So remember that time when I said that Chapter 10 will be the last chapter? Well, that was a massive gross overestimation in my ability to cram all the necessary details in as little words as possible. Clearly, I'm not to be trusted with writing short chapters and Chapter 10 ended up so massive that I'm splitting it into 2 parts. So, here's Part 1. Part 2 will be posted as Chapter 11...whenever I write it. Heh.
[This is not posted on AO3, not until I get my revision back, so enjoy the unedited version. Many many thanks for your patience and special thanks to cicerothewriter and hoshiyaquilla for their help!]
Part. XIV The Captors
The first thing that Bilbo realized upon waking up, aside from the overwhelming feeling like death warmed over, was the pungent smell of damp mildew around him and the echoing sound of angry shouting.
“We should not have taken the Dwarf! That was not part of the plan!”
“Sod the plan! The plan already went to complete and utter shit when you lot stupidly decided to push it ahead of schedule!”
“If you did your job properly and got the Hafling alone like you were supposed to do, we wouldn’t have had to take the Dwarf to begin with!”
“Oy! You tried peeling that stubborn pissant away from the Hafling! Besides, we were attacked!”
“He was half your size, you arse-faced idiot! Now, we’re all in this bloody mess no thanks to you.”
“Well, what are we going to do now? We can’t just keep him! I say we kill him and be done with it.”
“Kill him? Are you mad? I did not sign up to murder anyone!”
Bilbo pressed his lips together to muffle an involuntary groan as the noise fed into his pounding headache, threatening to overwhelm his senses in a red haze of agony. The bed of sharp, jagged stones that he was laying on did not help alleviate the ache in his body either. Reflexively, he shifted to get himself into a more comfortable position but his bound arms caught him by surprise. With a pained grunt, Bilbo flopped ungracefully back to the ground and the pebbles around him scattered loudly across the stone floor. The conversation in the room abruptly died.
“Would you look at that? The Halfling is finally awake! Quick, someone get our esteemed leader.”
What is going on and where am I? Bilbo thought groggily at the sound of retreating footsteps. Panicked, he struggled to regain his senses and he snapped his eyes opened, only to immediately regret his decision when the bright daylight assaulted his vision. A sharp spike of pain ripped through his head, the agony threatening to send him reeling back into unconsciousness.
Alright, that was a stupid idea. Let’s not try that again. Bilbo closed his eyes with a hiss and he concentrated on taking deep, steady breaths, battling to stay awake. He did not even notice the new arrival until the stranger stood less than a foot away from his curled form.
“Mister Baggins! My apologies for the rough treatment,” a familiar voice – possibly the leader’s if Bilbo were to hazard a guess – called out. He sounded strangely muffled as if he was speaking underwater. “It is unfortunate that we are in this current predicament, but please know that I have nothing personal against you at all.”
In a last ditch attempt at defiance, Bilbo mustered the last of his dwindling energy to squint up at his assailant.
Haldan smiled back at him with cold, hard eyes. “This is just business and you, Mister Baggins, are worth a lot of money. I hope you understand.”
Bilbo’s vision faded to black before he could hear the rest of what Haldan had to say.
=====
The room was immediately in an uproar at Dáin’s grim announcement.
“A ransom? Who would do such a vile thing?!”
“Why would they take Bilbo and Ori? They have the gentlest temperament out of all of us!”
“Maybe because they are so polite and pleasant that the kidnappers thought that they make soft, easy targets.”
“As if any member of Thorin Oakenshield’s Company would be soft after all that we had to face!”
“Master Dori? Master Dori?” Balin’s alarm could be heard above the agitated cries of the room. Bombur and Bifur, who were milling nearby, turned towards the rapidly paling Dwarf in question and together with Balin, they gently guided him back into his seat. “Deep breaths Master Dori,” Balin coaxed, “Keep taking deep breaths.”
On the other side of the room, Nori desperately pushed his way through the throng of Dwarves to get to Dáin and Thorin. “Let me through,” he snarled as the others skirted away from his war path. This must be some kind of a sick, twisted joke, Nori balled up his fists and thought angrily. How dare anyone, let alone Dáin of all people, tell such blatant lies to the Company!
It wasn’t until he had finally seen the braid and that damnably familiar purple ribbon – a present from their late mother, Ori treasured that thing – being handed to Thorin that Nori felt his breath knocked from his body; all the conflicting, violent emotions drained away in an instant, leaving him to stand shock still. His treacherous mind was flooded with horrible scenarios of his baby brother, sweet gentle Ori, left beaten and bleeding somewhere in the dark and there was absolutely nothing he could do to make this stop.
“They cut off his braid,” he croaked out hollowly instead. “Why would they cut off his braid?”
The braid and the golden button served as a friendly warning, a dark, sinister part of Nori’s mind, one that was more than familiar with the way kidnappers think, whispered to him. It sent chills running down the Dwarf’s spine. The next package received would be a thousand times worse and a thousand times more bloody.
A steady hand on Nori’s shoulders jostled him out of his dark musing. “Master Nori,” Bofur’s brows were drawn gravely and Nori wondered how the miner could remain so composed when he felt shook to the core, “we will find your little brother and Bilbo.”
The thief swallowed hard and nodded mechanically, but he couldn’t find it in him to be so blindly optimistic. Bofur apparently could sense Nori’s hesitation. At the thief’s lacklustre reaction, he frowned even deeper and tightened his grip on the Dwarf.
Meanwhile, Dwalin had violently stalked forward to get to Thorin without caring that he had knocked his chair over. He stopped when he reached beside Nori and ever so slowly, he unsheathed Grasper and Keeper. “What does that letter say,” he hissed, the quiet murder in his voice so cold that all those who heard him shivered, “who do I have to eviscerate for laying a hand on my intended and on our Hobbit?”
“A group, if what this letter says is the truth,” Thorin looked up from the letter to reply coolly. His blasé attitude would have been convincing if not for the white knuckled grip on the page. “They want 14 000 gold coins, divvied up into five portions to be delivered in three days' time and dropped off in a location that they have specified.”
“Specified?”
“They have drawn a map.”
“Idiots,” Glóin brandished his axe and laughed derisively. “All we have to do is ambush them when they collect the gold!”
The Dwarves answered with a resounding, enthusiastic ‘Aye’ and without further ado, they gleefully followed Glóin and Dwalin’s example and unsheathed their weapons at once.
“Dwarves, let’s not be too hasty! If we can all just put those away,” Dáin yelled over the bloodthirsty crowd. His words went unheeded.
“We will make an example out of them! Show the rest of the world just what happens to those who harm one of our own!”
“Like young Ori had once said, we’ll give them a taste of Dwarfish iron right up their jacksies!”
“Please, if we can all just settle down and carefully rationalize –”
“I have my crossbows! I have been practising on how to double wield them!”
“My Prince, I must really object to this unorthodox use – Please put those away!”
“SILENCE!” Thorin slammed his hand against his desk and roared, and in an instant, blessed silence filled the room once again. “An ambush would not work,” the King began testily. He glared at his sheepish companions, “The kidnappers have already anticipated this. In the letter, they said that they will only release the hostages once they have safely retrieved the gold. If the kidnappers are harmed in the meantime, Bilbo and Ori will automatically forfeit their lives.”
Thorin held up his hand to pre-emptively stop the grumblings. He continued authoritatively, “We will not give them any incentive to harm those two. My decision is final on this.”
He did not break his eye contact from his Dwarves, especially from a growling, homicidal-looking Dwalin who was still clutching Grasper and Keeper, until everyone had nodded sullenly in acquiesce. Satisfied that he had driven his point home, he turned to his skittish cousin and asked gravely, “Where did you find this letter?”
Dáin’s lips were pressed into a tight line, his face adopting a pinched look from what was undoubtedly an extremely unpleasant memory. “It was found on Master Borin, your Highness. It was placed deliberately there to –”
“Placed deliberately?” Nori scoffed in disbelief. He glared coldly at the Iron Hills Lord and spat out, “It is no secret that your advisors do not like Bilbo. And now you’re telling me that you have conveniently found a note on Master Borin. What’s to say that they were not the ones who were responsible for this?”
“Because, Master Nori,” Dáin answered flatly, “the note was pinned to Master Borin’s shirt across his chest while Master Borin himself was found lying unconscious in a pool of his own blood. Whoever wanted our attention made sure they got it.” Pursing his lips, he brusquely turned to Thorin. “Master Frór and I were the ones who found him. I have Frór watching over him at the moment. Master Borin sustained a knife wound to his side and a blow to the back of his head. Thankfully, it was nothing life threatening.”
“Now if you are all ready,” Dáin eyed the shocked crew tersely, “I can take you to him. Hopefully he is awake to answer our questions.”
=====
The second time that Bilbo woke up, he was bombarded by two different sensations; the first and immediate one was an all consuming pain that seemed to be radiating somewhere from the back of his skull. Bilbo suspected that if he had the strength to lift his arms, he would have found a swollen bump there as a telltale sign of his injury. The second thing that Bilbo noticed, once he had pushed away the feeling of pain, was the pervasive chill of damp wooden planks pressing uncomfortably against his cheek. That in itself was highly unusual since the last thing he remembered was strolling beside Ori on his way back to Thorin’s tent –
A wave of disorienting memories came crashing back at him.
Farm. Attack. Kidnapping.
Haldan.
It took every last ounce of effort for Bilbo not to visibly react at the deep seated feeling of betrayal that flared up within him. His friend had orchestrated his kidnapping! How long had Haldan been planning this? Has it always been Haldan’s intention to trick Bilbo into becoming friends so that he would lower his guard around the other advisor? Was Bard in on this scheme as well?
Bilbo clamped down on his anger. The answers could wait. For now, he needed to focus on surveying his immediate surroundings.
Keeping himself loose limbed to feign unconsciousness, Bilbo breathed in deeply, registering the utter stillness of the room and the cloying scent of musk from the stale air around him. The quietness of the space reminded him of Erebor before its resurrection. Bilbo remembered the first time that he explored the derelict fortress; his diminutive form had casted a long shadow over the once gilded walls while his steps echoed hollowly in the abandoned rooms with every new step he took. The utter feeling of loneliness had pressed heavily against Bilbo from all around him, making him feel small and insignificant in the vast, open space. There was something horribly sad to see such splendour reduced to ashes and dust.
Well, Bilbo thought glumly, opening his eyes to his surroundings at last, I much prefer to be over there than here, wherever here is.
Bilbo waited until he was certain that he had regained enough of his senses before wriggling his arms behind him. The tight tug around his numbing wrists was to be expected and logically, Bilbo had to admit that it would be a gross oversight if his captors did not keep him bound, but he could not help but feel slightly disappointed to discover his hands tied. Carefully adjusting his weight, he struggled clumsily into a sitting position, only flopping to his side twice for his trouble. He squinted around in hopes that he could recognize something, anything that could give away where he was.
From what Bilbo could tell, he was in a small, rectangular room completely devoid of furniture and light, save for a weak beam of sunlight that shone through a tiny circular window far above Bilbo’s reach. The dark, weathered wood beneath him looked like it had seen better days. Broken, jagged pieces of the floor planks jutted out randomly across the span of the room with all manners of detritus caught between the cracks and holes of the floorboards. The walls were in an equally sad state of affair. The half-rotting wooden panels that were held in place by rusting, protruding nails looked like they were seconds away from collapsing inwards. Outside, the wind howled and Bilbo shivered at the cold that seeped through.
Wait, shivered?
Bilbo quickly looked down and felt instantly relieved that his green jacket was still on his body, although it was gaping wide open from the lack of buttons. He sighed in resignation. Honestly, how was it that he had such bad luck with keeping his buttons? He had rather liked those too! They were beautifully made and, Bilbo suspected, handcrafted by Thorin himself, which made losing them all the more regretful. At this rate, he might as well just give up on buttons altogether and go around wearing something like his old bathrobe.
The resounding clank of the metal lock sliding open caught Bilbo completely off guard and he reflexively shifted his attention towards the room’s entrance. The door creaked open and in came Haldan, carrying a wooden tray with food. The sheepish smile that he gave to Bilbo was a familiar one, and the Hobbit automatically prepared himself to brush away the stream of apologies that would undoubtedly come pouring out of Haldan. Then, he remembered that he was in this predicament because of that lying backstabber and the anger came roaring back.
“Mister Baggins! I am glad to see that you are awake! I was worried that we were too rough with you. My apologies for that,” Haldan said, pausing briefly to kick the door shut behind him. “I have brought you some soup, some bread and a pot of tea for us to share, although we will have to make do without milk and sugar, I’m afraid. Please enjoy the meal while it is still fresh and warm.”
Bilbo threw the strongest glare that he could muster. “How kind of you to watch over my well being after you’ve kidnapped me,” he uttered with venom.
Haldan rolled his eyes and deposited the tray in front of the Hobbit. Instantly, the air of nervousness around him vanished. “Oh don’t be so dramatic! I told you it wasn’t personal. Besides, I’m hardly going to let you starve. You’re worth more to me alive than dead. Now if you don’t mind, please kindly turn around.” When Bilbo did not budge at all, he sighed, “Unless you want to eat with your hands tied, that’s fine by me as well.”
Bilbo grudgingly turned so that his tied hands were facing Haldan. For a brief second, he entertained the thought of running to safety the moment he was freed.
Clearly anticipating Bilbo’s train of thought, Haldan added in an exasperated manner, “Please do not try to run. Not only do I have a knife that I’m not afraid to use, I have guards posted outside your door and I have your little friend with us as well. I’d hate to hurt him to get you to cooperate.”
Bilbo would have spun around if Haldan’s grip wasn’t on his arm. “Little friend?” he asked, his heart sinking. Please don’t let it be Ori, please don’t let it be Ori.
Haldan hummed and said distractedly, “Yes, the young Dwarf with his head constantly buried in a book. I like him, he’s well-mannered!”
Oh, this was not good.
Bilbo turned to face his captor when the rope bindings were cut off. He absentmindedly rubbed the circulation back into his raw wrists. “Why take Ori? He hasn’t done anything.”
Haldan winced and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well...my men panicked when the kidnapping was taking too long. I admit, things could have gone much smoother, but we had to push our plans forward than what was initially scheduled so...” The advisor trailed off, still looking very much embarrassed. He lowered himself on a debris-free spot on the floor and he sat crossed legged. “Rest assured, he is safe and sound. Now please sit while I get this tea started.”
Bewildered, Bilbo gingerly sat down as Haldan began pouring two cups of tea from the flowered porcelain pot that he had brought in. He was torn between following his Baggins sensibilities by thanking for the offered tea, because no respectable Hobbit refused a good cup of tea, and his Tookish sensibilities to tell Haldan just where he could stick that tea cup. Instead, he asked, “So you’ve had this elaborate plan to kidnap me for ransom but you had to do a rush job. Why, though?”
“Why what?” Haldan gently placed the pot to the side with a soft clink to look up inquisitively at Bilbo. “Why the kidnapping or why the rush?”
“Both, I suppose.”
Haldan reached for his cup and blew lightly to clear away the rising steam from his drink. “Well, Mister Baggins,” he began, “to answer your second question first, we had to rush the plan when we learned that Gandalf the Grey was arriving. The last thing we want is a Wizard to interfere.” He took a deep drink of his tea before continuing, “As for your first question, the answer requires a bit of time. You don’t mind do you?”
Bilbo rolled his eyes and scoffed. “By all means, let’s hear it. It’s not like I have any places I need to be at the moment.”
“Wonderful!” Haldan beamed and somewhere in the back of Bilbo’s mind, he was reeling at how surrealthis whole situation was. He was having tea and polite conversation with his captor of all people, and if Thorin knew about this, Eru forbid that he does, the Dwarf would probably scowl furiously like he had never scowled before in disapproval.
This has got to be the most bizarre kidnapping in the history of Middle-Earth.
“How much do you know about the Lake-town Master?” Haldan asked. He nudged the plate of food closer to Bilbo. “Come on now, eat up! I promise it isn’t poisoned. See?” As a show of good faith, he pinched off a bit of bread, dipped it in the soup and ate it.
“He was a slimy git who ran away after Bard gave him the gold to rebuild Lake-town.” Bilbo answered bluntly, eyeing the food with open suspicion. Why was Haldan doing this? Was it of some bizarre form of guilty penance? Or maybe, Haldan was bored out of his mind and Bilbo provided some entertainment. Bilbo wasn’t sure which answer that he preferred.
“Well I’m hardly going to disagree with you on that!” Haldan laughed into his tea. “Yes, he was a git and he ran away with a lot of gold although that was certainly not where my problems began. I suppose I should start from the beginning?”
Bilbo nodded slowly and he reached for his soup, finally giving in to his Hobbitish love of food. He took a small bite out of it and noted, with bitterness, that it was potato and leek, his favourite. It was also absolutely delicious.
Damn you, Haldan, he thought viciously, scarfing down a much larger mouthful as he continued to glare poisonously at the man.
“My associates and I used to work for the Master,” Haldan said, completely ignoring the animosity that was directed at him. “I was his accountant. It was the job that I have been striving to get, not because I particularly liked the Master, but I did like the sizeable income that came with the position. The money meant that my family and I could finally crawl from the gutters of poverty. Can you imagine what it is like to go so desperately hungry that you are on the verge of starvation, Mister Baggins?”
For an instant, Bilbo tensed, clutching at his the bowl and his spoon tightly until his hands were shaking. Cold-seated panic unfurled in his head along with the sharp, bitter memories of the Fell Winter. He was but a child at the time, and a rather sheltered one at that, but Bilbo doubt he could ever forget the thick blanket of fear that had smothered the Shire-folk as they watched their food storage dwindle down to nothing. Bilbo remembered the many hushed conversations that his parents had shared, made in secrecy when they thought he was not present. They grew more and more frequent and more and more panicked as the unforgiving winter stretched out, when not even the Baggins’ wealth could save them from hunger, not when there was no food to be found anywhere. He remembered the strict rationing that his mother had carried out, and despite how tough things were at home, Bilbo’s parents were insistent that their son would always have at least a mouthful to eat. It wasn’t until later when his father had fallen ill and Bilbo had seen how equally thin and gaunt his mother had become that he realized just from whom he was taking his food.
Bilbo may not have had to starve, but he understood what it was like all the same.
“I don’t need to imagine,” Bilbo said, his voice deceptively steady as he pushed away his half empty bowl of soup. He swallowed the memories down along with the unpleasant, roiling emotions that came with them.
“I am sorry to hear that, Mister Baggins.” Haldan looked at Bilbo with something akin to pity and Bilbo felt another spike of irritation towards his captor. “However, I trust that you fully understand my determination to avoid sinking to that level again. I happily worked for the Master and the both of us came to a mutual agreement – I would be paid very handsomely for my work and in return, I would turn a blind eye to some of his, ah, less than honest dealings. Together with my associates, we became very rich, very fast.”
That...did not surprise Bilbo. Having met the Master, he could imagine the detestable man to be involved in embezzlement.
“So, let me guess,” Bilbo crossed his arms across his chest and said flatly, “you were finally discovered.”
Haldan tilted his head in agreement but he did not look upset by the accusation. “And the timing could not have been any worse. It was right after Smaug’s attack and the people, well, what’s left of them anyway, were hoping to use the town's fund to rebuild their homes. However, they discovered a significantly less amount of money saved up for the town than what was reported. It seemed that the Master has gotten a bit too greedy and has pinched off more money than he should have. To say that the Master and all those who worked for him were heavily criticized was…a severe understatement.”
Things were starting to piece together for Bilbo and he blurted out, “Is that why the Master was so insistent with pressing Thorin for money before the Battle? To give it back to the people to save his own skin?”
“Partially,” Haldan looked very pleased at Bilbo’s leap of logic, “the townsmen were threatening all of our lives at that point and we, in turn, were threatening to redistribute the Master’s assets to appease the masses. You can imagine that he was under quite the pressure to procure the necessary funds to quell this situation and thought it best to acquire said fund through Thorin. I also had no doubt that he was hoping to pocket some of the newly earned gold for himself.”
“Of course he was.” Bilbo rolled his eyes while absentmindedly reaching for his cup of tea. For a kidnapping, this whole endeavour sure was becoming much more comfortable than he had expected. “He received his gold from King Bard after the negotiation with Thorin. It should be more than enough to get the townsfolk off of his back.”
“Yes, he did, but it was much too late by that time. There was so much anger towards the Master that there wasn’t much that he could do to salvage this situation.” Haldan grimaced in distaste, “Even then, King Bard insisted on giving the Master the gold out of some naive hope that the Master could use it to redeem himself. Once a loyal guard to the Master, forever a loyal guard, it would seem.”
“And where were you and your associates? How did you escape the townsmen’s wrath and land yourself as Bard’s advisor?”
Haldan smiled. “Oh, don’t be mistaken, Mister Baggins, there was no escaping the townsmen, not when they have their torches and pitchforks ready. As far as they were concerned, my associates and I were just as guilty so the best that we could do at the time was to keep our heads down and out of sight.” Haldan pressed two fingers against his mug and frowned when it was too hot for his liking. He continued, “It just so happened that I was the more fortunate one out of the group. I was approached by King Bard himself who was seeking an expert in dealing with finances and he was hoping that I could work for him. Best of all, the King promised to protect me if I accepted.” Haldan tilted his head back and laughed, “It was an offer that was impossible to refuse.”
