonsexual kink for vampires listening to their soulmate’s heartbeat which a shifter would have obvs

28 - wellll i mean it’s sad if the shifter’s already in a relationship and they have to break their s/o’s heart to go sniff up their imprint’s ass but other than that i do have a thing for the whole soulmate scenario like soulmate mark au’s mmm they’re kinda neato it makes me feel better to think there’s a destined person for everybody

jacob is fucking creepy tho fuck that garbage meyer came up with for him and the horrific baby vampire spawn of smegward sullen *shudder*