Straw Hat modern!AU v.1: Jobs and Random Bits of non-plot Headcanons
Yes I know Oda already gave a list and far be it from me to disagree with canon (/s) but hear me out
Jimbei - full-time activist, former soldier/bodyguard. Lorge. Still does work as a bouncer from time to time, this is how he meets Luffy.
(Does karate at the national level. Works out at Zoro's gym, teaches classes sometimes.)
Brook - musician, naturally. Classically trained, accidentally achieved popular fame after the band he was in with his old buddies for fun was scouted out. Lost his bandmates. :( Was depressed for years and just tuned pianos and guitars and other instruments until the Straw Hats brought joy to his life again.
Franky - freelance handyman. Is an engineer, has a engineering degree and certification, but no firm will hire him because he refuses to wear formal clothes (main client is the local university, they asked him only to work at night to avoid students and claims plausible deniability if he chooses not to wear shoes on his own job sites) but he doesn't mind his lot in life because fuck 'em anyway also because trauma and also he's in love with one of the profs
Robin - university professor, teaches history/linguistics/historical linguistics/archaeology. Has like four PhDs. Was wrapped up in some shadiness in Central America while a grad student, but does such high-quality work and is in love with her building's handyman that no one tries to get her in trouble for it
(Robin and Franky meet and bond over keeping the fucking ancient anthropology building both up to livable standards and eligible for the national heritage register. They talk A Lot about historical building materials and methods)
((Note I said 'up to livable standards' and not 'up to code'. Franky's nickname is short for 'Frankenstein' for what he's done to the building's wiring, though somehow it still works))
Chopper - third year med student at 15. Already accepted into the residency program Law is an attending at. Also, he has his driver's license now!! He's the DD for the Straw Hat crew when they go out to bars, and is also self-appointed booze coordinator and hits the brakes for people when he senses alcohol poisoning coming on. Not even Whitebeard Himself can argue when little Dr. Tony gives his super-serious little disapproving pout.
(No, a 15yo cannot legally drive at night, much less operate a car full of drunkards. No one tells him this because he takes the responsibility for the well-being of his friends so seriously, and also no one gives a shit, and also everyone else is drunk anyway.)
Sanji - sous-chef at Baratie (I know, I know, shocker) which is next door to Zoro's gym. He takes classes at the university so that he'll be able to run his own restaurant one day.
(If he finds the FUCKING SHITHEAD who's drawing that Sora, Warrior of the Sea-inspired comic in the school newspaper someone's gonna have to fake an alibi to get him out of murder charges. Even if he does approve of Germa 66's ugly designs and cries over Sora's successful escape and loving words to her lost son)
Usopp - physics major, art minor. Draws a weekly comic for the school newspaper called The Adventures of Sniper King. Picked up boxing due to high school requirements, works out at Zoro's gym.
(Yes it's him. He's got a yellow stripe painted down his back due to the vitriol Sanji spews at his pseudonym daily. He really didn't mean for it to take off! Sanji told them all his story once and Usopp was heartbroken because he lost his mom too and one day he got an itch and he drew a comic about what he thought Sora'd say to Sanji, or what he thought Banchina might say to him, or some weird combination--and then sent it instead of the next installment of Sniper King to his editor ON ACCIDENT and PEOPLE WANTED MORE and HE'S SO SORRY AND HE'S SO SCARED. SANJI'S GONNA KILL HIM AND USOPP WILL DESERVE IT)
((Sanji condemns him into being busboy at Baratie for a month and refuses to speak to him for three days. But he also gives him spicy ginger desserts every night for a week, because Usopp's Sora is truer to life than the original Sora in terms of the love she embodies, and because Stealth Black's rumored escape is shown in the light of triumph. Sanji could hear her in the monologue of Sora's thoughts to her son when she learned he'd escaped Germa 66's clutches. How proud she was that the circumstances of his birth and life hadn't chained him down forever. It was the first time since the age of 9 that he could clearly remember what she had sounded like because, whether through pure miracle or the shared sympathy of orphan-hood, Usopp had gotten her voice exactly right, and it soothed something old and hurting in Sanji to hear it.))