“But King Bard must have known about your involvement with the Master. No offense, but couldn’t he have picked someone with a reputation for being more trustworthy?” Bilbo pressed on, absorbed with finding the truth. And to think, there was so much hidden beneath Haldan’s nervous, jittery façade. He wondered how many people had equally underestimated the man like he himself had done.
“No offense taken!” Haldan said wryly. “To be honest, I was just as surprised as you were at being approached. I suspect it was because I was the only one who was still alive that had the necessary accounting skills.” He chuckled darkly, “By chance, I was promoted from a disgraced accountant to a hated advisor. Funny how everyone else’s loss ended up to be my gain.”
He sighed in disappointment at the disgusted look that Bilbo threw at him. “And this is where you and I are fundamentally different, Mister Baggins. I am an opportunist who will always put myself in front of everything. You, on the other hand, are bogged down by this need to please everyone.”
He propped his chin up with his fist and he leaned forward, squinting at Bilbo as if he was observing some bizarre creature. “It must be so exhausting having to constantly do good by everybody. I still can’t quite figure out if you are being exceptionally brave or stupid for undertaking such an impossible task.” Haldan eyed Bilbo up and down quickly, and said, his voice suddenly chilly, “At the moment, my opinion is leaning more towards ‘stupid’.”
Bilbo swallowed heavily at Haldan’s sudden change in demeanour. So, this was what Haldan had been hiding all along, this steel core of ruthlessness that, by his own admission, pushed him to place his own well-being above all else. Worse still, Haldan seemed to pride himself in his unwavering conviction to serve his own interests. Bilbo wondered just how far Haldan will go to achieve this. Would he risk burning every single bridge of his past?
Putting on a nonchalant face, the Hobbit said with false bravado, “Why does it matter if I'm being stupid or not? You just need me for the money.” He paused to take a small sip of tea to further disguise how much his discovery had disturbed him. “Speaking of which, you haven’t finished your explanation. Why do you need the money?”
And just like that, Haldan was back to his sunny self. “Oh, pardon me! Where was I?” He crossed his arms and stared at the floor for a few seconds until his line of thought came back. “Ah yes, I became King Bard’s newest advisor and believe it or not, I wanted to do a good job. I had much to gain by retaining my position and I suppose that I wanted to redeem myself, at least a little. However, I quickly realized that my efforts were made into a mockery by just about everyone.”
“I’m not sure if I have mentioned this, Mister Baggins, but I am rather good with numbers and figures.” He shot a challenging look at Bilbo but was immediately pacified when the Hobbit nodded along passively. “From the very beginning, I have discussed with the King how best to spend his money. I have submitted costs projections and endless pages of reports to warn him about overspending but despite my best efforts, my warnings were brushed aside by the King’s other advisors who, I should add, know nothing about finances. You see, it was a personal vendetta that they had against me. They were not happy with my presence and had made it their mission to remove me from my post.”
Haldan’s voice was low and dangerous when he hissed out, “And the King, that stupid, biddable man, followed their advice, despite the fact that he had hired me for my expertise. Time and time again, I tried to speak to him but he wouldn't listen.”
Bilbo wisely refrained from making any comments and took a silent sip of his tea.
“Did you know, Mister Baggins,” Haldan continued and there was no disguising his open bitterness, “that Dale's current funds are absolutely pitiful? When I brought this up in a meeting, they had the audacity to pin the blame on me!” Haldan gestured to himself violently. “You’re the financial advisor, they exclaimed, why haven’t you warned us? How did you let this happen? What do we need you for if you can't even do what you're hired to do?”
“And then, the rumours started to spread – Haldan must be up to his old tricks again! He is embezzling from the King just like he and the previous Master had embezzled from Lake-town! Why was he hired anyway? Clearly, he must be infecting the King with his poison! Quickly, someone have him removed before he could do more damage! Jail is too good for someone like him, he should stoned, no, hanged for his crimes!” Bilbo flinched back as Haldan sounded more and more unhinged. “And that’s when I realized that nothing has changed. With the Master gone, I have become the town’s scapegoat, and it is only a matter of time before I will end up murdered. King Bard’s promise for protection was nothing but useless words offered by a powerless man. I might as well take a page out of the Master's book and save myself!”
There was a moment of uncomfortable, tense silence. Sometime during that rant, Bilbo had leaned away from Haldan, clutching his mug over his chest like he was wielding a shield. As the man took a few deep breaths to reign in his rage, Bilbo slowly forced himself to lower his mug. “Why bring Erebor into this mess? Wouldn’t it have been easier for you to take directly from King Bard?” he asked hesitantly.
Haldan scoffed but Bilbo was relieved to note that his posture had relaxed slightly. “I was originally going to steal from King Bard,” he admitted, “but the pitiful amount that he has left will not be able to sustain me unless I want to start my new life as a pitiful, starving pauper. The only one with any gold around here is King Thorin, so I wasn't given much of a choice to choose from.”
“And kidnapping was your answer?”
“It was a quick, effective way of getting what you want if you have nothing left to lose and I'm not sure if you've noticed, Mister Baggins, but I have nothing left to lose.” Haldan shrugged, reaching for his mug beside him and draining the rest of the liquid in a smooth motion. “By that time, I have gathered my associates and they were also willing to do what it took to get out of here. It was easier to carry out a plan that took more risks with a team assembled, especially when the reward was a great one.”
Bilbo was about to retort when a loud crash resounded from outside of the door followed by the sound of muffled cursing.
“Ah, it seems that your friend is finally awake!” Haldan calmly placed his empty mug back on the wooden tray. He turned towards the door and called out, “Let him in!”
A large blond and furious-looking man with blood streaming down his chin (from his purpling, swollen nose, Bilbo noted in shock) came lumbering in. He was carrying a violently thrashing Ori under one of his arms as if he was lugging around a sack of potatoes.
“Let me go, you great, ugly, troll-shagging, scum-sucking son of a whore! Once I get my hands on you, oh you’re going to be sorry! You’re going to wish that I only left you with a broken nose, you – ”
“Not so polite anymore, this friend of yours,” Haldan idly commented as a string of increasingly creative profanities came pouring out of Ori. “Just leave him here somewhere – gently please!” he insisted when the large man looked like he was getting ready to throw Ori across the room.
Instead, he gave Haldan a foul glare, unceremoniously dumped Ori face-down on the ground, and backed away to stand guard beside the entrance with an annoyed grunt.
“Ori!” Bilbo shouted in distress, immediately clamouring to his friend.
“Bilbo?” Ori quickly lifted his head in Bilbo’s direction. “Bilbo! Are you alright? Are you hurt?” he struggled to roll himself around with renewed determination despite his bound arms and legs.
“I’m fine, I’m…fine,” Bilbo grabbed his friend by the shoulder and helped him sit up while checking for injuries that needed binding. The sight of dried blood caked along the side of Ori’s face made Bilbo worry in particular. Frowning, he gingerly pushed away the Dwarf’s blood soaked fringe to get a clearer view of the injury, careful to avoid brushing against any broken skin. He winced at the nasty gash that was revealed.
“Oh dear, perhaps we have been a bit too rough with your companion as well.” Haldan said apologetically. “I suppose that some damages cannot be avoided though.” He tilted his head at Ori and greeted happily, “Hello there! Good to see you again!”
“You!” Ori sputtered, his face frozen in shock for a brief second before contorting in a livid mixture of pain, hate and fury. Bilbo had to hold Ori down from charging angrily at the man despite the Dwarf was still bound.
“Yes, yes me. And here I thought Mister Baggins was overreacting when he woke up. Master Dwarf, you certainly have got him beat.” Haldan huffed out, bemused but unimpressed by the display of aggression. The large man behind him cracked his knuckles menacingly.
When no other answers were forthcoming from either Bilbo or Ori, Haldan got up and stretched his back, the joints of his spine popping unpleasantly. Bilbo felt a thrill of petty satisfaction in knowing that sitting on the floor had left the man just as uncomfortable as he was. “Well then, that certainly was interesting!” Haldan brushed the dust from his tunic with both of his hands. “As much as I would like to stay, I’m afraid I must be off! Lots of things left to plot. I’m sure you understand.” Haldan sent a quick signal with the flick of his wrist and the large man moved forward to pick up the tray and the discarded dishware. “I will have someone bring another meal for your friend shortly. Have a pleasant night, gentlemen.”
“Wait!” Bilbo called to his retreating back. He had one final question left to ask. “Why are you doing all this – the tea, the conversation?”
Haldan paused but he did not turn to face Bilbo. “I figured that at the very least, I could spare to tell you the truth. Consider it repayment for the kindness you have shown me.” With those parting words, he walked out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him.
=====
“Aye, your Majesty! I was attacked by four Men just by the outskirts of the camp! It was completely unprovoked! If I find out who those honourless, cowardly weasels are, I’ll have their beards, every last one of them!”
Frór placed a placating hand on Borin’s shoulder and gently pushed the incensed Dwarf back on to his cot. “Rest, friend,” he muttered, ignoring Borin’s grumbling.
“Can you recall any of their faces?” Thorin asked from the other side of the narrow bed, a bit too brusquely if Balin’s warning look was anything to judge by. Honestly, he could care less what he sounded like at the moment so long as Borin gave him the answers that he needed. “We will also need you to recount the events prior and during the attack.”
“Nay, your Majesty, I cannot recall what their faces looked like.” Borin shook his head apologetically. He immediately winced, lifting one of his hands to his head to gingerly prod against the thick swath of bandages wrapped there. “They were dressed as all the other workers would: thick, non-descript tunic, brown pants, worn leather boots, and gloves. They were also wearing their hoods up and they covered their faces with their scarves. However, I did notice that the one who stabbed me was a very large man, taller and stouter than King Bard. There was also a very small man in the group, real thin and bony looking.”
“One large man, two medium sized ones, and a very small one. That’s not much to go by.” Balin sighed, shifting closer to his King in a show of support. Thorin distantly realized that the tension rolling off of his shoulders must have been obvious to everyone in the room and he tried to force himself to relax. He needed to keep a cool head if he wanted any chance to save Bilbo and Ori. “Is there anything else that stood out about your attackers? Maybe a scar on the forehead or a birthmark somewhere that was uncovered?” Balin asked again.
“I’m afraid there is none, Master Balin,” Borin said regretfully. He stroked at his dark beard in thought. “They were careful to keep as much of their features as hidden as possible.”
Thorin tried not to let his frustration show.
“Everyone has gotten themselves comfortably settled, your Majesty,” Dáin announced as he walked in the room, drawing the Dwarves’ attention to him while inadvertently distracting Thorin from his increasingly angry thoughts. “Hopefully, the healers will feel less harassed now that everyone has gotten out of their way and peace has been restored to their tents.” He winked at a passerby healer and gave him a small, sheepish wave. He was rewarded with a dirty look.
None of the healers were impressed when thirteen, panicked Dwarves came barging into their sanctuary with their loud, frantic demands to see Borin, and it was only through the presence of both the King and the Iron Hills Lord that they were not promptly booted off the premise. In the end, it was agreed that only the King, the Lord and Balin were allowed in while the rest of the Company had to wait outside, where they would sit quietly and cease their disruptive behaviour at once, thank you very much!
“Have I missed anything important?” Dáin asked politely. He sidled beside Frór and bent over to greet Borin, pressing his forehead against his advisor's. “Old friend, I am glad to see that you are well,” the Lord said warmly, looking very much like a great weight had lifted off of his shoulders.
“It will take a lot more than a nick to the side and a blow to the head to keep this old Dwarf down,” Borin answered, his voice rough, but he was grinning widely back at Dáin.
Thorin swallowed, remembering the same fragile gesture that he had shared with Bilbo and what it felt like to willingly surround himself in his warm embrace. He had never told Bilbo this, but in that moment it was as if the Hobbit had applied a salve over his heart, one that soothed away all the hurt and the coiling anger in his body, leaving behind a rare sense of quiet stillness that he thought he would never feel again after Frerin’s death. That same feeling of peace only came back to him when he had Bilbo pressed tightly against him, locked in a passionate kiss that neither of them wanted to end.
Thorin balled his fists and made himself look away. He did not see Balin’s sad, understanding expression or the meaningful look he shared with Frór.
Clearing his throat delicately, Frór began in his characteristic unflappable manner, “Master Borin has been telling his Majesty that his attackers had gone to great lengths to keep themselves from being identified, and it was with utmost regret that he could not find any identifiable features on them save for their body size.” The Dwarf paused briefly to glance at Dáin, who was drawing away from Borin with one last, friendly clap to his shoulder. “Now that everyone is present, perhaps we should move on to discuss the events leading to the attack?”
Borin sighed, annoyed and tired by the memories of his attack. “It was my turn to work at the farm and knowing that the Hob – ” he caught the flash of irritation in Thorin’s eyes and hastily corrected, “Master Baggins was working there as well, I was hoping to use this as an opportunity to approach him. I have just found out some distressing news about that Dale advisor that Master Baggins is so fond of, the one who calls himself Haldan, and I wanted to warn Master Baggins to stay away from him. I believe that the man is more dangerous than he seems.”
Borin looked around and when he saw that no one had any questions, he continued quieter than before, “I found out that Haldan is nothing but a crook who worked with the Master to drain Lake-town dry of its riches. Now that it’s in ruins, Haldan has apparently moved on to a bigger, richer target: King Bard himself.”
“And what proof do you have that these rumours are true?” Thorin asked, sceptical. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Who’s to say that these are not stories conjured out of jealousy to slander the good Master Haldan’s name?”
“These are no mere stories, your Majesty. Haldan worked for the Master for many years as his accountant and during that time, the Master had consistently pocketed a fair amount of the city’s gold. This was discovered by the townsmen when they were trying to see if they could afford to fix the damages done by Smaug.” Borin raised a questioning brow to Thorin but his tone was in no way disrespectful when he added, “Who do you suppose helped the Master cover his tracks in the books, your Majesty?”
Thorin had to concede that Borin did have a point there.
Balin, however, was still unconvinced. He narrowed his eyes at Borin. “These are dangerous accusations that you are making, Master Borin,” he said gravely.
“And I trust my research and my sources to not lead me astray,” Borin responded confidently in turn. He met Balin’s measuring gaze without flinching.
“Gentlemen, please. We can discuss more about Haldan afterwards. For now, let us continue." Dáin gestured at Borin in a universal hand wave to encourage him to get on with. "You found out about Master Haldan and you wanted to warn Master Baggins. What happened next?”
“It was only until after we have returned from Dale that I was able to run into Master Baggins. I was at the outskirts of the Dwarven camp and I could see him walking with a young Dwarf some distance ahead of me. Before I could catch up to him however, I saw four Men trailing suspiciously behind him."
Thorin sucked in a sharp breath at the disturbing picture that Borin's words had planted in his mind. How long has Bilbo been followed without him noticing? How long has Bilbo's safety been so horribly compromised? He cursed under his breath; he knew he should have not given in to Bilbo's request by dismissing his team of Dwarven bodyguards.
When I get him back, Thorin thought, because he was going to get Bilbo back safe and sound, no ifs and buts, I am assigning at least twenty guards to Bilbo on top of the four who guard the bedroom's entrance.
"Those men were your attackers?" Dáin asked but the flat way he had said that made it sound like a foregone conclusion rather than a question. Borin nodded.
"I stopped them off course, first asking if they were lost, then asking what business they have around this area, who they were working for, what their jobs were, what was their schedule for the day, were they having a pleasant evening, how were they enjoying their walk, and who did they say they were working for again?" Borin held his hand up and he ticked his fingers off one by one as he listed out the questions he had asked. "Just employing the standard interrogation tactics to catch them off guard, really."
Frór crossed his arms and smiled, the corner of his mouth delicately quirking upwards in a gesture that was oozing with vindictive satisfaction. "I trust that you were successful?" he drawled out.
"Oh yes, they toppled like a house of cards. Couldn't keep their stories straight at all." Borin snorted, "In retrospect, that was where I made my mistake. I was so focused on catching them lying that I had failed to notice that I was very much alone at the time. Master Baggins and his friend had wandered out of sight."
"They all jumped on me at once. One of them managed to take a swipe at me with his knife and the last thing I remembered was something smashing into the back of my head." Borin absentmindedly picked at the rough, white bandaging around his head. He ignored Frór's disapproving look. "I managed to land a good few punches to their legs and knees before I went down though. Not sure how much damage I actually dealt out, but I would like to believe that at least one of them would have some trouble hobbling around for the next few days."
Thorin mentally went through Borin's account again, committing to memory what little description he was given of the captors: Four men, possibly sporting some form of leg injury, one larger than King Bard, one small and thin, the other two are of average size.
Balin was right; there wasn't much to go after, but Thorin was persistent if nothing else and he would continue searching to the ends of Middle-Earth if that was what it took to get his Bilbo back.
"Thank you, Master Borin, for your help." Thorin tilted his head lightly towards the bedridden Dwarf. "I will send Master Óin in to look over your injuries. He is especially talented with creating salves that could treat all kinds of wounds. I am sure that under his expert care, you will be on your feet in no time." He brushed aside Borin's flustered refusal with a quiet but firm, "I insist, Master Borin," and with one last nod towards the Iron Hills advisors, Thorin left the tent, Balin and Dáin tight on his heels.
The moment he set foot outside, the Company members immediately jumped to their feet and clamoured to him.
"Well, what did he say?" Dwalin was the first one to call out impatiently. Among the cacophony of noise and movement, he was standing almost entirely too still with his hands inches away from the daggers that Thorin knew were sheathed in his belt. Thorin had only seen Dwalin like this whenever he was on the hunt out in the wild, and he remembered his friend describing what it felt like to be in that headspace. "It's like your whole world, everything that you see and hear, has been narrowed down so that you can only focus on your goal to catch your prey. Everything else that is unrelated is just muffled, background rubbish," the warrior had said, shrugging.
Thorin had yet to see Dwalin fail in his hunts whenever he set his mind to it. He almost felt bad for those kidnappers in that brief second. Almost.
"Master Borin could not see his attackers' faces, they had disguised themselves well." Thorin admitted. The disappointment had not ebbed, not even after he had some time to digest this news. "What he could tell us was that there were four Men, dressed as everyday workers, who attacked him. Within the group, there was one who was large and heavily built, more so that King Bard, and another member who was small and thin. Master Borin might have also wounded one or more of them in the leg."
"That's not a bad place to start actually," Nori grunted out from his spot beside Dori. His older brother was still looking paler than usual and he was obviously leaning on Nori to keep himself standing, but Thorin was glad to note that the lost look of shock from earlier was fading.
At Nori's vague statement, everyone turned to the thief in surprise. When he noticed this, he elaborated impatiently, "The attackers looked like four workers from Dale or Lake-town. The only way they could have gotten into the camp was through the South Gate with all the other workers. On top of that, Dale and Lake-town workers tend to visit the camp for their routine supply drop-off and pick-up, and I know they operate on a different schedule from each other." He paused to let that information sink in. "If we can narrow down the time that the attack took place, we can match it with the schedule and find out which town they are from."
"Master Borin saw them trailing after Master Baggins and Master Ori after he returned from the farm," Dáin did not hesitate to volunteer immediately.
"Bilbo and Ori were probably walking back to the King's tent for our six o'clock meeting, which meant the kidnapping had to be just before that time," Bofur called out helpfully from behind the two Ri brothers. He returned Nori's look of gratefulness with a bashful smile.
"After the attack, they must have used something to carry Master Baggins and Young Ori out as well," Glóin added. His words stirred a fresh bout of interested murmur from his friends. "A cart, a wheelbarrow, anything. That should help narrow down our search some more!"
"An injured worker leaving the camp at around six o'clock with a cart is much more obvious to find," Bombur concluded with flourish, earning him a clap to the shoulder from the Dwarves around him.
Thorin nodded at his trusted entourage, his mind racing as he decided what he should do next. Already, he was feeling a resurgence of hope that this situation was not as bleak as he had first believed. "Master Nori," he ordered, "see what you can find out about all the workers who visited the camp. The resources of Erebor are to your disposal. Take anyone and anything that you may find useful, but be discreet in your search. We do not want to alert the kidnappers that we are on their trail."
Nori bowed lightly to his king. "Thank you for the offer but I work best alone and I have everything I need on my person. I will need help with sorting out the information once I have them." With a final bow, he gently guided Dori to Bofur, who gladly accepted his position as Dori's newest crutch, and left after whispering quick reassurance to both Dwarves.
"I have made quite the network of friends from the betting pools that I have set up and I am supposed to meet with them in ten minutes. With your permission, I can ask them if they have spotted any visitors who fit Master Borin's description. They are more than happy to share any gossip," Glóin offered.
Thorin nodded, "Do so but do not mention the kidnapping. After your meeting, return to my tent with the information you have collected. We will hopefully be able to coordinate with Nori to piece together something useful."
"We want to help as well!" Fíli moved to the front of the group with Kíli by his side and they stared at their Uncle with twin looks of determination on their faces.
