hiddenite and ruby!
hiddenite: how much of an "inner child" my muse has
oh man. oh, jegus. um. not as much as he should. more than you’ll ever see. okay? okay.
that’s all i can really say, honestly.
look, Cloud has a lot of inner child, but it;s buried so deep he has (almsot) no idea where it is (until it’s there, and then gone again).it’s not really something he puts a lot of thought into, until he does, and then there’s lots of regret.
ruby: a happiness headcanon
damnit, i... i don’t have any
i think i’ve said before that Cloud is rarely ever happy, only kind of... content, at best. at best, he’s usually not unhappy, but not actually happy, either. on some subconscious level, perhaps this is because he feels he doesn’t actually deserve it. even without the death of his mother, Zack and Aerith; even without all of his guilt mistakes and the people he couldn’t save; even without the Goestigma and how he couldn’t help Denzel...
even with all of that aside, even without confining himself to misery i don;t think Cloud thinks he should be happy. saving the world twice? that’s something he had to do, plus killing Sephiroth for revenge. all his friends? sure, they give him joy, but... not true happiness.
as Cloud once said, “there’s not a thing I don’t cherish.”
but i... personally, i don’t think Cloud feels like he deserves it. he is; he lives and he exists, and that’s all there is to it.
