Discover Top Posts Tagged with #thisisagift

10/10 would do anything if the Kurgan grabbed us by the throat and said "hello pretty."

So I just came across an old post that said asmodeus was pictured as a demon with rooster legs and it has been an indeed chickeny kind of month.

And then today I found [Name]'s ring that I lost last year.

So I'm really glad to know he's still around.

My three moods are: Corn, Porn, and Mourn.

Me: I don't wanna email coworker. I don't wanna email coworker. I don't wanna email coworker.

Me*opens email to email coworker*

Coworker: *walks by as I type their name*

Me: GODS DAMMIT

I am the Lamb to Slaughter

Said the Wolf

Every time you touch me,

My heart stops.

When you kiss me,

I taste Death on your lips.

Being with you is full of little deaths.

I think this is how I will die,

Wrapped in a loving embrace.

[Name]: don't do it

Me: you can't talk to me like that you're not my real dad!

[Name]: no but I am your Daddy

(And all bc he wanted me to use his pipe)

Me:*heating up 2nd dinner at 930* wtf is wrong with you? Why are you always hungry?

Also me: because we are also horny and at least one hunger can get fed!

#thisisagift