Thorin reached over to clasp a hand on both of his nephews' shoulders and he wondered if there will ever be a day when he will cease to be proud of his boys. "I will need you to find Roäc at the Ravenhill. Have him send out all of his kin to survey the area around Dale and Lake-town for Bilbo and Ori. We can at least get an aerial search started. Let him know that for his help, I will gladly gift him a satchel of the brightest set of gold beads that he will ever lay his eyes on." They nodded solemnly and dashed after Glóin's retreating back.
"Master Óin," Thorin called out, startling the Dwarf, "if you can be so kind as to look at Master Borin's injuries, I would be much obliged. I promised him that you could provide the proper healing salves to expedite his recovery."
"I most definitely can, your Majesty!" Óin puffed his chest out, looking supremely pleased by the king's high regard of his talents. "I shall get to it at once!"
There was a pause as Thorin considered how he should divide up the rest of his team while everyone eagerly waited for their set of orders. "I plan to ride to Dale to speak to King Bard," Thorin finally admitted, "but I cannot bring everyone with me or else I will risk drawing too much attention to myself and the purpose of my visit. I am thinking of travelling with two other companions, no more than three."
"I am going with you," Dwalin growled out, his tone and hard gaze brook no argument. It wasn't as if Thorin was surprised by Dwalin's swift decision either. His friend was not one to sit idly by when there was a chance for him to be doing something to help, especially when there was so much at risk from failure. It would be cruel to deny him otherwise.
"I am going as well," Dori suddenly spoke up and that took Thorin, along with all the other remaining Dwarves, by surprise. "If there is anything I can do for Ori – " His voice broke and he shook his head. "I am going," he repeated simply, stubbornly.
"I will stay, your Majesty. Someone has to prepare the gold as per the kidnappers' request," Balin calmly volunteered. He added with a hint of sarcasm, "Not to mention, one of us has to suffer through the tediousness of paperwork once Master Nori and Master Glóin return to report their missions."
"Bombur, Bifur and I will help Master Balin! It is cruel to leave a Dwarf alone with nothing but paperwork for company," Bofur said jovially with a cheeky wink to Balin. The advisor rolled his eyes in Bofur's direction in mock exasperation.
"Thank you, brave heroes for saving me from this cruel and unusual torture," Balin deadpanned and Thorin found himself reluctantly smiling at the display. Leave it to Balin to retain all of his wits and dry sarcasm even in the most dire of situations.
Dáin grinned widely at Balin. "How very noble of you, Master Balin," he exclaimed, bright and energetic, "but unlike you, I am not above running from the dreaded paperwork, and run I shall, now that I have been given the perfect excuse to do so!" He signed a quick 'thank you' in Iglishmêk to the scowling, unimpressed advisor. "I leave this camp in Master Balin and Master Frór's very capable hands and, if my cousin doesn't mind, I would very much like to pay King Bard a visit as well."
"Now that everyone knows what we're doing, what are we waiting for?" Dwalin grunted. "Let's go."
=====
"Can you see anything?" Ori asked breathlessly. He shifted his stance and tightened his grip on Bilbo's feet to keep him steady.
"No," Bilbo called out, gripping the window ledge to keep himself more balanced while standing on Ori's shoulders. The last thing he wanted was to fall and crush his already injured friend. "All I see is grass, more grass and – oh, I think I might hear a roaring river nearby!"
"But can you see the river?"
"No, there is nothing to see out of this window. If this is how it looks like from all directions, then we are literally stuck in the middle of nowhere." Bilbo scanned the area again in some vain hope that he will spot something more interesting. "A grassy, flat piece of nowhere," he repeated, defeated. "Alright, you can lower me down now. We will have to come up with another plan."
It wasn't the first time that Bilbo and Ori were met with disappointment that evening. Immediately after Haldan had left and Ori was freed from his rope bindings, he and Bilbo searched frantically through their pockets. "My knife, my slingshot and my money are gone," Ori said, running a hand through his dishevelled hair. His eyes widened when he felt something else missing and he blurted out, "did they cut off my braid?!"
Bilbo paused his rummaging and looked up."Oh, you are missing a braid!" He made a disgusted face, "What could they possibly do with that?"
"I don't know and I don't want to know either," Ori replied sullenly. He wrapped his arms protectively over his chest, looking so miserable that Bilbo's heart ached for the Dwarf. "I just wished they had cut from a different spot on my head. My mother gave me the ribbon that was used to tie that braid!"
"I'll get it back for you, Ori," Bilbo promised, his hand already reaching into his pocket where he usually kept his tell-tale velvet pouch. "I just need to put on my – " He paused mid-sentence when he felt the lining of his very empty pocket. Frantically, he patted himself down, despairing that he could not feel his ring on his person. "Those thieving scoundrels!" he exclaimed, "They stole my ring!"
He chose to ignore the irony of that statement and how he had essentially done the same to that creature in the Misty Mountains.
"Now what do we do?" Ori asked, his eyes catching on the waning beam of sunlight that fell on a patch of broken floor board. "At least we have a window in here to let us know what time of the day it is. It looks like we still have a little bit of daylight left before night falls."
No sooner had Ori finished uttering those words that he and Bilbo widened their eyes in realization. Together in unison, they followed the light beam to its source with their gaze, craning their heads until they spotted the round, little window high above them. Neither of them could reach it alone but maybe if one was standing on top the other's shoulders...
Bilbo and Ori exchanged long glances at each other.
And this was what brought them to their current predicament.
"It's a shame that neither of us could fit through that space," Bilbo mused when they had finally taken a seat on the floor to think of a new escape plan. "If only I had my ring back, I could have used that to sneak out when they bring us our food. I could use it to steal the keys to this door and find our belongings." He rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands, groaning in frustration. This entire situation was reminding him too much of the miserable experience he had in Thranduil's hall. He had joked darkly to himself at that time, in a sad attempt to keep his spirit up, that escaping from captivity was one of those once in a lifetime experiences that makes for a good pub story. That was, of course, before his meeting with Smaug which, as far as pub stories go, trumps every single one in Bilbo's repertoire.
He really did not need to go through yet another capture again.
"I think I might have heard one of the men talk about your ring."
Bilbo whipped his head up to stare at Ori. The young Dwarf had seated himself comfortably with his back against the wall, his legs stretched out in front of him, and his clasped hands resting over his belly. His eyes were looking up at the ceiling, lost in thought. "When I first woke up, the men were arguing loudly about who got to keep it. A fight broke out and things got ugly until one of them strong armed his way into victory." Ori pinched the bridge of his nose, scrunching his face in concentration. "I'm pretty sure they called him Galion."
"Great," Bilbo muttered, burying his face in his hands again. Just when he thought his luck could not get any more rotten. "They probably discovered what it can do. Why else would they be fighting over it like that?"
"It will be alright, Mister Baggins. We've been through worse." Ori got up, dusted himself off and took a seat beside Bilbo. He gently nudged the Hobbit with his shoulders, earning him a small smile from his friend. "It's a shame that we had to miss that meeting with the King though. I wonder what he wanted to see us all for?" He pulled back, alarmed, when Bilbo started to choke violently. "Are you alright, Mister Baggins? Was it something I said?" he asked in distress.
Bilbo was saved from having to explain himself when the door swung open and one of their captors stumbled in. A pungent smell of alcohol came wafting after him, flooding the room.
"Well, well, well! Would ya look at that! How're you gents doin' this fine ev'ning?" The newcomer slurred out loudly. His eyes were fever bright, his dark hair and beard were scraggly, and his mouth was stretched into a too-wide grin that showcased his yellowing teeth. He took an unsteady step forward, almost falling face-first to the ground from the dangerous way that he was swaying, but he regained his footing at the last second. He was holding a short dagger in one hand and in the other, a set of brass keys. They jingled with every swing of his arms.
Bilbo stayed completely still and glared darkly at the man. As far as enemies go, he wasn't terribly impressive; he was much shorter than his other companions, barely standing an inch or two taller than Thorin by Bilbo's estimation. However, whereas the Dwarf's strength and solid build could more than make up for his lack of height, their new visitor was rail thin.
"Oh come on luv, don't be like that! I just wanna talk is all!" The man cooed when neither Bilbo nor Ori returned his greeting. He cocked his head to the side and swung his knife at them, adding in a sing-song voice, "Now which one of yous could tell me more 'bout that pretty lil' ring of yours?"
That question took Bilbo by surprise but he did not react outwardly at all. From the corner of his eyes, he could see that Ori had also kept his face stony.
He did not miss the way that the Dwarf's eyes kept flicking to the set of keys either.
"Ring? What ring?" Bilbo asked politely, his mind quickly coming up with an idea to escape. He glanced at Ori and nodded his head just a fraction, hoping that the Dwarf would catch on, and then he quickly turned his attention back to their captor. "I don't know anything about any rings," he repeated.
The man laughed a dry raspy laugh. "Come now, don't play dumb. I'm talking 'bout the ring we found on you. The magic ring!"
Bilbo rubbed at his chin, making a show of concentrating on his thoughts before he broke into a bright smile. "Oh! Yes, that magic ring! Why, I woke up and found it missing and you cannot imagine my distress!" He planted his hands on his hips as he levelled the man with a disapproving look. "I hope you gentlemen have plans to return it! That ring means a great deal to me!" He did not dare to turn to Ori as the Dwarf slowly edged away from him.
"Oh no, no, no, we wouldn't dare," the man shook his head fervently with gross exaggeration. Bilbo was unimpressed by what horrible liar he was. "But you see, Master Hafling, me and my – " he hiccupped, "me and my companions were real impressed by this ring of yours and we just...wanna borrow it, is all. To take a look!" He looked extremely pleased with himself, no doubt thinking that his fast wit had fooled Bilbo. "We'd be happy to return it to ya if you can maybe tell us where to get s'more?"
Bilbo blinked. "Some more?" he echoed dumbly because honestly, he had never heard anything more ridiculous. Were they expecting him to keep a stash of magic rings in his tent?
"Yes, of course!" The man nodded eagerly, his large grin was threatening to split his face but his eyes were dark and hungry. He stumbled towards Bilbo and the Hobbit automatically backed away to keep out of reach from the knife. "You must be able to get yer hands on s'more! You're friends with that Wizard aren't ya? And you're friends with those Elves and with Bard and with them Dwarves as well!" The man shuffled closer, forcing Bilbo to take another uneasy step back. "And don't even get me started on them Dwarves! Everyone knows 'bout you and Thorin!"
Bilbo flinched. "Me and Thorin?" he squeaked out.
"Yes! You and Thorin and your...epic love story!" The drunk threw his hands up impatiently with the knife and the keys still in his grip. "It's out for the whole bloody world to hear, what with 'em ballads – whatsit called? 'The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins' and 'The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Oakenshield'! And let's not forget about them suggestive drawings on those pamphlets!"
Bilbo felt a flood of mortification came over him. By the makers, was he and Thorin the last to know about their mutual attraction? He glanced quickly at Ori, who was almost behind their captor, and caught the Dwarf mouthing the words 'I'm so sorry' back at him. Ori looked extremely sheepish.
"W-well, you're...absolutely right!" Bilbo ended with false cheer, trying to regain control of the situation while not glaring at Ori for those images. "About my...my relationship with Thorin and my friendship with the Elves, with King Bard and with Gandalf." He leaned slightly forward and dropped his voice to whisper conspiratorially, "I also know where to get more of those rings, but to do that, you...uh..." He wracked his brain for an answer.
"Yes, go on, wot is it?" the man demanded none too kindly.
"You..uh...you will need," Bilbo stammered. "You will need to – duck!"
He rolled out of the way just as Ori launched himself on their captor's back, sending them both crashing violently into the ground. The knife and the keys flew out of the man's grip and they skittered across the floor in different directions. Torn between the two items, it took Bilbo a split second longer to decide on grabbing the keys first before he could dash over to where he thought he had seen them land. Meanwhile, he could hear Ori desperately wrestling the man into submission, and he blocked out their pained grunts to focus on his search. The darkness of the room and the multiple holes in the broken planks made spotting the keys extremely difficult and Bilbo, frustrated, immediately got to his knees, groping around blindly for the lost item with shaking hands and a racing heart.
Come on, where is it? Where is it? He thought frantically as sweat began to bead his brow. His fingers brushed against an object – a solid ring – and the resounding clink it made was the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. Yes, found it!
Ori's pained cry startled Bilbo out of his premature sense of victory and the Hobbit whirled around just in time to see his friend being forced to his knees by their captor. Gripping tightly on Ori's hair with one hand, the man pulled the Dwarf's head back, exposing the pale length of his vulnerable neck. His other hand drew out a second, concealed knife from his belt and he pressed the blade menacingly against Ori's jugular.
"You shouldn't have done that, Dwarf!" The man spat out, his face filled with terrifying rage. "Just for that, I'm gonna slit yer throat open in front of yer friend!"
"What in the – Aldor, you idiot, stop! We need him alive!"
Three other figures rushed into the room with two of them pulling the drunk – Aldor, Bilbo's mind supplied – away from Ori. The third man beelined straight towards Bilbo and had him pinned face-first to the ground before he could fight back. The Hobbit desperately twisted to get himself loose but to no avail and he let out a cry in protest when he felt the keys wrenched forcibly out of his hands.
"You got him, Mallor?"
"Yes, Galion," answered the man who was holding him down and Bilbo felt the hand gripping his shoulder tightened painfully. "He isn't going anywhere."
Bilbo raised his head as best he could from his pinned position. Galion? Wasn't that the one who has his ring?
"Good," Galion grunted distractedly as he tried to hold a violently thrashing Ori still, but the Dwarf was having none of it. Ori was fighting like a mad man; he was clawing at his captor's tunics, throwing wild kicks that end up missing more than anything. "For the love of the Gods, Aldor! What the hell did you do?"
"He accosted us!" Bilbo shouted desperately before Aldor could get a word in edgewise. "He came in drunk and attacked us!"
"Wait, what? That's not true at all!" Aldor looked up and snarled. He was held in a grappling hold by the large man, the one from before who was present during Haldan's visit.
"We were minding our own business and he came in waving a knife at us, muttering something about magic! We were acting entirely on self defence!" Bilbo cried out, loud enough to drown out Aldor's spluttering protests. "I thought Haldan didn't want us dead! Wait until he hears about this! I'm going to have a word with him!"
"Now, now, Master Hobbit, let's not be too hasty!" Galion replied, having finally subdued Ori by pinning him to the ground in a similar hold that kept Bilbo from escaping. "I'm sure that this is all just a massive misunderstanding! Our friend here overindulged and you know how people can be with a bit of liquid courage warming their bellies. Isn't that right, Aldor?"
Aldor mumbled something unpleasant under his breath, but even in his state, he could recognize the cold, dangerous glint in Galion's gaze. He nodded once, cowed into submission.
"See? No hard feelings, right?" Galion grinned, sharply. "Now, is there something else that we could bring you before we go, gentlemen?"
"Bandages and salves," Bilbo gritted out, remembering Ori's cry of pain. "And a pan of fresh water."
"Of course! We shall have that for you soon. Have a pleasant evening!"
Bilbo felt himself being roughly released and he promptly rolled over to his back, wincing at the tightness of his joints and the lingering ache in his muscles. He waited until he heard the door close and the sound of retreating footsteps fade before clamouring to his feet.
"Ori! Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Ori replied, pale-faced and shaking as Bilbo helped him sit up. "Just got my leg hurt on a piece of floor board during that tussle. It's nothing. What's more important is that the plan was a complete success!"
Bilbo watched Ori reach into the folds of his tunic to pull out a familiar velvet pouch. "I pick pocketed this from Galion." He grinned, tossing the bag back to a visibly gobsmacked Bilbo. "It looks like we got the ring back!"
-----
Author's Notes:
Thank you everyone for all your lovely reviews/comments/kudos/favourites/recs! As always, knowing that there are people out there who are enjoying this is the best motivation that anyone can get! I *do* read all of the comments that you leave me and I try to respond to all of them as well (except if they were left as anon on ffnet, then sorry, I can't respond to those! Rest assured, I have read them though!) Please let me know how you are enjoying this chapter and many, many thanks once again! Hopefully, the next part will really bring us to the end of this fic, ha!
Notes about this chapter:
[1] I made the assumption that a gold coin from Erebor has a gold content of 10 grams/coin, which is higher than a Julius Caesar Aureus coin (8.18 grams). 1 coin is the modern equivalent of $402 US. Based on the ransomer's demand, Haldan and his crew are walking away with a total of approximately $10 million. Divide this up by five people and we have $2 million per person. On top of that, those $2 million weigh about 110 lb. Quite heavy!
They couldn't ask for anymore because they couldn't carry anything heavier while making a fast getaway.
I also made the assumption that each Ereborean gold coin is the size of a Canadian/American quarter. Those $2 million worth of coins can fit neatly into a 8 inch x 9 inch x 5 inch box. For non-Americans, that's 20.3 cm x 22.9 cm x 12.7 cm.
And that's entirely wayyyy too much math than anyone cares to know. If you're still reading this, you deserve a cookie.
[2] Bilbo's flash back to the Fell Winter (T.A. 2911 – 2912): Bilbo was 22 years old at the time. I took some creative liberties and assumed that he was a young child.
[3] Fili, Kili and the Ravens: I am operating on the assumption that Fili and Kili do not know Raven-speech. Fortunately, Roäc spoke Westron and like most Ravens, enjoys shiny things, which explains Thorin's payment of 'brightest golden beads'.
Part 1 here. Clicky clicky! Also, comments are love!
Bilbo wasn’t sure why he had not told Thorin about his incident with Borin. He supposed that in the wake of Dáin’s sincere apology, he was lulled into believing that this situation was resolved and that he could put the memory of that nasty encounter behind him.
Bilbo should have known that things had never gone smoothly for him, at least not since Gandalf had shown up and tempted him away from the safety of his Hobbit hole.
From across the field, he could feel Borin’s gaze burn into the back of his head, causing the hair on his nape to rise. It would have been so easy to turn around and return the Dwarf’s hard glare or to walk on over and confront Borin on his boorish, unpleasant attitude, consequences be damned.
I earned my position as a member of Thorin’s Company and as Thorin’s advisor with tears, sweat and blood, an angry (and decidedly Tookish) part of Bilbo’s mind rallied for the fifth time that afternoon, I ought to go over there and give him a piece of my mind!
Bilbo paused in his digging, his fingers gripping so tightly on the trowel’s wooden handle that his knuckles turned bone white, but he forced himself to breathe deeply through his nose. Slowly, he exhaled, letting the tense muscles in his shoulders, his arms and his back relax.
It was unusual for his temper to flare up like that, but Borin’s passive aggressive display had been going on for close to a week already. With every passing hour, Bilbo could feel himself becoming more on edge, making him more snappish and irritable than usual. The only thing holding him back from a fight was his sensible, Baggins’ nature reminding him that it would be most inappropriate to squabble in the fields like a pair of schoolchildren.
“Is he bothering you again, Mister Baggins?” Haldan asked softly from his spot a few feet to Bilbo’s right. Like the Hobbit, he was crouched over the soil with his back determinately facing the Iron Hills Dwarf. He daren’t turn around to look behind him least he accidentally start a confrontation.
“It’s nothing,” Bilbo grunted and went back to his seed planting. “It is just a bit of excessive glaring on his part. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“It is downright unnerving, that’s what it is!” Haldan huffed crossly. He imbedded his trowel into the earth before stretching his stiff back and shoulders. “I don’t know how you can stand it. I could barely get through yesterday with the way that Borin and that other one were breathing down my neck.”
“Frór,” Bilbo automatically corrected. He stopped and turned to Haldan in surprise, “Wait, they have been giving you grief too?”
“Aye. I could feel their eyes following me wherever I go. It’s a tad eerie.”
Bilbo had found himself spending more time with Haldan out in the field ever since that Incident. They had unexpectedly bonded through their mutual love of farming, their mutual dislike of the Iron Hills advisors, and their mutual feeling of inadequacy for their posts as their Kings’ advisors. Although Bilbo has been enjoying this newfound friendship, (more importantly, at finding someone whom he could talk about gardening without their eyes glazing over like Thorin’s tend to do), he suspected that his proximity with Haldan inadvertently made the other advisor a target.
“Maybe they are picking on you because they see us working together,” Bilbo frowned, not at all liking the idea but he was honest enough to admit its plausibility. “If that is the case, then I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess.”
Haldan shrugged and gave Bilbo a crooked grin, “Don’t worry about me, Mister Baggins. Glares of disapproval are nothing new to me. Although …” he trailed off as he slowly uncurled from his crouched position to sit cross-legged and straight-backed on the ground. “Are they this bold when King Thorin is around as well? Surely, the King must have noticed their open display of animosity towards you.” He looked around his surroundings questioningly and asked, “Speaking of which, where is the King this fine afternoon?”
Bilbo gently patted down the small mound of soil over his newly planted seeds as he answered, “Thorin has been rather busy with making all the necessary arrangements for the arrival of the Blue Mountain Dwarves. He isn’t working at the farms today because of that.”
This time, it was Haldan’s turn to look at Bilbo in confusion. “The Blue Mountain Dwarves have arrived already? I thought they would take a lot longer to get here.”