Nami - business/finance, computer science double major. She REALLY wanted to study geography and GIS systems but her family needs the money so she's tilted her dreams--she's going to build the most precise geographic information system in the WORLD and market it to rich assholes while "losing it" to low-income thieves in need.
Stole 50% of her college tuition and negotiated down the other half in a meeting the bursar's office can't actually quite remember fully? But it's their signatures on the papers.
Zoro - business major. Yes, it's as ridiculous as it sounds. No he is not passing any of his classes. But Kuina had been determined to inherit the dojo and keep it flourishing, even if her dad didn't think a woman could. Then she died; and Shimotsuki-sensei died when Zoro was in high school; and now Zoro has two dear friends' dreams on his shoulders, and damn his lack of an MBA or any common sense but he will succeed. Sanji, Nami, and Jimbe are helping.
He did rename the place, from just 'Shimotsuki Dojo' to Kuina's Asskickers, and opened it to all sports. All classes and all tournaments are co-ed, all ages. He tried to get "ASSKICKER" on the gym's competition uniforms/gi but some of his students are toddlers so that wouldn't fly, so he uses 2001 instead. People think it's the founding year and get very confused when the gym is technically 50+years old; 2001 = the number of fights Zoro lost to Kuina.
(Nami asks him why he didn't use "KUINA"; Zoro looks at her funny. "But that's not [male student example]'s name? Why would I put that on his back? Do you want people to get confused??")
((He does have Kuina's name stitched into his gi))
Luffy - biology major. HEAR ME OUT. Garp insisted he go to college for at least a semester and while still an undecided liberal arts major, Luffy discovered a whole BUILDING FILLED WITH COOL BUGS!!! AND PEOPLE GO OUT AND FIND THEM?? AND BRING THEM BACK!! THAT'S A JOB???? SO COOL!!!
So yeah. Technically he's on the road to become an entomologist, but is struggling due to his undiagnosed (but incredibly obvious) AuDHD and a lack of care for statistics (and math in general) and research writing (and reading/writing in general). Robin, Chopper, and Usopp are working HARD to get him to the general area of passing. Luffy also is getting a minor in Portuguese (which is his first language) because he plans on exploring the Amazon Rainforest looking for cool beetles when he graduates.
Ace - fire fighter with shady connections. (more later?)
Sabo - activist with much shadier connections. (more later?)
character i’d like to see in a flower crown: sara lance!!!!! that would be the cutest!!! (also would become my icon in 0.5 seconds)
character i’d like to see have an emotional breakdown: this is evil...but leonard...there’s just something about watching the stoic losing it that i love with all my evil heart :)
character i’d like to see get punched in the face: *chanting* savage savage savage
character most likely to sing along to journey songs in the car: jax!!! he’s one of the few on the waverider i can even picture singing!!
character who refuses to pull over and ask for directions on roadtrips: captain hunter does not get lost, he’s only.... temporaly displaced (see what i did there??)
character who always stubs their toes on the washing machine: ray!!! that’s one of the few things that can make him drop a f-bomb
character who changes their starbucks order ten times: kendra “i was a barista until two years and two months ago” saunders, basically because as a barista she’s had the chance to try everything and thus absolutely LOVES everything
character who shows up late for everything: hmmm...mick probably, part because he doesn’t give a fuck unless involves fire or leonard, part just to annoy rip
character who is the worst kisser: ohhhh this one is hard... let’s see, miranda dropped the time masters for rip so he’s gotta be a hell of a kisser, valentina invited leonard up after their kiss so same thing, felicity didn’t seem disappointed in ray so he’s out, same with sara because...nyssa, oliver and lindsey (damn i want her love life), and well stein is married so he can’t be that bad himself....that leaves me with only mick and jax and sorry but i’m gonna have to say mick
character who takes 45 minutes showers: kendra...not a problem unless they’re in a time with limited hot water
character who gets most bent out of shape over the pronunciation of gif: RAY!!! he knows it’s gif and there’s no telling him otherway