“The travel conditions were much better than they had all anticipated so their journey was swifter than predicted. They haven’t arrived yet; I think they still have a few more days to travel.” Bilbo inched forward and dug another small hole in the ground. He muttered a quick thanks to Haldan when the advisor wordlessly handed him a new satchel of seeds. “Apparently Gandalf is traveling with them. Having a Wizard in the party probably helped too.”
“A Wizard? Gandalf?! As in Gandalf the Grey?” Bilbo heard Haldan’s characteristic squeak and he raised a brow at his friend’s nervousness. The Hobbit wondered what sort of reputation the Wizard must have had among the Men to have garnered such a look of nervous awe from Haldan.
“Oh, he’s harmless. I wouldn’t worry about him.” Bilbo said, purposely sounding uninterested in hopes of calming Haldan. The advisor tended to get easily worked up over any sort of unexpected surprise. Eru only knows how the knowledge of Gandalf’s arrival is doing to Haldan’s heart.
“Although,” Bilbo added distractedly, suddenly remembering a memory from a lifetime ago, “he does have the habit of walking into someone’s life, completely disrupting their plans unapologetically and he won’t take ‘Good Morning’ as an answer to go away.”
Haldan paled further and choked out, “Disrupting plans?!”
It had occurred to Bilbo (not for the first time since getting to know Haldan, if he was honest with himself) that the advisor would be perfectly suited as a Hobbit what with his love of greenery and his fear of unpredictability.
“Well, I hardly doubt he would interfere with the matters of the Men.” Or at least Bilbo hoped so for the sake of Haldan’s sanity. “I’m sure you will get along fine with him. He even got along with Thorin and all of the others.”
“Why wouldn’t anyone get along with King Thorin or the Company?” Haldan asked, his curiosity distracting him from his panic.
Bilbo scoffed. “The first time I met the Dwarves,” he began as he slowly buried more seeds, “they barged into my home, cleaned out my pantry, ruined the plumbing of my house, threw my plates and cutleries around while singing, and tracked mud all over the floor.” He reached for a nearby sprouting weed and violently wrenched it out of the earth. Haldan flinched.
“Then,” Bilbo whirled around with the plant clutching unnecessarily tightly in his hand, “Thorin showed up and not even a minute into the meeting he had completely dismissed me by calling me a grocer. And let me tell you,” Bilbo pointed the leafy portions of the weed at Haldan, wielding it like a pointer stick, “he hadn’t meant it as a compliment either!”
Haldan grimaced. “They sounded like they were real menaces.”
“They most certainly were!” Bilbo harrumphed and tossed the weed into an empty burlap sack that Haldan had dutifully handed over.
“So,” Haldan started after a brief moment of silence, “what made you change your mind about King Thorin?”
“Oh, a lot of things.” Bilbo said without looking up. He wiped the sweat off his brow with a grimace, but he carried on with his planting. “His loyalty, for one, and his stubborn dedication to do right by his people without sparing a single thought to what his actions would do to his own health. His courage that borderlines on insanity,” Bilbo shook his head at that in displeasure. “I mean, who else would be willing to confront a live dragon with just thirteen other people? Madness, complete madness!”
“When you turn the table and do something courageous to help him, he yells at you for being foolish! Seeds please,” Bilbo reached into the bag of seeds that was handed to him and scattered a handful into the little well he had dug into the soil. He automatically gave the seed pouch back to Haldan once he was done. “Afterwards, he would hover around you for days on end despite you insisting that you are perfectly fine, thank you very much! But of course, he won’t listen because he is immensely over-protective and he probably feels guilty for having failed you, which is utterly ridiculous because he is setting himself up for failure from the unreasonably high standard he has for himself.”
“And don’t get me started on his dry, sarcastic sense of humour that he wields like a weapon or…or his singing!” Bilbo uprooted a tuft of yellow foxtail and tossed it in the bag with the other weeds. He then traded the sack for the bag of seeds that Haldan was holding. “That blasted Ballad of Bilbo Baggins was downright mesmerizing to listen to when he sings using the deepest register of his voice, but Eru forbid if you say anything. It will only inflate his ego.”
“And he – what?” Bilbo interrupted himself when he spotted the happy, warm grin that Haldan was wearing.
“I’m glad to know that the announcement is real after all!” Haldan reached for Bilbo’s free hand, the one not clutching the bag of seeds, and gave him an enthusiastic handshake. “Congratulations!”
Bilbo’s immediate response was to blink up at his friend in confusion. “I’m sorry, but…what?”
“Your relationship with King Thorin, of course!” Haldan said with good cheer although a flicker of self-doubt crossed his face. “What? Are the two of you not in a courtship? You are the talk of the camp!”
In that instance, Bilbo felt everything around him coming to a halt.
Wait, what?
What?
“What?” Bilbo croaked out, his mouth gone very, very dry. The bag of seeds slipped from his listless fingers and fell to the ground unnoticed.
Haldan’s hands flew over his mouth, “I’m so, so sorry, Mister Baggins,” he began to babble nervously, “I just thought that you were trying to make an announcement from those pamphlets that were circulating the camp…not that I could read them because they were written in Khuzdûl, but I though the images were especially telling since they were so romantic and…and…” Haldan gulped and wheezed out in the tiniest of voice, “I am going to stop talking now.”
Announcement? Pamphlets?!
A million and one thoughts were swimming around Bilbo’s head, most of them were variations of exclamations like, ‘What?” and ‘Oh Eru’. Still, the Hobbit managed to say, if a little woodenly from shock, “Show me.”
If he were more coherent, Bilbo would have been proud to have managed even that.
Haldan rubbed the back of his neck in discomfort as he reached into his tunic with his free hand. “Promise me you will not panic,” he pleaded desperately. Again, if Bilbo was more coherent, he would have appreciated the irony of being told this by Haldan of all people.
And then, he saw the pamphlet.
=====
He panicked.
=====
“Thorin!” Bilbo burst through their tent in alarm, his clothing rumpled and his hair wild from the hurried pony ride he had taken to return back to the camp. “Thorin! You have to see this!”
The tent was disappointingly empty, but from the scattered paper and the mug of half drunk tea that lay on Thorin’s desk, Bilbo would guess that the Dwarf had just recently left outside.
Heaving a desperate sigh, Bilbo dragged himself to the nearest chair – Thorin’s – and collapsed right into it.
This is a right disaster, he thought glumly while bringing his hand up to massage his temple. For the first time in a long while, the Hobbit was at a complete loss as to what he should do. According to Haldan, these pamphlets had been circulating for the past week and were extremely popular within the Dwarven army. How was it possible for something so big to have gone on for a week without him or Thorin noticing?
Bilbo pulled out the now crumbled pamphlet from his jacket pocket and flipped to the first page, hoping to understand its purpose more. Imbedded amongst the neat, even lines of cirth was a stunning image of what looked like Bilbo and Thorin’s wedding day. The two were dressed in spectacular costumes and they were standing at the altar with their hands clasped. The Hobbit cringed at the tender, besotted look that Bilbo from the drawing was giving to his groom.
Dear Eru, just how obvious were his feelings for the Dwarf that some unknown artist would have been able to pick them up? Did he really look like some love drunk Hobbitling whenever he looked at Thorin? If that was the case, it was a miracle that the Dwarf was still willing to put up with his foolishness. It was either that or Thorin valued his friendship to the point of not wanting to hurt his feelings, even if it meant that the Dwarven King had to endure being awkwardly fawned over.
Bilbo ignored the stinging in his eyes and determinately flipped to the second page. This time, it had an image of the two battling some large, serpentine mystical creature together. Bilbo snorted at the look of ferociousness that the Hobbit in the drawing was sporting. Alright, perhaps the artist had not based his characters’ expressions on those belonging to their real life counterparts. There was no way that Bilbo could ever sport that impressive look of protective viciousness.
Bilbo placed the open pamphlet on his lap to press his palms into his tired eyes. He let loose a weary groan filled with abject misery. As much as he hated to admit it, the Hobbit still could not understand the purpose of these pamphlets. Were they created to mock him and the King? The sheer beauty of these drawings suggested otherwise. It was obvious that the artist had taken great care to portray Thorin and Bilbo as accurately as possible, exaggerated expressions of adoration and determination aside. The attention to detail on the characters was particularly praise-worthy, especially from the way the artist had drawn the delicate folds of clothing, the realistic hair texture, the vividness of the characters’ frozen, happy expressions…
Bilbo slowly traced Thorin’s inked profile with his finger, feeling the smoothness of the paper beneath his touch. If the images were meant to be a mockery, Bilbo and Thorin would have been drawn as crude caricatures of themselves doing equally crude things rather than...hold hands and fight terrible creatures. Whoever the artist was, it was evident that not only has he created these drawings as a labour of love, but he held great respect for the Hobbit and his King.
Bilbo found himself unexpectedly cheered with that conclusion in mind. At least Thorin and he were not hated.
That’s right, Bilbo Baggins, he thought a little desperately as he mindlessly flipped to the third and last page of the pamphlet, just keep looking for that silver lining.
On a whim, he peered down at the page and he froze, his face heating immediately.
There, in all of its black and white glory, was an image of Thorin and Bilbo locked in a very passionate embrace, kissing fervently without a care in the world.
Bilbo stared, entranced.
There was absolutely nothing innocent about the kiss in that picture; the two were pressed together, hungrily devouring each other’s mouths. Bilbo was desperately clutching at Thorin’s surcoat while Thorin was cupping the back of Bilbo’s head with one hand, the other wrapped firmly around the Hobbit’s waist. Thorin’s chest armour was missing and his tunic was open, allowing a tantalizing glimpse of naked skin. A few dark strands of the Dwarf’s hair lay curled just above his clavicle, and Bilbo suppressed the ridiculous urge to reach over and tuck these strands back with the rest of his hair that was cascading over his broad, muscled back.
Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Bilbo unbuttoned his collar to alleviate the heat he was feeling. He wondered what it would feel like to have Thorin hold him like that, to have Thorin’s large, strong hands boldly skimming across his back, his hips, his chest, to feel his soft kisses trail down the column of his neck.
A hand landed on his shoulder, and he jumped out of his seat, screaming. The Hobbit whirled around, pressing his back against the desk to face the intruder.
“My apologies for startling you, Bilbo,” Thorin greeted pleasantly. His hands were raised in a universal sign of harmlessness. “I’m surprised to see you back so early! What were you looking at that has gotten you so distracted…”
To Bilbo’s horror, Thorin’s eyes trailed to the floor and landed on the pamphlet that fell off of Bilbo’s lap in his mad dash to get off the chair.
And it just so happened that the pamphlet was opened to the very same page with that very same image that had inspired him to daydream.
The two stood still in awkward silence. Thorin looked at the image with his brows furrowed, looked up at Bilbo, then looked back down at the image again to Bilbo’s growing mortification.
Don’t panic, don’t panic, Bilbo thought, racking his brain to come up with a rational explanation that will not make him seem like a complete pervert.
He failed. He sensibly decided to start praying fervently for the floor to swallow him whole instead.
Thorin wordlessly picked up the pamphlet and he started to casually flip through the rest of the pages. Compelled to give some sort of an explanation, Bilbo blurted out, “I, um, just found out about this just now. This is why I’m here. Early. Why I came back early. To, er, show you.”
The Hobbit winced. That was absolutely horrible. Why was it that he could be relatively eloquent when facing Gollum or Smaug but he could not even string together a proper sentence in front of Thorin? He swallowed heavily and tried again, “Mister Haldan gave it to me. I-I’ve been look at these images to try and figure out what they meant –”
“Is that the only reason?”
Bilbo paused at the calm and neutral way Thorin had posed that question. “I beg your pardon?” he asked, a bit taken aback.
“Is that the only reason that you were staring?” Thorin repeated. This time, his tone was low, bitter and mocking. “Is that the only reason why you were mesmerized to the point of not noticing that I was right behind you, even after I called out your name three times?”
The automatic ‘yes’ was at the tip of his tongue but a spark of irritation held Bilbo back. Who was Thorin to be challenging his response in such a mocking manner? Also, what did Thorin expect him to say? Of course he would give an answer that would best preserve the peace between them, even if it meant he had to distort the truth a bit. It wasn’t any easier on Bilbo, who had to scramble to hide the heart that he has on his sleeve.
Why can’t the Dwarf be happy with the answer that was given and instead, why must he insist on poking at the hornet’s nest?
Fine, Bilbo thought, resigned. He was hurt, angry and just plain tired, and in that moment, he wanted nothing but to be out of this terrible situation so that he may crawl under his covers and sleep for a week. If he wanted the truth so badly, he could have it.
Bilbo returned Thorin’s challenging glare, brought his chin up and gritted out, “No.”
Thorin pushed his chair aside and stalked towards him in three fluid strides. Bilbo automatically backed into the last bit of space that was available to him, his back now digging painfully into the edge of the desk. Belatedly, Bilbo realized that Thorin had him trapped.
“Then pray tell, Master Hobbit, what other reasons do you have?” Thorin whispered. He was staring at Bilbo with a dark, intense hunger that he was not familiar with and it sent shivers running down the Hobbit’s spine.
“I just,” Bilbo stammered, unsure of how to continue. He wanted to have everything that was in that image. He wanted to be kissed, he wanted to be touched, he wanted not to be alone, he wanted to be happy, he wanted to be loved.
He wanted Thorin.
“I just wanted,” Bilbo breathed out brokenly, desperately, and wishing that Thorin could finally understand.
“Bilbo,” Thorin murmured, anger seemingly drained away at the confession. Bilbo closed his eyes and steeled his resolve for rejection.
Which was why he was surprised when Thorin leaned into the last couple of inches to capture the Hobbit’s lips.
Bilbo exhaled, sharp and shaky. For all of Thorin’s strength, Bilbo would never have imagined he could kiss so gently, so softly. His lips brushed lightly against Bilbo’s, leaving the barest warm pressure behind, as if he was afraid that the Hobbit will shatter if he pressed forward any more. The mere thought was enough to spark the growing feelings of need and want within Bilbo’s chest, and with his mind made up, Bilbo reached up so that both of his hands were caressing the side of Thorin’s face. Slowly, he angled his head to deepen the kiss, swiping his tongue invitingly over Thorin’s closed lips.
The deep, shuddering groan that Bilbo received in response sent a delicious thrill of satisfaction through him and all at once, the kiss went from soft and chaste to being hungry, desperate and urgent. Thorin’s arms wound their way tight around Bilbo, dropping the pamphlet uncaringly to the floor as his hands spread possessively across the span of his back to press the Hobbit even closer. Bilbo instinctively arched into the kiss, enjoying the intimate slide of his tongue against Thorin’s while he basked in the feel of the King’s solid chest against his own. His hands moved so that one could card through the Dwarf’s hair while the other could slide down his neck to clutch at his broad shoulder. Bilbo felt like he would be perfectly content if he could spend eternity within Thorin’s hold, surrounded by the familiar scent of sandalwood and metal that he had come to associate with his Dwarven King. For the first time in a long while, Bilbo felt protected, warm, and very much wanted.
In an amount of time that Bilbo believed was entirely way too short, Thorin pulled out of the kiss, leaving the two panting for breath. Bilbo opened his eyes to stare dazedly back, blinking owlishly at the Dwarf. Thorin looked utterly wrecked, his pupils were blown wide with barely the ring of hazel showing, his lips was kiss-chapped and red, and his hair was dishevelled.
He was also sporting the world’s largest grin as if he had just won the world’s greatest prize.
“Bilbo,” Thorin said, breathlessly and a bit disbelievingly. He leaned forward to rain small kisses against the corner of the Hobbit’s mouth, his smooth cheek and down the length of his pale neck. Bilbo whimpered and shivered in place, unable to do anything else besides tilting his head to grant the Dwarf more access. “I have wanted this for so long,” Thorin confessed, his breath and his beard tickling against soft, warm skin as his hands moved to rest comfortably over Bilbo’s hips, “I was waiting for the opportune time to tell you but I always find myself at a loss for words.”
Bilbo chuckled and he tightened his arms around Thorin. The sheer relief that was crashing through him made him feel heady. “And here I thought you weren’t interested in me at all.”
Thorin straightened up so that he may press his forehead against Bilbo’s, an intimate gesture that the Hobbit remembered them sharing some few months back. “It seemed like we make quite the pair,” the Dwarven King said, full of wry exasperation and Bilbo had to choke back his laugh that was bubbling up his throat.
Instead, he rolled his eyes and snorted. “Eru help us two oblivious idiots.”
Bilbo let himself be pulled into a second, a third and many more slow, languid kisses, his mouth parting against Thorin’s in a sense of new found familiarity that he was quickly becoming attached to.
There wasn’t much talking to be done for the rest of the evening.
=====
From his experiences as a professional thief, smuggler, hustler, and spy, Nori had learned very quickly to depend on not only his fine tuned senses to keep himself alive, but also to listen to his gut instinct that something bad was going to happen.
That very gut instinct had been sending him warning signals since he had received an order from the King to meet at the royal tent. It was practically screaming at him to run far, far away, now that he had settled himself comfortably on a chair beside the other restless Company members.
“Does anyone know why we’ve been called here?” Nori heard Bombur ask his brother a few seats away. “And has anyone seen Bilbo and Ori?”
“Master Ori and Master Baggins will be late. They are currently still at the farm,” Thorin answered as he strolled into the tent, his arms laden with scrolls. He beelined straight for his desk, unceremoniously depositing the pile on the table surface without caring about the mess that he had made. His presence immediately silenced the room. “We shall have to start the meeting without them.”
Nori shifted uneasily and his gaze flickering to the closest exit. Why did he have such a bad feeling about this?
“Dwarves,” Thorin called out in his usual, brusque manner once he had taken his seat. “It has come to my attention that there are stories being spread around the camp, stories involving Bilbo and I in a romantic relationship.”
Almost immediately, every Dwarf in the room tensed at the statement but surprisingly, nobody gave away any tells beyond that. Nori would have appreciated his friends’ surprisingly good poker faces if he wasn’t so busy trying to discretely nudge his seat closer to the tent’s only exit.
Thorin continued as if he had not noticed the sudden change in atmosphere. “Normally, I would dismiss these stories as harmless gossiping between the Dwarves, and I was happy to do just that until I have come to possess this interesting item.”
The King pulled out a crumbled but very familiar looking piece of rectangular paper.
Oh no, Nori thought with a sinking feeling in his stomach that everyone else was no doubt experiencing, he knows.
“I have seen one of these pamphlets before a couple of months back, but its content was nowhere as…ah, creative as this one.” Thorin flipped open to the first page, displaying the image of the King and Hobbit getting married at an altar. He looked at it briefly before turning back to the mortified Company members with his brows raised.
“Interesting choice of armour that I have on and I am rather fond of the flower crown on Bilbo’s head. I wonder whose brilliant idea that was,” he said lightly. Somewhere in the back of the room, Dori whimpered. He was the one who used his vast knowledge in floriography to help Ori in selecting the proper flowers that went into the crown.
“Oh, and let’s not forget this gem over here,” Thorin continued a bit too gleefully. The vindictive bastard was probably enjoying watching his friends squirm. He flipped to the second image – the one where the King and the Hobbit were fighting a great, big, ferocious creature – and held it up for everyone in the room to see. “Bilbo specifically wanted to give thanks to the author of this piece for giving him, and I quote, ‘super heroic powers at wielding any sort of weaponry,’ although he was certain that he would likely impale himself on anything heavier than Sting.” Thorin added with a smirk, “Whoever wrote this piece was also extremely fond of mentioning my ‘majestic handsomeness’. This term was used nineteen times within the short story. I counted.”
Fíli and Kíli sank deeper and deeper into their chairs, their faces flushed bright red. They were desperately looking at the floor, probably wishing for a place where they could crawl to so that they could die in embarrassment.
Meanwhile, Nori and Bofur shared a mutual look of deep seated fear. They were next.
“And finally, I have this –”
“Your Majesty!” Dáin called out urgently from the entrance and before Thorin could respond, he stormed into the tent. “There has been an incident!”
The Dwarf Lord’s eyes were wide with panic and he immediately thrust a piece of torn, parchment paper into Thorin’s hands.
“I received a ransom note and it came with these items.” Lying in Dáin’s open palm were a gold button inscribed with the initials B.B and a single, unravelling braid of brown hair plaited with a piece of purple ribbon.
“Master Baggins and Master Ori were taken.”
=====
AUTHOR'S NOTES! Cause that's exactly what you want to be reading after ploughing through this chapter! :D
As always, many many many thanks to all of you for your patience, even when this chapter took like 3 weeks to be released. Sorry about that! I've got some RL shit that needed to be taken care of! I anticipate the next chapter to be a bit slow as well so apologies in advance!
[1] Credit goes to elenorasweet who suggested (in Chapter 7’s comment) in using Aule and Yavanna to further justify Bilbo and Thorin’s marriage. I only wish that I could fit more than a fraction of elenorasweet’s wonderful headcanon. To those who are interested to read what she wrote, here’s the url:
http://archiveofourown.org/comments/3094847
[2] Klamath weed, more widely known as the St. John’s wort, is a mild herb commonly used to relieve muscle pain, anxiety and depression.
[3] I finally got to lay down several cards that I've been keeping a secret - the pamphlet's discovery, Bilbo and Thorin finally figuring shit out, and the kidnapping. The latter has been waiting in the backburner since Chapter 1 so I'm really glad that it's finally out in the open.
Please let me know if I'm forgetting to credit people to those I've commented/had conversations with re: this story! I want to make sure that everyone gets thanked properly! :D
Hold on to your pants. There's only the last chapter that remains!
Inevitable Chapter 9, aka the bane of my existence. (Part 1 :D)
This thing is a disgusting 13k word monster. I haven't finished editing this yet cause holy batman the length. Will revise before posting this on AO3 so if you want to wait for that semi-polished version, go right on ahead. It might take me like an additional hour to do that though 'cause I'm notoriously picky and anal like that.
For those of you impatient fuckers, I love you and I'm posting it here on Tumblr first. 'Cause you guys are awesome. <3
CHAPTER 9
Part. XIII Bilbo and Thorin
Bofur entered Balin’s brightly lit tent to the sight of what looked like a tense standoff between Dwalin and Dori, and he promptly fought the urge to turn right back around and leave. Some of the other Company members (read: Glóin, Óin and the princes) had already clustered themselves where the action was while watching the spectacle with sharp, keen eyes. Bofur, in comparison, could only sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose in quiet exasperation.
I guess today is going to be one of those days, Bofur’s resigned thoughts rang in his head. Just once, he would like to have a meeting with the Dwarves without having to tip-toe around the family drama surrounding Ori’s choice of partner and Dori’s intense disapproval of...pretty much Ori having a love life. Clearly, his wish for a fruitful, peaceful meeting where they could have deep discussions about their completely fictional interpretation of Thorin and Bilbo’s relationship died a quick death, which was utterly ridiculous since the meeting hasn’t even started yet and Bofur had arrived early.
And damn it all, he had been so looking forward to sharing his Bagginshield story to the rest of the group too!
Bofur quickly glanced around the room and he felt some of his tension leaving when he spotted his brother and cousin sitting huddled in a corner, both sporting identical, grim expressions that could give Bard’s a run for his money. At least his family had arrived and he has people with which he could wallow in misery.
“So, what’s going on this time?” Bofur muttered after quietly navigating to the two Dwarves. He shifted around in place a bit until he was seated crossed-leg with his back propped against the smooth surface of a nearby cabinet. The Dwarf had a feeling that he was in for a long explanation so he might as well take the initiative to make himself comfortable.
Bombur snorted, “Not sure. They’ve just been standing there…staring at each other for the past minute or so. Ori and Nori haven’t arrived yet so Dwalin is without his fighter to defend his honour and we are without our peacekeeper. Balin there doesn’t seem to care either way.” He waved his hand at the advisor some distance to his left, who was hunched over his desk, half buried in stacks of paperwork.
He did not show any signs of being aware of his surroundings beyond the occasional twitch of his hand from wielding his pen and the odd muttering here and there. Bofur stared bug-eyed at the old Dwarf. “You would think that he’d be a bit worried if a fight breaks out, if not for his brother than for the state of his tent,” the miner mused out loud. Bombur shrugged nonchalantly, his movement jostled free a shower of biscuit crumbs from his braided beard and they tumbled down the curve of his stomach.
Bifur scowled, tapped both of his cousins on the shoulders and signalled in Iglishmêk when he had their attention. ‘If they fight, we will have to be the ones to restrain Dori. Bofur and I will hold his arms and Bombur, you will tackle his legs.’
“Why not go for Dwalin instead?” Bombur leaned in to whisper. “Dori is the strongest Dwarf out of the Company and I’m not sure the three of us could stop him –”
“So Master Dwalin,” Dori’s shrilled voice neatly cut through the light murmuring in the room. “Have you been defiling anyone else’s little brothers lately?”
The brothers Ur collectively winced.
Bifur’s frown deepened and he resumed signalling again with a renewed sense of urgency. ‘The three of us can take him. Also, if you look closely, you will see that the others have strategically positioned themselves to dive at Dwalin at the first sign of trouble.’
Bofur turned his attention back at the group in question for a second glance. Bifur had a point; some time during their conversation, Glóin and Óin had discreetly moved closer to Dwalin until they were flanking him on both sides. Fíli and Kíli had also shifted towards the tall Dwarf from their relaxed lounge against the tent wall, and the princes were exchanging more and more frequent looks of unease as the time passed.
“Quite right,” Bofur agreed at the same time that Bombur let out an ‘oh!’ of understanding. “If that is the case, I think we should…” Bofur tilted his head meaningfully towards Dori. Sharing a final, determined nod, the three Dwarves scrambled up and stepped out of their secured little corner. They shimmied around the tent quietly until they were situated within grabbing distance of the eldest Ri brother. Óin gave the three a fleeting, knowing grin at their arrival.
“Master Dori,” Dwalin finally deigned to answer after a lengthy stretch of awkward silence. “I don’t make it a habit of defiling any Dwarves.” Bofur breathed a sigh of relief in his head at the lack of anger in the warrior’s reply, even if his posture was tense like a coiled up spring. Thank Durin that Dwalin has enough sense not to be so easily goaded into a fight. Maybe, just maybe, they could all get through this without devolving into utter chaos.
Bofur’s wishful thinking lasted a grand total of three seconds, which was the time it took for Dwalin’s serious expression to morph into a dark, reckless smirk. And then, as if Mahal was making it his personal mission to break Bofur’s optimistic spirit that evening, the warrior casually crossed his arms over his chest and added smugly, “The only thing I do is snog the adorable ones who call themselves Ori, and I like to do that preferably over a table.”
In that moment, the noise drained from the room except for the very audible gasp of shock that all the spectators shared. Glóin doubled over and started to guffaw, his hands slapping over his knee. Bofur closed his eyes in resignation. Here we go.
Dori let loose a massive roar so full of rage, it shook the earth beneath everyone’s feet. He bodily launched himself at Dwalin with his arms stretched out to claw a fistful of the warrior’s beard, only to be roughly pinned down by the Ur brothers an arm’s length away from reaching the warrior. Fíli and Kíli jumped into the fray a second later with Fíli boldly stepping between the two to deter any further attacks while Kíli helped Bofur and Bifur to hold the violently thrashing Dori in place. Meanwhile, Óin and Glóin each placed a heavy hand over Dwalin’s shoulders, but their efforts to restrain him were unnecessary; Dwalin had not moved from his spot except to raise his brows in surprise.
“I will not let you touch him, not when I am still alive and breathing!” Dori bellowed out dramatically. His face turned an alarming shade of purple-red from his continuous attempt to dislodge the four Dwarves on top of him.
“Please do not antagonize him any further, Master Dwalin!” Bofur pleaded as he strained to keep his grip on Dori’s right arm. He had already put his whole weight into immobilizing the Dwarf but even then, Dori was still strong enough to thrash around uselessly. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Bombur, Bifur and Kíli struggling just as much as he was.
Curse the wrathful old Dwarf and his unnatural strength!
“What…in Durin’s name is going on in this madhouse?” a deeply amused voice called out from the entrance, neatly interrupting the chaotic scene.
Nine pairs of eyes whipped towards the newcomer. Even Dori stopped to watch in surprise.
“Nori!” Bofur cried out, his otherwise happy greeting tinged with a hint of hysteria. “Thank goodness you are here! A little help would be much appreciated!”
No sooner had he uttered that sentence, Dori wriggled his arm loose from Bofur’s hold and delivered a swift upper cut to the miner’s chin. Bofur’s head snapped back from the strength of the blow, his teeth clacking together loudly. A second blow quickly followed, this time to the stomach, (an elbow, Bofur realized belatedly), and he was sent sprawling backwards head first into the fur lined ground.
Dori did not waste any more time. He reached behind and grabbed the closest Dwarf off of him – Kíli, Bofur concluded while trying to breathe through his pain from the prince’s squeak of terror – and proceeded to throw the young Dwarf over his head with a simple flick of his wrist. Poor Kíli was launched screaming into the air into a very surprised Fíli, who instinctively backed into a panicked Glóin. Together, the three landed on the ground in a groaning, tangled mess.
With two of the four Dwarves off of him, Dori effortlessly twisted out of Bombur and Bifur’s hold, stopping briefly to punch Bifur in the eye to keep him down. He scrambled to his feet with his robes and his braided silver hair uncharacteristically dishevelled. Like a man possessed, he completely ignored the agonized Dwarves curled by his feet to search for his target. His gaze locked on to the flabbergasted Dwalin.
“You,” Dori snarled, shifting his body into a duelling stance, “will rue the day you were born!”
And then, he fell to the ground in an unconscious, loose-limbed pile.
The Dwarves, or at least those who were not still writhing on the floor, gaped at Dori.
When he did not respond, they focused instead on the set of feet that seemed to have materialized behind Dori’s crumpled form sometime amidst the fight. They trailed their eyes up the length of the finely made navy robes, skipping over the neatly groomed thick white beard until they came to rest on Balin’s face.
Balin stared back serenely, his right hand still raised in the same chopping motion that he had used to incapacitate the oldest Ri brother. “A swift blow to the back of the neck can render anyone unconscious,” he said, completely nonchalant at the sorcery that he had just performed. “Now then,” Balin continued lightly, “does anyone have any rope?”
=====
It was shortly after everyone had gathered enough supplies to tend to their wounds that Ori finally made his appearance.
“My apologies for being late, everyone!” he called out in a rush from the entrance, “I hope I haven’t kept you all – just what in Durin’s name is going on in this madhouse?”
Ori did a double take at the sight of his friends sitting about the tent in various states of injury. His eyes widened further when he spotted his oldest brother in the corner. “And why is Dori tied to a chair?!” he asked, his voice going high with panic.
“Funny you should say that, I pretty much used the exact phrasing when I came in.” Nori chuckled, his fingers spreading more cooling salve on Bofur’s chin. He grinned a little harder at the small sound of distress that Ori let out upon discovering that his oldest brother was well and truly unconscious. Unlike Nori, Ori had never seen their illustrious brother knocked off his pedestal so it did not surprise the thief that the youngest Ri would be standing shock still.
“Oh, don’t worry about him,” Nori said dismissively. “We had to keep him calm before he murdered your beau.” The steel in his voice when he had said that term of endearment contrasted with the gentle way he tilted Bofur’s head to look for further bruising. “I’d like to add that for once, it was not my suggestion to tie him up. Also, he was already frothing at the mouth in rage when I arrived.”
Bofur muttered something impolite under his breath that made the thief snigger.
Ori paused his frenzied inspection on Dori to shoot a quizzical look at Nori. “Frothing at the mouth?” he repeated slowly. He blanched visibly once Nori’s words had fully registered. “Murder?!”
He spun around frantically just in time to see Dwalin trudging towards him and he all but ran the last few steps to close the distance between them. Ori automatically skimmed his fingers down the length of Dwalin’s arms to check for injuries, his eyebrows were furrowed in concern and his lips were pressed together into a thin line.
“I am fine, dear heart,” Dwalin said, voice low with the intention to sooth frazzled nerves, but he did not bother to stop Ori. Instead, he waited patiently until the scribe had seen for himself that all was well before reaching down and gently clasping both of the brunet’s hands in his. “See? I have escaped unscathed,” Dwalin insisted again. Slowly and without looking away, he brought the scribe’s hands close to his lips and laid a gentle kiss on each of his soft palms.
The attractive shade of pink that bloomed across Ori’s cheeks only made his growing smile all the more sweeter.
From his seat beside the newly bandaged Bofur, Nori coughed lightly twice. When his little brother and Dwalin made no move to let go of each other, the thief threw his hands in the air and coughed as if he was about to hack up a lung.
The couple finally jumped apart and Ori cleared his throat to ask, “So, what actually happened?” He fidgeted with the hem of his sleeves and did not look up from the ground, his embarrassment all too apparent.
“Dori went crazy, that’s what!” Kíli jumped at the first opportunity to complain. “He picked me up and threw me into Fíli!” The Dwarf animatedly mimed out the way he had flown in the air.
To his right, Fíli reached over and patted Kíli on the shoulder to calm him down. “If it makes you feel any better, at least you had something soft to land on,” the blond Dwarf said sagely.
“And the both of you fell on top of me, so if anything, I suffered the most here,” Glóin grumbled. He pushed away the bottle of salve that Óin was trying to press into his hands with a scowl. “I’m fine! I’m not the one who got punched!”
Across the room, Bifur, who was dutifully applying his salve on his rapidly swollen eye, looked up and threw a rude hand gesture at Glóin. Glóin glibly ignored him.
“But I don’t understand,” Ori wrapped his arms around himself and stared at the ground, lost in his train of thoughts. “What provoked Dori into such drastic actions?”
Dwalin grunted and rubbed the back of his neck guiltily. “I…lost my temper and may have goaded him into a fight,” he confessed, suddenly feeling deeply ashamed of his actions, especially in the face of Ori’s soft, sad eyes. He continued roughly, “I wanted to present this to Master Dori so that he may approve of it, but I got distracted.”
He swallowed heavily and reached into the inner pocket of his heavy jacket to pull out a flat, beautifully carved oak box that was the length of his hand.
“It is…it’s meant to be my first official courting gift to you. I made these with you in mind.”
Dwalin tentatively placed the box in Ori’s hands and said in a hush, “I hope you will accept this along with all of my affection.”
Not for the first time that evening, the room fell into a pregnant silent. All of the Dwarves stood still and watched in anticipation as Ori slowly popped open the lid.
“Oh Dwalin, these are beautiful,” Ori breathed out. He gingerly lifted a sleek, silver fountain pen of the three that were cushioned in the velvet lining. In the light, he could truly appreciate the exquisiteness of the gift – the intricate details that decorated the barrel were etched with a different, lighter coloured metal, one that Ori could not immediately identify, and the same design continued on the cap, which was also inlaid with two neat rows of tiny sapphires and diamonds. The graceful pointed nib was less extravagant, but nevertheless, it was adorned with thin carvings of traditional Dwarven patterns.
Before Ori could pick up a second pen, Nori stepped up and grasped his brother’s shoulder with one hand. “Master Dwalin,” he began coldly, “last I check, courting traditions have to be met and that present cannot be accepted until the head of the family has a chance to inspect and approve of it.” He let go of Ori and held his hand open. “Since Dori is currently incapacitated, I shall step in to act as the temporary head for now.”
Ori mulishly handed his packet over and promptly crossed his arms over his chest, obviously dissatisfied. “Thank you,” Nori said, completely blasé. Although rarely directed at him, he had seen Ori throw some spectacular tantrums in the past, including the massive spat where he had insisted on going to Erebor and the current one over Dwalin. He was, therefore, not at all afraid of his little brother’s temper.
Nori brought the box closer to his eyes and squinted at the pens appraisingly. He noted each of its weight (and how surprisingly light they were), their unique design and in spite of himself, he could not help but be grudgingly impressed at the beautiful craftsmanship. Dwalin had obviously spent a lot of time and effort into making this present for Ori. Not only did the pens suit the scribe’s profession, they were a perfect blend of practicality and beauty. Nori was loathed to admit that he could not find any fault in them.
The only thing that bothered him was this mysterious, light metal that made up the lines of the design. He raised one of the pens up to shine it in the light, just as Ori had done previously, and sucked in his breath when he figured out what that material was –
“Dear Mahal, is that mithril?!” he blurted out.
All of the Dwarves immediately clamoured closer to see this near priceless gift. Ori’s jaw-dropped and he turned to look back and forth between his brother and Dwalin, unable to process the sheer value of what was given to him.
Dwalin, on the other hand, was the epitome of calm and composure even if he had every right to puff his chest out to boast. “Only the lines of the design are mithril. The rest of the pen casing is platinum. Stronger, more durable than gold,” he explained concisely. “I inherited a small ingot of mithril from my father, which I kept stored away in Erebor’s vaults along with a few items of value. Only recently was I granted access to them again.” He smiled a small, bashful smile at Ori and admitted, “I cannot think of a better way to use the ingot than as a gift to my intended.”
Nori was left without a retort. He did not like Dwalin (and he suspected that this feeling was very much reciprocated), but despite his own biases against the Dwarf from the dealings he had with him in the Blue Mountains, he could not find any legitimate grounds to reject his suit on behalf of Ori. He knew that logically, he should be rejoicing that a high bred Dwarf like Dwalin, son of Fundin would care to court below his station. After all, Dwarven matches were normally made so that both families benefited from the marriage, and this match between Dwalin and Ori would only serve to bring prestige to the Ri family…
Nori fought to contain his sly grin. He may have just figured out his point of attack against Dwalin after all.
“Master Dwalin,” Nori purred and Dwalin stiffened from the sudden change in his tone of voice, “this is a very generous gift and you have most definitely outdone yourself with it.” The thief snapped the box shut. “However, I must admit, I am a bit taken aback by both the gift and your desire to court our Ori.”
Still holding the box, Nori clasped his hands behind his back and slowly circled Dwalin like a predator scenting blood. “Let us not beat around the bush: a high ranking Dwarf who also happens to be rich in life experience such as yourself could find a suitably experienced Dwarf of equal status as his consort. Now,” he paused in his pacing to round on Dwalin, “why is it that you have chosen sweet Ori?”
He ignored Ori’s spluttering and ploughed forward with his argument, “I find the inequality of this match to be greatly distressing. Firstly, as I have mentioned before, you could have easily chosen a Dwarf of noble blood to bring prestige into your family and instead, you choose to join your family with ours. Not to say that our family is anything to be ashamed of, but we are no sons of Fundin.” Nori casually buffed his nails against his heavy wool tunic, looking bored. “And then you show up with a gift made with mithril of all things, and I cannot even begin to know how we can reciprocate such a grandiose, priceless offer, not even with our share of Erebor’s gold, but of course, you must have known all this beforehand.”
Dwalin’s eyes followed Nori’s, his posture and expression giving nothing away.
Nori narrowed his eyes and he dropped all pretences at playfulness. “Which brings me to question, just what is it that you seek to exploit when you have decided to buy your way into my brother’s hand in courtship? His youth? His innocence?”
“Now listen here, Master Nori,” Balin stepped forward and exclaimed in indignant fury, “just what exactly are you insinuating here? You have gone too far –”
Dwalin held his hand up to silence his incensed brother. “Master Nori, I do not see this situation the same way as you do,” he rumbled calmly and Nori was starting to hate his unbreakable composure a little. “To me, prestige in a Dwarf is gained through the brave deeds he commits. It is to my understanding that Ori was the one who insisted on undertaking the quest to reclaim Erebor despite knowing that he is not experienced in fighting.”
“And yet, he faced all of the journey’s challenges most admirably.” Dwalin shook his head in disbelief, and he continued with wonder colouring his words, “I cannot begin to imagine the bravery he must possess to stubbornly persevere through it all, to choose to fight knowing that the odds were constantly stacked against him, and to come out as a survivor.”
Even though Dwalin was speaking to Nori, it was Ori who continued to catch the warrior’s attention. The tenderness and warmth in Dwalin’s eyes were unmistakable. “So you see Master Nori, I hold Ori in the highest respect. The way I see it, it is he who will bring honour to me and my family if he accepts my suit, not so much as the other way around.”
“Now, as for the matter about the mithril,” he carried on calmly, “what is a piece of metal compared to all of the time and effort that Ori had spent into crafting all those knitted gifts for me?”
Nori frowned, obviously confused. He spun around quickly so much so that his little brother stepped back with a nervous little squeak. “Wait a minute,” Nori asked, squinting suspicious eyes at Ori, “just how many things did you knit for him?”
“Um…er…”
“Twenty nine items,” Dwalin interjected confidently. He began to list them out without missing a beat: “three pairs of socks, three pairs of gloves, two scarves, three jumpers, two woollen caps, one tea cosy with four matching mug warmers and four matching coasters, and finally, one blanket that is currently in the works.”
“And in return, I gave him three pens.” Dwalin raised an incredulous brow at a gobsmacked Nori. “Quite frankly Master Nori, the pens are really the least I could do.”
The Company Members simultaneously turned their attention towards Ori. Completely frozen, the scribe made the most peculiar, distressed sound from the back of his throat between closed lips, one that reminded the Dwarves of the pitiful cries of a wounded baby animal, and ever so slowly, Ori buried his face in his hands, leaving the flaming red tips of his ears visible.
“Oh, this is unbelievable!” Kíli whispered loudly to Fíli, undisturbed by Ori’s display of pitiful mortification in the brash, shameless way that was so characteristic of the young Dwarf, “I didn’t even get a single scarf while Dwalin gets to hoard a pile of knitted goods! How is this fair?”
Fíli rolled his eyes and did not bother to dignify that comment with a response.
“There there, laddie!” Balin cooed and he rubbed soothing circles on Ori’s hunched back. Let it be known that Balin did not keep his position as the king’s advisor for this many years without knowing when to step in to do damage control. “I thought your knitting was absolutely lovely. All those different patterns and colours, they are wonderful pieces and one can never have too many knitted things! Dwalin clearly appreciates all of them. Why, I never see him without at least two pieces of your knitwear on his body!”
“My apologies if I have embarrassed you, dear heart.” Dwalin seamlessly chimed in and sounding appropriately contrite. He did not need to take his brother’s cue of warning to fix this, now. “But a Dwarf can only be humble for so long when his beloved has gifted him with twenty nine, hand-made presents –”
“You memorized everything I made and you just…listed them all out like you were doing inventory,” came Ori’s distressed words, muffled by his hand. “You made me sound like a crazy person! A crazy person with a thing for knitting!”
“– all of them so beautifully made as well! It is not my intention to imply that anything is wrong with you – ”
“I stress knit is all! There is nothing wrong with that!”
“ – and I am fully aware of your habit of stress knitting, love. You are right, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.”
“You weren’t supposed to know about the blanket either.” Ori still refused to look up but at least, he sounded less miserable than just moments ago. “How did you even know about the blanket?”
“I may have discovered it by accident when I tripped over one of your large baskets of yarn,” and upon realizing how saying that would not help his case at all, Dwalin quickly amended, “because I am clumsy. Extremely clumsy. It was through no fault of your own!”
Bombur shuffled beside his brother and whistled lowly at what could only be described as Dwalin fretting. “Funny how Master Dwalin had managed to maintain a perfectly cool head during Master Nori’s interrogation, but he had lost it the moment young Ori was displeased with him.”
“Aye, love makes fools of us all,” Bofur agreed, his good cheer rapidly returning. It was not every day that one got to witness the unflappable Master Dwalin flounder.
“Alright, enough! If the both of you would stop this shameful display, I do not want to be caught up in your lovers’ tiff!” Nori shuddered a little in disgust and glared at the warrior. Sure, he had wanted to see Dwalin being taken down a peg or two but to see him wrapped around his little brother’s finger so thoroughly was downright pathetic. However, he cannot help but feel a little sorry for the poor bastard. Ori could be a tad too sensitive to other people’s comments. Nori himself had had the unpleasant experience of having to calm a desperately wailing Ori many years ago from some off-handed remark he had accidently made.
He had never been so grateful to accept his older brother’s help that day.
Ori slowly lowered his hands to peak nervously at his brother. “Nori? Does that mean…?” He gestured meaningfully at the box that Nori was still holding.
Nori sighed. Master Dwalin’s retort was surprisingly eloquent, well thought out and before he made that terrible faux pas to list all twenty nine knitted gifts, surprisingly… sweet. The Dwarf had clearly thought that Ori hung the moon and the stars of Middle-Earth and likewise, anyone could see how enamoured Ori was with Master Dwalin. Dori had tried to separate the two to absolutely no effect and now, even Nori’s quick thinking had failed him in finding a legitimate excuse to refuse the tall Dwarf.
Nori may not like this but he could recognize when he was beat. Besides, what were his alternatives? If he chose to deny Master Dwalin now, it would be seen as an insult to the sons of Fundin and he would risk offending close members of that branch of the family, which may or may not include Glóin and Óin, he wasn’t too sure.
Worse still, he would have to deal with Ori’s hurt disappointment if he turned down Master Dwalin’s offer. Nori could not even begin to imagine the backlash he would receive from his own little brother, but he had a feeling that he would inadvertently end up alienating Ori from himself and Dori.
No, the hollow victory he would gain from winning against that self-righteous Dwarf was not worth losing his little brother.
Gritting his teeth and clenching his fists tightly, the thief gave Ori a single, stiff nod, and no sooner had he given his consent did he find himself with an armful of his little brother.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Ori said in a rush, his head buried under Nori’s chin on his right side, his arms wrapped firmly around his middle. Nori could not even remember when it was the last time he had held Ori like this and a warm wave of nostalgia washed over him. Slowly, he raised his arms to return the hug.
“I do not like him, Ori,” Nori muttered into his little brother’s soft hair, “but I hope you know what you are doing.” He reluctantly pulled back to smooth out Ori’s flyaway hair and to straighten his crooked braids. “Also, don’t think that Dori will make this easy for him either,” Nori warned. “You better tell lover-boy to smarten up around that old cog.”
The bright smile of utter jubilation that lit up Ori’s face helped soothe the lingering traces of bitterness in Nori’s heart. He supposed that granting his brother this one small moment of happiness was the least he could do.
=====
Dear Mother,
Kíli and I have successfully infiltrated the farms for the past few days to give you further insight on Uncle and Bilbo’s activities. (Hello Mum! Farming is terribly boring. I don’t understand how you can stand it!) It’s a good thing that we had our Project to keep our minds occupied! You would not believe how much progress we have made on our stories. Who would have thought that a menial task like tilling the earth could inspire so much creativity?
(Uncle and Bilbo also provided a bit of entertainment. The way they gravitated towards each other was absolutely adorable, but even that got stale really quickly. I mean, after watching them for three days straight only to see that they have not gotten anywhere with each other beyond the casual, suspiciously excessive touching, one begins to lose hope a little.)
We included our spy reports to this letter! You can judge for yourself and see what we meant!
On a different note, the Company – minus Uncle and Bilbo, of course – had a meeting to confirm the contents for the third set of the pamphlets. The meeting itself was full of excitement; this time, the focus was on the Ri brothers and Master Dwalin. (Poor Master Dwalin.) Master Dwalin took the initiative to offer his first courting present to Ori but unfortunately for him, both Master Dori and Master Nori dislike him intensely; Master Dori was much too over-protective of Ori while…
Say Kíli, do you know why Master Nori even dislike Master Dwalin?
(No idea. It wasn’t as if they spoke much to each other during the quest either. Maybe something had happened in the Blue Mountains. It wouldn’t surprise me, what with Master Nori’s apparent familiarity with activities of dubious legality). So…what you’re saying is that Master Dwalin might have arrested Master Nori on numerous occasions in the past?
Suddenly, everything makes so much more sense.
Between the three of them, I was surprised that the tent was still standing! (Dori leapt at Master Dwalin when he bragged about snogging Ori, Mum! I have never seen a Dwarf so intent on murder before.) Even after the rest of the members got together to restrain both Dwarves, Dori still had enough strength to break out of his hold. (We had four Dwarves piled on top of him with myself being one of them, and he threw us off like we weighed nothing! He literally picked me up with one hand and tossed me aside! It was terrifying!) Thankfully, Balin stepped in to save the day with a blow that knocked Dori unconscious.
Come to think of it, Master Dwalin had gotten lucky from that or else he never would’ve been able give his courting present to Ori. (Master Nori, who was acting as head of the family, gave Master Dwalin a hard time as it is, but at least there were no physical punches being thrown! He also did end up approving the present even though he had done so very grudgingly.)
We were finally able to start our meeting once Dori woke up with his sanity restored. He apologized profusely to the members of the Company and promised to have a civil talk with Master Dwalin. (Why did I feel like running for cover when I heard that?) It’s probably your survival instinct kicking in to keep you far, far away from the potential war zone where this ‘civil’ talk will take place. Or it could be your reaction to a newly instilled fear for Dori after you were launched into the air, screaming for your dear life by his hands. (Hey! I’d like to see you retain your composure if you had to go through what I went through! Also, I did not scream! It was at most a startled, but very manly yelp.)
As I was saying before, the contents of the pamphlet were discussed extensively during the meeting and we all agreed on publishing three short stories. If this pamphlet is well received, we shall publish another pamphlet with a new set of stories. We can even make it a bi-monthly publication if we can manage it! (We were wondering if you are interested in having your story be a part of this pamphlet? The second piece will be written by Fíli and I while the third by Masters Bofur and Nori, so we are pretty confident that this publication will be the best thing to grace Middle-Earth in the entirety of its existence.) Move aside, Fulla and Buri! There is a new classic in the making!
We have attached a separate page that contains more instructions regarding this if you are interested! (I hope you will say yes, Mum! I can’t wait to see what you have plotted. You always tell the best kinds of stories while Uncle’s tend to be overly melodramatic!) Don’t tell Uncle we said that though. I think we might hurt his feelings.
With all our love,
Fíli and Kíli
Erebor, 20 Mar., 2942.
PS. Have you told Uncle about that label yet? I still have my reservations about this Teleporno fellow …
=====
To my two darling sons who clearly inherited their superior taste in good story telling from me,
Thank you for your latest report regarding the events at the farm. It has been extremely informative and I agree that your Uncle has been dragging his feet long enough. It’s time that I send him another letter. Brace yourselves, boys. You might want to run for cover or make yourselves scarce least he takes his frustration out on you both.
I have also attached a draft of my story. Briefly – I have drawn inspiration from the mythos surrounding Mahal and his wife Yavanna to demonstrate that the union between Master Baggins and your Uncle is not only divine in nature, but it is of good omen. That ought to silence those old, suspicious traditionalists from grumbling about an “unnatural” marriage when a marriage does happen. Please pass this draft on to Master Nori in your next meeting along with my most heartfelt congratulations to both Master Dwalin and young Ori. I honestly wish them all the luck in the world, because they most certainly need every bit of it if they have to face the combined powers of Master Nori and Master Dori.
I have also included a packet of klamath weed for Master Dwalin to help him in dealing with an overly anxious future brother-in-law. I recommend that he infuse two to three teaspoons of the herb per cup of hot water before serving this tea to Master Dori. It will help relax the Dwarf a little and lift his spirit, among other things.
Oh stop looking at me like that. It won’t kill him.
No Fíli, I have not told your Uncle about the label. I shall do so when the opportunity presents itself. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with Teleporno aside from possessing the bad luck of having parents with terrible naming skills. Your suspicion is completely unfounded.
With love,
Your most honourable and talented mother
Thorin’s Hall, 2942.
=====
To my dear brother whose nonexistence progress in his love life makes me weep tears of frustration,
A little birdy has told me that you and Master Baggins were seen frolicking in the fields, prancing about with laughter ringing in the air and looking very much like a pair of young Dwarves in love. Apparently, the two of you also looked like you could be re-enacting that famous scene where Fulla and Buri were running hand-in-hand in a field of wildflowers towards the sunset.
As disturbing as that mental picture is (as with all mental pictures where you are doing any sort of prancing in a field of wildflowers), I feel compelled to ask: why have you not began to court your Hobbit?
For Mahal’s sake, I have not seen you this relaxed towards anyone in over a century. For you to let your guard down like that pretty much just shows how incredibly fond you are of Master Baggins. What is holding you back? Last I checked with his relatives, Master Baggins was a bachelor and he had not expressed any love interest for any of the hobbits in Hobbiton, so you don’t have to worry about any hidden competition. Don’t tell me that there is someone brazen enough to vie for Master Baggins’ attention at the camp?
With love,
Your concerned sister Dís who will go to extreme means to help you secure your Hobbit including murder, torture and extortion.
Thorin’s Hall, 2942.
=====
From Erebor, 2942.
To my insane sister Dís whose loyalty is flattering but she will, under no circumstance, murder , torture or extort my non-existent competitors,
Why do I feel resigned to the fact that any news regarding any sort of interaction between myself and Bilbo Baggins will make its way back to you? Your obsession to see me paired up with the Hobbit terrifies me, sister. I do not remember you being this fanatic nor emotionally invested in anything, not even during that odd phase in your life where you have penned out pages of smut disguised as “tasteful romantic novellas” and then forced Frerin and I to read them.
There was nothing tasteful about those by the way. Don’t think I have forgotten how you have blatantly lied to us.
However, you are right in saying that I am…more than fond of Master Baggins. Never have I met anyone as brave, selfless and little as he who will go to such great lengths to ensure my happiness. The oddest thing is that he is not doing this because I am the King Under the Mountain. Instead, his reasons were that I am, in his own words, “a most confounded, stubborn Dwarf with an overprotective streak a mile-wide who cannot tell the difference between a warren hoe and a scuffle hoe, so kindly move over and let me do my work.”
His presence fills me with great hope for the future and I cannot imagine myself happier if he would honour me by becoming my consort.
I suppose you can be the first to hear this (and I would imagine that it would please you greatly): I have every intention to court Bilbo, but I have held myself back since I was afraid that I would scare him away with my advances. I wish there was a more subtle way in which I could use to gauge his interest.
There, now I have told you the truth. Now kindly stop harassing Bilbo’s relatives.
- Thorin
=====
To my dear older brother,
Of course it pleases me to hear that you have found someone worthy of your love and who could bring you so much joy! For the record, I cannot be happier that you have come to the decision to court Master Baggins. He seems like an absolutely lovely person and I cannot wait to meet him in person.
As for your fear of scaring him away, I think you are not giving him the credit he deserves, brother. By your own words, you admitted that Master Baggins is a brave and tenacious Hobbit who values you as his friend. I believe that if you were to take the chance and be upfront with your intentions, he would rise beyond your expectations.
Or you can take the cowardly option and slip the picture I have attached to this letter under his pillow and wait to see how he will respond.
What you are seeing is my newest label for my honey mead product. What do you think?
Your loving sister, (who will most definitely be celebrating tonight because finally, there is progress!)
Dís
Thorin’s Hall, 2942.
PS: By the way, the caravan of Dwarves from the Blue Mountains should be arriving to Erebor soon. I trust that you have received the latest correspondence from Captain Náli, who is leading the expedition.
=====
From Erebor, 2942.
I WILL NOT SLIP A BARE CHESTED PICTURE OF MYSELF UNDER HIS PILLOW!
CEASE AND DESIST THE PRODUCTION OF THAT LABEL THIS INSTANT!
- Thorin
=====
To my brother who likes to overreact,
Before you go on your rampage, there is method to my madness. As I have told you before, my Elven competitors have created an entirely pretentious, nature-themed piece of art for their product label. Their design served to brand their product as something boring and high-end; they are basically saying that their classy beverage is for their equally classy, high-end clientele.
Their message represents everything that my company and I are against. Our brewery prides itself in being welcoming to all people no matter their age, status, sex or race. As long as a celebration is in town, we will be more than happy to provide for them. What better way to show this than through an image of an iconic, honourable, noble Dwarven king loosening up and having fun with everyone else? By having your image on that bottle in a room full of happy people, it’s as if you are there in spirit to join in their celebrations!
If you are still not convinced, I have also conducted a survey in asking some of my customers’ opinion on the label. The Dwarves praised your bravery in battle and in allowing your image to be used for our product, unlike those “cowardly, emotionless tree-shaggers who wouldn’t know fun, not even if it bit them in their arses”. In addition, 73% of the Men clientele expressed their interest to meet and shake hands with you after seeing this label, with 88% believing you to be a likeable ruler without having ever met you.
When being made to choose between our label and the Elves’, 79% of all the survey takers have chosen ours. Clearly, not only does this design prove to be much more popular than the Elves’, it also serves to increase your popularity in a positive way.
Of course, if you are still unwilling to have your image on the label, I can change it so that someone else can be the mascot. Teleporno himself has expressed great interest to be the face of the Honey Mead line, although I am sure the Dwarves who took the survey would be disappointed by the change. I leave this entirely up to you.
Your loving sister,
Dís
Thorin’s Hall, 2942.
PS: So does that mean you will be confronting Master Baggins about your intention to court him then?
=====
From Erebor, 2942.
To my evil, manipulative sister Dís,
You may use my image on the label only if my chest is fully covered. I would also like to be depicted with my fur surcoat. The grey-brown one.
And yes, I have been communicating with Captain Náli. We are making the proper arrangements for the arrival of the Blue Mountain Dwarves.
- Thorin
PS: Yes.
=====
Dear Mother,
I hope you are doing well! A few members of the Company have some messages that they would like to pass on to you so we thought we’d combine all of these into one letter.
First of all, Master Nori thanks you for your manuscript and has included the first draft of the pamphlet (attached to this letter) for your perusal. He invites your constructive criticism and wishes you a pleasant day.
Secondly, Master Dwalin thanks you for your well wishes and your…special delivery. Unfortunately, he does not feel that he should be drugging Master Dori since it would be a breach of trust and it would lead to a bad start in what he hoped to be their peace talk.
(We tried to tell him that it’s only a breach of trust if he gets caught, but he wouldn’t listen! I felt that our reasoning was pretty legit! I can’t imagine what could have caused him to give us that look of utter disapproval.) Some Dwarves are funny in the head like that, Kíli. Pay him no mind.
Instead of using it on Master Dori, Master Dwalin is thinking of making that herbal tea for himself so that he could make this “undoubtedly bloody unpleasant experience more bloody bearable”.
Finally, Master Ori has a question regarding the drawing that accompanies your story. He would like to know how you want Master Baggins and Uncle to be drawn (specifically, their clothing, their poses and the expressions that they are wearing).
That’s all the messages that we have! (By the way, we all read your story and we really, really liked it! I think it’s our favourite piece out of all the stuff we’ve written!) That’s because Mum’s a great story teller. I have a feeling that the rest of the camp will like her piece as well.
Lots and lots of love,
Fíli and Kíli
Erebor, 24 Mar., 2942.
=====
To my dear boys,
It seems like today is a day of celebrations! First off, your Uncle has finally confirmed what we all knew already: he is deeply fond of Master Baggins and will ask the Hobbit for his permission to court him.
A monumental step forward, I know. I did not even have the heart to mock him for taking so long! To be honest, I think I am still in a state of shock over all of this.
I have also shown him the label and after some persuasion, he has agreed to allow the use of his image for our honey mead product. His only stipulations were that his shirt be fully buttoned and that his characteristic fur surcoat be depicted. You no longer need to fear for your lives for possessing that label, boys!
Now, regarding the inquiries I have received in your previous letter, please pass on the following:
Master Nori – I have gone through the draft of the pamphlet and I do not have any issues. Please keep up the fantastic work and do let me know if you would like me to write another piece.
Master Dwalin – You have always been an honourable Dwarf and anyone who could call themselves your brother-in-law is truly fortunate. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavour. Try not to overdose yourself on that tea.
Master Ori – I would like you to draw the scene where the King and Master Baggins are standing at the altar, exchanging their vows. Please have the King be in his full armour, although with a more…rugged edge to him. Ask Fíli for that honey mead label (rest assured, he will understand what you mean). That is the version of the King that I feel would best fit with the story. As for Master Baggins, I would like him to be depicted as one of Yavannah’s children, so please incorporate a lot of leafy greenery into his clothing. Also, have him wear a crown of wild flowers, such as roses, buttercups, lilies, and violets for example. I leave the flower selection to your discretion.
As always, please keep me updated on the progress around the camp and at the farm! If everything goes well, we will all be able to breathe a sigh of relief that the two oblivious idiots will cease to be oblivious idiots.
Part 1 was posted recently. Please use the Inevitable tags to locate all previous chapter and/or parts. :)
Fíli and Kíli’s Super Secret Awesome Spy Report (Farm Edition!) #1
Targets: Bilbo and Uncle for now, unless we get distracted or we inadvertently find ourselves tangled in someone else’s awkward courtship dance. In all honesty, I don’t think we can find one as awkward as Bilbo and Uncle’s though. Even Dwalin and Ori’s went faster than theirs, and they had Nori and Dori constantly breathing down their backs! (I honestly do not understand what’s taking Bilbo and Uncle so long. Why are they stupidly tip toeing around each other like that? Just snog already!)
Goal: To watch the slow, painful progress of Bilbo’s and Uncle’s relationship. At this point, I’m extremely tempted to interfere because this looks like it could go on for another decade with zero progress. I’d like to see them at least hold hands some time in this century, you know! (Although I can’t agree with you more, it’s better if we leave them alone. For one, we made a promise to never interfere when we first started our Project. It would ruin the betting pool and Glóin would murder us in cold blood, Durin’s heirs be damned!)
Glóin is a big enough ass to do it too! I can’t believe he’s married and to someone as gorgeous as his wife! Why is it that the mean sods get all the women?
Note: Ask Mother why the mean sods get all the women.
Impact of mission if successful:
1. Mother will have her curiosity satiated and hopefully, she will be too distracted to nag at us for carrying out our plan to teach Kíli how to double wield those crossbows. We’re not giving that dream up, Mother!
2. We will have more to report to the next meeting, which will fuel the gossip mill. Also, we hope to draw inspiration from these real life events so that we can craft our beautiful works of fiction!
3. It will keep us busy and out of sight, which will minimize our chance into running into Uncle and subsequently being dragged to do: a) more farm work, b) more paperwork, and c) more horrible sword play sessions. (We haven’t recovered from that last traumatic one with Uncle. Although he’s in a considerably better mood this time around, we have to face a very angry and frustrated Dwalin instead. I don’t know what’s better, having an enraged Uncle Thorin or an enraged Dwalin charge at us.)
I would take an angry Uncle any day. At least he couldn’t round house kick a cow to the point where cheese will come squirting out of its utters.
(Ew, Fíli. Why must you bring that up again?! Mahal!)
Oh, you love the mental picture. Don’t lie.
Day 1
Note: Day 1 corresponds to the day that Kíli and I are present on the farm. It should be noted that Uncle and Bilbo have been working in the fields for a week already.
Duration: The whole day! And what a long but fruitful investigation this has been! (Most. Interesting. Day. Ever.)
Summary of events:
We arrived to the farms before sunrise with our breakfast half-finished and stashed in a bag. (We were late this morning and we only had time to finish our loaf of bread, five links of sausages, half a block of cheese, four fried eggs, three strips of bacon and three mugs of ale. We didn’t even have the time to snag extra servings of the meat pie or mashed potatoes! How do they expect us to work on an empty stomach?)
Once we had arrived, we spent an hour staring groggily at Bilbo, who was energetically describing to us our daily tasks. Judging from the presence of the makeshift wooden platform and how Bilbo had immediately beelined for it before starting his talk, I assume that Bilbo does this speech giving business a lot. Meanwhile, Kíli kept falling asleep and I had to constantly shake him awake. (In my defence, Uncle himself looked like he was asleep. Mind you, he did it with his eyes open if that vacant, unseeing look on his face was anything to go by.) Yes, but Uncle was not on the verge of snoring and he was most certainly not dribbling on my shoulder. Also, he was standing perfectly straight.
(I wonder how he does that. It will be a useful trick to learn!)
This was when we had noticed the first strange event of the day – Bilbo had just finished his speech and Uncle had turned to the Hobbit to start on a new conversation.
(Whatever their conversation was about, it must be something that frustrated the Hobbit. The way Bilbo had thrown up his hands as if he was saying, “Why Mahal? Why me?” was rather telling.)
Uncle, on the other hand, just rolled his eyes exasperatedly and, upon seeing that everyone around them had left already, nonchalantly wrapped his arms around Bilbo’s waist and lifted him clear off the platform. And Bilbo just…carried on talking without missing a beat!
There was no blink of surprise, no stuttered speech, no struggle or loudly made complaints. Bilbo and Uncle’s conversation was uninterrupted even after Uncle had deposited him to the ground and had reached over to straighten the Hobbit’s dishevelled clothing. They were acting as if all this was a daily occurrence!
(It’s as if Bilbo was going, “Oh, what do you mean I have a majestic Dwarf lifting me up in the air like I was a heroine from those romance novels that Kíli most definitely do not read in secrecy? And what do you mean that this same majestic Dwarf is being extremely hands on with fussing over my clothing? Pish posh! Nothing to see, here!”)
And Uncle just hummed along passively and occasionally threw in some uselessly placating sayings like, “there, there”, “if that’s what you think”, “I’m sure,” and “is that so?” when to anyone else, he would’ve given them the Durin’s Glare of Death. It was an eerie sight.
We followed the two discreetly to the work site and were careful to select a work area that would give us the best vantage point. (Not like they would have noticed if we weren’t being discreet, of course. They were completely oblivious to their surroundings. Speaking of which Fíli, did you notice how all the Dwarves and Men were staring at the two as well?) I did, Kíli! It’s good to experience firsthand the fruits of our labour!
We spent the morning tilling, which by the way, has got to be one of the most boring tasks ever to be invented. I think the only activity that could be even more boring is reading about tilling. (Or watching the ponies.) Or watching the paint dry. (Watching the grass grow.) Listening to Dori go on about how certain types of wine has a fruity bouquet, whatever that even means. (Sitting around completely quiet while watching Ori knit.) That’s not that bad! If you stare at him all intense like, he’ll become flustered and you can get all kinds of interesting responses from him. (Huh. You do have a point. Also, why do you sound like you’ve done this before?)
Never you mind!
Anyway, while we tilled, we were able to quietly observe Uncle and Bilbo some more. The rest of the day’s odd events could be summarized by the following:
1. Uncle showering Bilbo with all these little, lingering touches (and likewise, Bilbo to Uncle as well). By ‘touches’, we meant, and have seen them give each other –
a) A gentle brush along the back,
b) A firm hand on the shoulder, and
c) A gentle squeeze along the arms.
Finally, things escalated to the point where Uncle kept a firm grip on Bilbo’s sides, which lead to the two of them leaning very, very close to each other, (and the rest of the working Dwarves, leaning very, very close to watch)…
…but absolutely nothing happened. The two jumped apart at the last minute and went back to work awkwardly in silence. The collective groan of disappointment that rang across the field could not have been more obvious.
2. The reciprocating soulful gazes that occurred after that disappointing incident. Bilbo would peer at Uncle from under his lashes and Uncle would occasionally sneak glances at Bilbo when the Hobbit was preoccupied. Dwalin was completely right about those two, they make quite the pathetic sight. (And you know you’ve hit a new low when Master Dwalin, the most awkward Dwarf in a relationship, thinks that you are being pathetic.) It’s the ultimate example of the pot calling the kettle black, which if you think about it, is quite funny in that sad sort of way.
3. Thankfully, the awkward silence was shattered by lunch time. Uncle and Bilbo walked off to find a quiet place to dine (and since we’re the most amazing nephews in the history of Middle-Earth, Fíli and I not only declined their offer to join them, we also set up a perimeter to ensure that no busy-body Dwarf or Men could interrupt them). Mother would have been proud of our thoughtfulness!
4. After lunch, the two were in a much happier mood and they merrily went off to work some more. There was a lot of bantering going on between them and they would break into rounds of snickering (like a pair of school children!)
I never even knew Uncle could relax in public, let alone snicker. And of course, somewhere in between the jokes and the laughter, the casual touching came back.
The good news from all of this is that Uncle and Bilbo are getting along wonderfully, even though we have not yet found the proof to suggest that they have made proper use of their Love Shack. (Ew, Fíli! Ew!) But from the way that things are going, I’m guessing that we can rejoice soon! There is hope for us yet!
We shall continue to keep vigil in the farms!
- Fíli (and Kíli!)
=====
It has been exactly one week since Thorin had promised himself not to push his affection on Bilbo and instead, to wait until the Hobbit was more comfortable around him before breeching the subject.
It had also been one of the worse weeks he had to endure since reclaiming Erebor. Ironically, it was because he and Bilbo have gotten along swimmingly in the fields.
“Thorin! We’re going to get started on sowing the barely seeds. Do you want to come and help?”
Thorin paused and looked up, his hands keeping a loose grip on the long handle of his rake. His breath hitched a little at the sight that greeted him – Bilbo Baggins had sprinted over a short distance to deliver the news and the light exertion had caused the Hobbit’s cheeks to flush attractively. The russet curls that usually fall over his forehead were darkened with perspiration and they lay plastered against his skin. Bilbo casually reached up to wipe the sweat off his face, inadvertently smearing a thin strip of dirt behind from his fingers in the process. Despite the obvious warmth that he was feeling, Bilbo was still stubbornly wearing his coat, although the sleeves had been neatly rolled up to prevent getting dirt on them.
Bilbo looked absolutely lovely. Thorin wished that he could turn his observations on the Hobbit off.
“I’m not sure how much help I will be able to provide,” the Dwarf answered bashfully and he offered Bilbo an apologetic smile. “Also, you have a little dirt there,” he pointed helpfully at Bilbo’s forehead.
Bilbo looked up, cross-eyed. “Wait, where? Here?” he futilely swiped above his brow.
Thorin chuckled and he automatically reached over to brush away the dirt with his thumb, trailing his fingers lightly over the Hobbit’s slightly damp and heated skin. “There, now you look slightly more presentable, Master Baggins.”
Bilbo’s eyes widened and for a second, Thorin could have sworn that he looked inexplicably pleased, but the Hobbit quickly looked away and the fleeting expression changed into that of embarrassment. “Ah, sorry. I must look a right mess.”
You can be covered in mud while wearing a potato sack and I will still find you unbelievably attractive, was what Thorin wanted to say but instead, he settled with, “I was only joking, Bilbo. Although I must say, you’re looking a bit warm in that coat.”
“I was doing just fine before I ran here, but alright, I’ll take this off if it makes you feel better.” Bilbo rolled his eyes sarcastically and with great care, he undid the gold buttons and slowly worked his way out of his jacket. If Thorin happened to notice how Bilbo’s wet, white shirt had turned slightly translucent and the way it clung attractively to the Hobbit’s torso, well, he could hardly be blamed for making that observation.
He could not, however, find the proper excuse to justify how his eyes had zeroed in on the delicious patch of pale, soft skin that was peeking from beneath Bilbo’s open collar.
Mahal have mercy on his soul.
“There, better?”
Thorin swallowed dryly but he managed to croak out, “Yes, much.”
Bilbo turned around to shake out his jacket and Thorin refused to look at the way his pants stretched over his behind because damn it all, he has more self respect than that and –
Oh bollocks, he looked.
“Well, now that we have this sorted out,” Bilbo called out while his back was still turned, “what say you about coming?”
Thorin could feel the blood immediately rushing to his face and he choked uselessly on air. “B-begging your pardon?” he spluttered, his voice slightly rising.
Bilbo turned his head around to give the Dwarf a perplexed look. “Coming with me for the sowing process,” he said slowly while draping the aired-out jacket on his left arm. He frowned and stalked closer to Thorin, “Are you feeling alright? You look a bit flushed.” He did not look convinced at Thorin’s answering, mechanical nod.
“Yes, I’m fine. Just…too much time in the sun,” Thorin cleared his throat and desperately forced his mind out of the gutter. “Why don’t you go ahead first? I will join you shortly after finishing this up,” he gestured vaguely at the rake that he miraculously still had his grip on. Thankfully, Bilbo did not question his explanation any further and instead, left for his own field after accepting his words gracefully.
That was it, Thorin’s eyes trained on Bilbo’s retreating back as he thought in despair, there cannot be any more of this. He cannot withstand another week of this cruel and unusual torture, not with the way his control was being severely tested each and every day. He needed to find a solution fast before he snapped and end up doing something that he truly regret.
Maybe he should ask Dís for help…
And risk facing a lifetime of mockery? Never! Thorin ruthlessly squashed that string of thought before it could fully mature. He hasn’t sunk that low where he would resort to giving his younger sister ammunition against him. Besides, how would he be able to hold his head up high in the future knowing that he had to beg for outside help to secure his own consort?
No, this would have to be done solely by him through careful planning.
Thorin leaned his forehead against the upright handle of the rake and groaned in utmost misery. He had a feeling that he will be doing a lot of praying for strength to any deity who would listen to him.
=====
Hello my dears! I am back from vacation! Sorry for the slight delay! I was unsatisfied with this chapter and I had to rewrite several scenes before finding them acceptable. The last thing I want is to submit something that I find subpar. To make it up to you, I’ve made this chapter extra long (the longest in this fic, in fact!) I hope you will enjoy it!
As always, this is unbetaed at the moment. I will upload the corrected version once I’ve received the edits back. :)
And this brings us closer and closer to the end of this fic! The next chapter will feature one last hurrah before the inevitable happy ending, because I am a sucker for happy endings. Who’s excited? I know I am!
Thank you for your lovely comments, kudos, recs, favs, and bookmarks! As always, I do read and reply to you reviews, unless you are on ffnet and you posted the comments anonymously. In that case, I can’t get back to you and I’m sorry for that.
Author’s Notes:
[1] Random extra information: I estimated the distance between Dale and Erebor to be around 10 miles (ie. 16 km) using a map of Middle-Earth that I googled 3rin.gs/#0.1540527,0.3100586,0.1544189,0.5658265,c,. After making the assumption that the speed of an average horse ride is around 16 – 27 km/h, my rough calculations showed that it takes under 1 hr to get to Dale, one way, which makes commuting to and from Dale every day a possible one.
[2] Dis’ honey mead label idea was inspired from a fanart (on Tumblr) of Thorin posing as the mascot of a honey mead label, although from what I remember, he was not posing with his chest exposed, haha! Unfortunately, I seem to have misplaced the link for that fanart! I shall love you if you can help me find it as well as the wonderful artist who created such a masterpiece.
[3] Who caught that brief, re-interpreted two-liner insert of the lyrics from that Kansas song? :D
[4] Further explanation regarding Dain: Essentially, he has gotten a hold of the pamphlets and in his happiness, he rushed over to offer his most heartfelt congratulations to Bilbo for securing Thorin’s affection. Likewise, Borin was peeved because of that issue. Bilbo (and Haldan), however, completely missed the point and wrongly assumed that they were talking about Thorin’s decision to choose him as an advisor. Unfortunately, they never had the chance to be corrected by Dain what with the drama.
Inevitable Chapter 8 - Preview (Just to prove to you all that I am not dead! :D)
Here you go guys. As always, this needs to be edited but I figured I'll share what I have churned out so far. :) Enjoy and let me know how you're liking this so far!
Thorin had always placed his considerably large pride in his courage and his ability to act boldly in difficult situations. It was, after all, one of the few qualities of kingship that he had possessed naturally since he was a child.
“Remember, a king needs to be able to recognize the time for action,” his father had lectured carefully in what seemed like a lifetime ago when Thorin was still the only child in the family. The timbre of his voice had faded into a pale echo of what it once was in Thorin’s mind along with the memory of his mother’s smiling face. “Once his decision is made, the king must act decisively and without hesitation. His loyal subjects must be able to follow their king in confidence.”
Ever the opportunist, Thráin would then slip in extra lessons on Dwarven history and war tactics, both of which were topics that Thorin had strongly disliked.
“But you see, my son,” his father had answered at Thorin’s petulant complaints with a rare smile that lightened the heavy lines on his face, “learning about the history of our people will guard against repeating the foolish mistakes of the past.” His father’s eyes gleamed, “As for the war tactics, you will be surprised by how translatable this knowledge can be in other manners…such as in courtship.”
Thorin only wished that he had paid more attention to his lessons. Otherwise, he might not be stuck in this idiotic predicament that he had successfully placed himself in.
“Good morning Dwarves, thank you for your help this morning!” Bilbo Baggins chirped brightly from on top of an upside down wooden crate. The Hobbit rocked on his heels in obvious excitement, “Today, I will show you how to properly prepare the soil for the different crops that we will be planting in this area. If I can just have your attention during this brief demonstration, we can get started immediately!”
The answering groans from the bleary-eyed Dwarven crowd were lacklustre at best.
Thorin stifled a huge yawn with his hand in vain. He could understand their sentiment all too clearly. Waking up at the break of dawn to travel to the fields of Dale for the sole purpose of farming of all things was not his idea of a fun morning either. He yawned widely again, this time having given up on any sense of decorum. It was not as if anyone would notice anyway, not from his partially hidden position next to Bilbo and definitely not when the rest of the Dwarves looked like they could fall asleep standing up.
A quick glance at Dwalin and Glóin, who were standing protectively at the other side of Bilbo, showed him that they too were as equally bored as he was. The two of them had resorted to using their hammer and axe to prop themselves upright.
Bilbo, in contrast, was positively brimming with energy to the point where he could barely keep still.
Thorin should know. He had effectively spent most of the last ten minutes staring stupidly at his Hobbit.
The Dwarven king’s gaze flickered back to Bilbo’s deft hands as he animatedly mimed out different ways to best till the land. He traced his eyes along the length of Bilbo’s arms and his deceptively slight shoulders, marvelling at the way the forest green coat – a gift he had commissioned to replace Bilbo’s threadbare blue robe – had fitted his Hobbit like a glove. He paused briefly to stare at the way the sun’s morning rays reflected off the different shades of brown, gold and red from the strands of Bilbo’s soft hair, and he stared, mesmerized, at the small tufts that curled around the delicately pointed tip of his ears. It was funny how on Bilbo, Thorin did not find those offensive, even if they looked distinctively Elvish.
Bilbo’s wild flailing caught his attention and Thorin reached over just in time to steady Bilbo before he could overbalance himself on his raised pedestal. Bilbo turned around and flashed him a quick, grateful smile. He did not see the beginning of a blush that bloomed across Thorin’s cheeks.
Goodness, Thorin was stupidly, disgustingly besotted and what a world shattering experience that had been when he had finally realized the depths of feelings he had for Bilbo. What was even worst was that after he came to accept this as a fact, he could not act on it; he was left to pathetically wax poetic on Bilbo in his head from a distance like an infatuated teenager. Surely, if his father (and more terrifyingly, Dís) were to see this pathetic display of inaction and lack of boldness, the two would be most disappointed.
Dís would probably threaten him with violence.
Thorin bit back a growl even though his brows were already creased heavily into his characteristic, dark scowl. It’s not as if he wanted to be stuck doing nothing! That moment of almost intimacy in the tent with Bilbo had caught him utterly by surprise and in his shock, he had behaved like he always had – he had automatically retreated behind a façade of cool indifference coupled with the familiar excuse of paperwork. It was an unfortunate habit that he had adopted in his days in court against backstabbing advisors and it had served him well ever since.
Until Bilbo Baggins was involved, of course.
Because if there were things that Bilbo Baggins was good at, they were defying all of Thorin’s expectations and utterly disrupting Thorin’s neatly ordered world.
Regardless, Thorin had acted automatically in defence and when he had finally sorted himself out enough to talk to Bilbo during lunch the next day, the Hobbit had all but fled from his presence before he could even open his mouth.
The sharp ache of disappointment had settled heavily in his gut. Perhaps he was reading this situation completely wrong after all. Maybe Bilbo was not at all interested and the Hobbit was trying to spare his feelings in his perplexingly subtle, non-aggressive, and entirely Hobbitish ways of his. It could also be that Bilbo was not yet comfortable with the idea of going beyond the boundaries of friendship with Thorin.
Either way, Thorin had decided to give Bilbo some space. He refused to push his affection on the Hobbit and risk losing the close friendship that he had cultivated with Bilbo. The next day, he forced himself to behave normally around his friend and he breathed a slow sigh of relief when he saw the Hobbit slowly lose his nervous skittishness around him.
It occurred to Thorin (much, much later) what he had done: he had voluntarily placed himself in a position where he would do nothing until he could better read his friend’s feelings and approach him without scaring him off. Mahal knows how long that could take, what with Thorin’s admittedly terrible skill at empathy and Bilbo’s irrational fear of anything that could disrupt the peace and calm in his life. There was also the fun fact that Thorin has as much patience as Fíli and Kíli do with common sense, or Dís with care and compassion for that matter. Suddenly, Thorin’s noble goal to wait until it was the “right” time to approach Bilbo seemed like it was destined for failure from the get go. Worse still, Thorin could not come up with an alternative solution.
Thorin almost wished he had an army of Orcs and Goblins to slay to quell his mounting frustration. If anything, it was a much more acceptable outlet than hitting his head repeatedly against a wall.
“We’ll be splitting into five groups today,” Bilbo called out, still looking entirely too giddy for anyone awake at this Mahal forsaken hour of the day. Thorin shook himself out of his stupor and discretely straightened his spine from the half slouch he was in. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Dwalin nudge Glóin awake with his elbow none too gently. “If you can please follow Mister Haldan, he will direct you to the fields that we will be tending.”
At the sound of his name, Bard’s nervous-looking advisor snapped to attention from his doze in a mess of flailing limbs. He combed his fingers haphazardly through his mop of disarrayed, brown hair and straightened his clothes in a sad attempt to look alert.
“Uhm, yes. If you would all just follow me, please?” He squeaked out at the unimpressed crowd before spinning around on his heel to tromp off to the right. Thorin watched the man as he almost tripped over his own feet in his haste, twice. Glóin coughed unsubtly into his fist, his shoulders shaking in silent mirth.
“I hope that went alright,” Bilbo said quietly and a bit uneasily to Thorin. He tilted his head and gave the Dwarf a small, sheepish grin. “I know that most people don’t find farming very exciting but I hope I haven’t bored anyone else to tears with my rambling.” He jerked his head towards Haldan’s retreating back. The Dwarves were shuffling slowly to follow the advisor and Thorin waved at Dwalin and Glóin to join the crowd.
“No, not at all,” Thorin replied once he made sure that his friends had things under control. “You were very…”
Very what exactly? Thorin thought, scrambling his brains to finish the sentence. Very passionate in the way you’ve spent the last fifteen minutes explaining something that went completely over my head but I did not mind watching your lips move? Very adorable in that coat I have given you? Very admirably stubborn in the way you had insisted on standing on top of that upturned apple crate so that everyone can see you when you addressed the crowd?
“Informative,” Thorin concluded instead. “Some people just don’t do well in the mornings.” And just for good measure, he smiled disarmingly at a relieved looking Bilbo.
The moment the Hobbit turned his head, Thorin threw a poisonous glare at the Man’s back.
“If you say so,” Bilbo hummed, satisfied with the explanation. “Now, if I can just get off of this blasted thing.”
“Would you like some help to get off the box, Master Hobbit?” Thorin asked after watching Bilbo struggle for a few seconds.
Bilbo glared half-heartedly at the bemused Dwarf. “No, Master Dwarf,” he sniffed, “I’ve got this. Do feel free to continue to – eek!”
Without warning, Thorin had wrapped his arms around Bilbo’s waist and easily lifted him off of the box, all the while ignoring the surprised squeaks of protests from the indignant Hobbit.
“Stop squirming so much, I am trying to help.”
“I just said that I had this under control!”
Thorin rolled his eyes and tightened his hold around Bilbo, eliciting another pathetic little squeak from his friend. He ignored the Hobbit’s familiar scent of earth and grass that tickled his nose and how pleasant his warm weight felt in his arms. “That may be the case, but I would rather expedite this process so that we can catch up with Mister Haldan. Besides,” he added with a grimace, “I do not trust him alone with the Dwarves.”
Bilbo huffed after Thorin had finally deigned to release him on solid ground. “I doubt Mister Haldan can do much damage against the Dwarves, Thorin.”
Thorin snorted. “It’s not the Dwarves I’m worried for,” he said wryly. He turned to follow the retreating Dwarven crowd, speaking loud enough for Bilbo to catch his words clearly, “Judging from Mister Haldan’s natural predisposition to anxiety, I would rather avoid having to explain to Bard why his advisor had to be carried back to his house in a dead faint.”
“He does seem like the overly nervous sort, doesn’t he?” Bilbo chuckled and he jogged a few steps until he was beside Thorin again. “I thought the idea of having an advisor was to have someone around with a cool head.”
“Of course not,” Thorin dismissed and Bilbo rolled his eyes lightly at the Dwarf’s haughty tone. “A great advisor is someone who can be convinced to do your paperwork for you. Bard probably chose him for that very reason.”
“Oh?” Bilbo quirked an eyebrow at Thorin, “And that must mean I make the most brilliant advisor, seeing that I volunteered to help you with your work.”
“Well, I don’t know about that,” Thorin quipped back, the corners of his lips curled into a small smile. “A great advisor will do your paperwork for you, but I never said a smart one will. And since you just boasted about your willingness for that task, I wonder which category you fit in –”
Thorin twisted away just in time to avoid Bilbo’s swat to the arm. He did not bother to hide the large, unrepentant grin on his face that was brought on by the Hobbit’s cry of mock outrage.
“Thorin Oakenshield! I dare you come a little closer and repeat what you just said!”
“I do not understand why you are offended, Master Hobbit,” the innocence in Thorin’s voice was ruined by the way he was taking the pre-emptive measure to keep away from striking range. “I have paid you a compliment by saying that you made a great advisor.” Just to add insult to injury, he shook his head and tsked in admonishment, “Some people are never happy with anything.”
“I’ll show you unhappy!” Bilbo cried out and proceeded to give chase to a laughing Thorin.
That morning, the Dwarven camp was treated to the rare sight of their great king running from his tiny Hobbit advisor across the golden grass fields of the valley, laughing boisterously along the way. If the villagers of Dale noticed that the Dwarves had arrived to their destination late but noticeably happier, they did not comment on it.
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From Erebor, 2942.
To my dear sister Dís,
I have included a revised list of the supplies that we will need in addition to the items you have promised to provide for my camp. Please arrange for their delivery as soon as you are able.
I am pleased to hear of your progress in the Blue Mountains. Indeed, it seems like you have everything well and truly under control. Although I cannot convince you to give up on your…business, dangerous and unsuitable as it is for someone of your royal standing, at least you have proven yourself successful with it. I suppose I can be…gracious about your decision to run the company so long as you are happy and you are using every opportunity to crush those tree-shagging Elven competitors of yours.
Show them how things are done by those from the line of Durin, sister.
On another note, we have started to work on the farms in Dale today. Bilbo has proven himself to be a most gracious and patient teacher despite the obvious lack of knowledge and experience among the Dwarves. However, his best efforts were in vain and I’m afraid that food growing was not a skill that Mahal has blessed us with. None of Bilbo’s wisdom on soil testing, amendment and preparation seemed to stick with any of us. By the end of the day, he was resigned to the fact that the only thing us Dwarves were exceptionally good at was tilling – an activity that involved mindlessly striking the earth with metal tools. Bilbo was quick to assign other agricultural activities to the Men instead. It was a compromise that everyone could happily agree on.
Surprisingly, Dwalin was the most efficient worker today out of everyone in the farm. From the aggressive way he had immersed himself into his task, one would almost suspect that he was using this as an outlet to vent off his frustrations. I cannot begin to imagine what could be the cause for that. Perhaps Balin would know more about this.
Work has started off slowly, but I anticipate for it to go much quicker once everyone has gotten used to their tasks. Us Dwarves have always been quick to master everything (with the exception of long-distance running and long jump, but if Mahal had intended us to be good at those, he would have created us with longer legs). In addition, I trust Bilbo completely and with the Hobbit at the helm leading us, I am certain that your cold-resistant oats, wheat and rye can be sowed as soon as possible. With a little luck, we might be able to complete this task without any messy brawls or drunken rabbles.
I know, I’m not overly optimistic about the latter either, but one can dream.
Unfortunately, dear sister, this is where I must end this letter. I can see Bilbo standing beside my desk, tapping his foot impatiently while giving me a dirty look. He has been nagging at me since this afternoon after he found out that I have purposely stopped taking that vile medicinal tea Óin had prescribed. In retrospect, I should have burned that satchel of tea leaves rather than hide it behind that pile of boring accounting reports, but how was I to know that Bilbo would actually read those? Worse still, when I told him that he was being ridiculous, he went on another hour long rant about my inability to take care of my own health. This brings us to the present where he has literally just placed a freshly mug of that disgusting concoction on my desk, refusing to leave until he is certain that I have drank it all. Do you see the disrespect I put up with on a daily basis?
- Thorin
PS: The honey mead idea is fine.
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To my dear brother Thorin (to whom I am playing Middle-Earth’s smallest fiddle),
You mean to tell me that Master Baggins has taken the initiative to make sure that you are alive and kicking, even if it meant he has to go fetch your hidden medicine, brew the tea himself, serve it to you on a silver platter, and watch you drink it? I am absolutely shocked and appalled at how he is mistreating you, brother. Please, do tell me more! What other abuses has the Hobbit been heaping on you? Has he draped you with an extra, fur-lined blanket whenever he sees you shivering? Or has he chastised you politely to go get some sleep whenever he sees you nodding off at your desk?
I cannot even begin to imagine the horror you must be going through, Thorin. You have my utmost and deepest sympathy. I will have to send a letter to Balin and inform him of this grave situation at once so that he may put a stop to this brazen, little Hobbit!
I am happy that the farms are doing well thus far, and likewise, I will continue to hope that your good fortune will not run out any time soon. Let us be perfectly honest – you’d be lucky if this whole mission ends with less than ten drunken rabbles and/or brawls. I think it would be much more logical for you to plan the proper apology speeches to Bard so that he will not kick you Dwarves off his lands after the inevitable debacle. I have included a few bottles of my award winning triple distilled spirits to the package that I will be sending you. Feel free to offer those as gifts to soothe over ruffled feathers or you can choose to drown your own sorrows with them. Either way, you will probably need them.
You’re welcome.
I would also like to remind you that you need Master Baggins’ help in order for the farms to succeed. Do try to be less of an ass to him. It would not be beneficial to anyone if he decided to up and quit on you all of a sudden. If that were the case, where would that leave you?
Your most gracious sister,
Dís
Thorin’s Hall, 2942.
PS: I am extremely curious over your change of heart over my business endeavour but I confess, I am also incredibly pleased by your decision. I am definitely keeping tabs on my Elven competitors and like you said, I have no intention of letting them win against my company. I did, however, notice that they have recently implemented a new strategy to improve sales of their product through the creative use of their wine bottle labels. They have designed the most beautiful art for them, which served to attract potential clients. Likewise, I have spoken to my fellow Dwarves from the company and have decided to design our own label for our new line of honey mead so that our product would stand out. Teleporno has the most brilliant idea over the image that we should use.
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To my two lovely sons,
I have just received a letter from your Uncle. Not only has he given me his blessing to run my company, he has spent a good half of that letter talking about his Hobbit. What in the blazes is going on in Erebor and what has happened to Thorin (or more specifically, between him and Master Baggins) to put him in such a grand mood? I know your Uncle has started work at the farm. I want you both to refocus your spy efforts there.
Now that that matter has been established, how are you both doing? I trust that your injuries have been healed by now. How goes Phase Two of your mission? I would like to know all the gritty details you lot have put in place. I expect great things from Master Nori and yourselves. He’s a crafty Dwarf that one; I’m glad that we’ve got him on our side.
The Blue Mountains are as secured as always if not a little dull, but what else is new? I have been focusing a lot of my attention on my business as usual and have decided to push forward a new line of honey mead. In addition, I am having my workers spend more time on the design of our product label in response to the new tactics employed by my Elven competitors. They have done a complete redesign of their wine bottle labels to attract new buyers and true to their Elvish nature, they came up with something entirely pretentious, overly frou-frou and nature-themed. They have created what look like pieces of delicate art work.
It pains me to admit this but the buyers love the new design.
I refuse to go down that route and after speaking at great lengths with Teleporno (who also happens to have a great eye for design, I am pleased to say), we came up with something that we both agree would serve our purposes well. I have attached a copy of the new label to our honey mead product for your perusal. Please let me know what you think.
Your most gracious mother,
Thorin’s Hall, 2942.
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Dear Mother,
You’re right in assuming that Kíli and I are pretty much recovered (hello Mum! I’ve been making sure that I was back in tip top shape with my archery, although I will miss being known around the camp as that Dwarf who could shoot a fantastic shot one-handed). Just because your arm is healed doesn’t mean you can’t continue to shoot your cross-bow one-handed, you doofus.
(That’s…very true! Wait, I have a great idea! What if I double wield a pair of crossbows instead of just firing one? Not only will my level of awesome double, but my ability to lay waste to my enemies will as well! It’s a win-win situation! What can possibly go wrong?)
Can you imagine us on the battle field? I will hack away at anyone within range with my double swords while you pick off those who think they could run away with your two cross-bows.
(Clearly, we are geniuses; orc killing geniuses.) Don’t worry Mum, I’ll keep an eye on him again!
Regarding your question about why Uncle has been in such a great mood, we’ve spoken with Dwalin and according to him, Uncle and Bilbo “spent the entire bloody day making eyes at each other and flirting, never mind that hardworking Dwarves like himself had to pick up their slack”. There was also something about “chasing each other around in the meadows”, which I’m not sure if that is a euphemism for something decidedly less innocent, but before I could probe any further, Dwalin stalked off all angry like. (Dwalin has been extremely grumpy as of late. It probably has to do with the way Dori has been keeping himself glued to Ori’s side.) Poor, poor Dwalin. Clearly, he’s going through Ori-withdrawal symptoms. For the sake of everyone’s safety in the camp, I hope he’ll get his much needed alone time with Ori soon.
Glóin was decidedly unhelpful as well. All he did was chuckle while rubbing his palms together, muttering, “I’m going to be rich!” Whatever happened in the farm had caused a sharp increase in participants in the betting pool.
Phase Two is coming along swimmingly. We have included to this letter a copy of the pamphlet currently in circulation at the moment so that you may have a better idea on the story we’ve worked on. With the success of our first pamphlet, the Dwarves were very eager to get their hands on some fresh reading material. It also helps that this story is a direct sequel to the one from Phase One. (Already, we’ve had to republish a few more dozens of the pamphlets twice and that’s in addition to the original hundred we released! Who knew that the Dwarves would like romance so much?) There were also some commission requests that were made towards our artist but Ori refused them. Too bad, I heard that the Dwarves were ready to pay quite the pretty penny for his drawings as well. (Can you imagine anyone willing to pay three silver pieces for a sketch of Uncle and Bilbo staring soulfully into each others’ eyes? Three silver pieces! What is this madness? I don’t think I will ever understand! Also, I don’t understand why there has been an increase in demand for this current set of pamphlets. We’ve made around the same number as the ones from Phase One…)
I heard from Bofur and Bombur that our pamphlets have gotten so popular, Dwarves are guarding their copies rather jealously whenever they manage to get their hands on them. Everyone wants their own copy now! We’ve even had requests to republish the pamphlet from Phase One just so that the Dwarves could have a “complete collection”.
I think we’re going to release twelve more of those pamphlets before moving to Phase Three. If you remember, Mother, this phase is the one where we can get really creative with the story telling. In Nori’s words, this is the phase where we have to “sell it to the Dwarves that Master Baggins and His Majesty will work not only in the present, but in the future as well!” In Phase Three, we’re no longer constrained by the past and present events so we can really exercise our imagination and our story telling skills there.
(In other words, Master Nori is actively encouraging us to make things up. Everything goes with the exception of smut. He’s pretty strict about the no smut rule.)
I remembered that you were interested in participating for this phase. Have you brainstormed any ideas to the stories you would like to write?
Forever your loving sons,
Fíli and Kíli
Erebor, 14 Mar., 2942.
PS: We forgot to address this in the letter so we’ll mention it here – Kíli and I had a look at that honey mead label of yours and to be frank, we’re a bit…speechless.
(Why…is there a picture of Uncle on the label? Also, why is his shirt half- opened? I mean, I can understand him keeping the bottle in his hand triumphantly raised to the air, and I can see that having his leg propped up on a wooden barrel lends him a more confident, roguish feel, but what purpose does revealing his chest serve?)
At least Uncle’s level of majesticness was well portrayed from his windswept hair. However, I fail to see how this label was designed to combat your Elven competitors’ artistic creation…
Also, have you told Uncle about this?! I feel uneasy possessing a copy of this label.
PPS: I don’t think you should trust the words of a Dwarf who calls himself Teleporno.
Fíli and Kíli’s Super Secret Awesome Spy Report #6
Note: We decided to continue with our mission for the sake of research! How else can we expect to write our story if we don’t have the facts straight? (Nori was the one who convinced us that we needed to keep our efforts up in case there are any new developments! That way, if we find anything interesting, we may be able to add that to our writing.)
There’s that, but I also think that Nori’s just being nosy like our mother. He’s probably interested in the potential gossip material that we can share in our upcoming meetings.
(I don’t blame him for being eager though. I mean, I would be more than happy to spend the meeting time, listening to gossip as opposed to being the voice of reason for his brothers. Haven’t you seen the pained look on his face whenever he had to break yet another fight between Ori and Dori?)
I never realized how downright vicious the Ri brothers could be. I’m so glad that we’re not like that.
(You’re just lucky that I am the best little brother on Middle-Earth!)
And such a humble one too!
Targets: Bilbo and Uncle, although now that they are sleeping in the same tent, Bilbo is definitely spending a lot more time with Uncle than never before in the privacy of their own space. We will need to find a better way to listen in on them if we want to know what’s going on. Staring pointlessly at the outside of their tent isn’t cutting it anymore!
Goal: To find out what’s really going on inside the tent in the name of research! (Mother will be happy to see how dedicated we are to doing our job! She’ll be happier still at the potential blackmail material that she will gain after we tell her what he have found.) On the other hand, if Uncle finds out that we’ve been secretly snitching on him to Mother, I can’t begin to imagine what he will do to us. Maybe, he’ll try to have us arrested on charges like ‘conspiring against the king.’
(At least that charge is a real one! Remember all those times when he threatened us with ones that were completely made up just to get us to leave him alone?)
Note: Make sure to ask Mother for some sort of immunity for the next time that Uncle threatens to have us arrested on bogus charges like ‘disturbing the king’s peace on a Sunday when he finally gets to have a lie-in’, or ‘making an uncle’s life a complete misery by being nuisances’.
Impact of mission if successful:
1. Mother will be happy and we all get to live!
2. Nori will have something to distract himself with instead of having to focus on being his brothers’ peace-keeper, (his twitch under his eye might die down a bit). He might be willing to show us some nifty spymaster tricks out of gratitude as well, if we can negotiate it out of him.
3. The next meeting with the Company will prove to be entertaining for everyone.
4. We will have a fantastically written story that is so beautiful, it will even make the Elves weep at the sight of it!
Day 6
Meeting time duration: This afternoon, after lunch at one o’clock
Summary of events:
We spotted Bilbo leaving the kitchens with a tray of smoked meat and we knew right away that he was bringing food to Uncle. (Bilbo is ridiculously predictable! Not to mention, he is definitely spoiling Uncle by bringing him the things that he likes all the time. Can you imagine what will happen if he suddenly just stops? Uncle will be even more unmanageable, especially since he is now used to this sort of fancy treatment!) If that ever happens, I will gladly steal a pony, ride out to the Elvenking’s lair, and hide under his ridiculous, moose-inspired throne just to escape from Uncle’s wrath. Where would you go, Kíli?
(That’s an easy choice. I will hide under Ori’s bed, now that I have seen how scary he could be. Besides, I have the added bonus of Dwalin’s presence! It’s like a two for one deal!)
We followed the Hobbit back to Uncle’s tent but we were surprised to see Bilbo leaving not twenty minutes later after he had dropped off the food. He was impeccably dressed as ever but his was flushed to the point where the tips of his ears were red. Normally, Bilbo and Uncle would spend at least forty minutes dining together, so to see Bilbo scampering away like that and in the state that he was in was strange to say the least.
(Speaking of people acting strange, didn’t you notice how peculiar Uncle was behaving went we went to deliver Balin’s papers yesterday?) It’s rather hard not to notice. Normally, when we deliver anything to Uncle, he’d be asking a million and one questions while carefully examining every hole and crevasse of the delivered item. I was honestly thinking that we would have to stand there for ten minutes, trying to calm his suspicious nature. (True! And if he runs out of things to ask about the parcel, he would normally default to asking us a barrage of curt, one-liner questions like, ‘have you eaten?’, ‘have you trained?’, ‘have you healed properly?’, and his personal favourite: ‘what did you break?’ We got none of that yesterday.)
I like how he stopped asking us ‘if we broke anything’, and instead, made the wise assumption that yes, we have already broken something and will only continue our habit of breaking things every time we meet. Clearly, Uncle knows us entirely too well.
You’re right though, Kíli. Now that I think about it, Uncle seemed entirely distracted when we showed up to his tent yesterday. He only grabbed the papers, mumbled his thanks, and popped back inside. The whole transaction took maybe a minute if that.
(How odd. Do you think it has something to do with Bilbo?)
It probably does. We’ll have to keep a lookout on how the both of them behave around each other the next time we get to sit in a meeting.
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Bilbo was not in the mood for whatever oddity that was going on in the camp, not today when he had his mess of feelings to sort through.
A mess of convoluted, Thorin-shaped, Thorin-sized feelings, his mind supplied unhelpfully and he fought against groaning pathetically out loud.
“Is something the matter, Bilbo?”
Bilbo turned and gave a reassuring smile to a worried Thorin, who was seated beside him. “Sorry, it’s nothing. Just a migraine, is all,” he lied easily and when Thorin continued to look concerned, he admitted quietly, “I’ve been having problems falling asleep.”
Because I have my mind full of thoughts about you. Bilbo really wished he could mute the annoying little voice in his head.
Thorin frowned deeper, “If you are not feeling well, you can return to our tent and rest. I have more than enough aid with manning the sign up procedure.”
For a second, Bilbo was tempted to accept the offer. He casted a quick glance around the tent and sure enough, everything was already laid out for the day-long event. A long wooden table, one that Bilbo suspected was borrowed from the mess hall from the suspicious fork indentures on its surface, was placed near the wall, leaving enough space for those who are manning the desk – four Dwarves and one Hobbit – to squeeze by with their chairs. Each seated person was given different pages that listed the available dates where Dwarves can register to work at the farms, and enough writing utensils to keep the process uninterrupted. Bilbo and Thorin had been the first to jot their names down the moment their stations were set up, with Bilbo signing up to work for almost every day and Thorin stubbornly following the Hobbit’s example. Luckily, Balin was able to talk his king into reducing his hours.
They were prepared to open the floodgates to the Dwarves outside and Bilbo did not doubt that it will be a long day, or at least until Dáin arrives to replace Thorin at the sign up station. Still, he promised Thorin to help and he will not leave him to face the crowd alone.
A burst of loud laughter broke his reverie and Bilbo glanced at the source of the noise. Fíli and Kíli had a red-faced, embarrassed-looking Ori sandwiched between them and by the desperate way the scribe was shrinking into himself, poor Ori wanted out of this miserable situation. Bilbo rolled his eyes at the spectacle.
He was definitely not leaving Thorin alone to the mercy of his two nephews either.
“It’s alright, Thorin. We’ll be sitting here all day at the desk anyway. It’s hardly a taxing job.” He mustered as much confidence as he could in his grin. “Besides, I am afraid for the state of the tent if I left,” Bilbo gestured to the three rowdy, young Dwarves in the corner. Ori was now cowering in the corner, clutching his leather bound journal to his chest like a shield.
Thorin relaxed at his answer but he wasn’t fully placated. “You will tell me the moment the migraine gets worse,” he commanded and at Bilbo’s nod, the last of his worries visibly dissipated. “Good.”
Bilbo dropped his smile the moment Thorin turned his attention away to bark at his nephews. By Eru, the Dwarf’s presence was driving him mad. He had not felt this flustered around anyone, not since when he was a young, impressionable Hobbit who believed himself to be in love. Funny how the situation is repeating itself now after a few decades of self-imposed bachelorhood, except his object of affection was a surly Dwarven king of all people rather than a soft, Hobbit lass.
Stranger yet, the thought of having any romantic feelings towards Thorin had never crossed his mind, at least not until that incident at the tent a couple of days ago. Now, all he could think about was that moment of intimacy, trying to understand where this flood of feelings was coming from, to the point where he was driving himself to sleeplessness.
Maybe, he had always subconsciously felt something for the Dwarf, but had stubbornly ignored this in favour of completing the quest with his life and limb intact. Maybe, he had slowly fallen for the king afterwards, in the silence of the tent when Thorin was weak in his sickbed, but his determination to do right by Bilbo and by his people was as strong as ever. Either way, that incident – and by the makers, he couldn’t even address the incident properly in his head without flushing – served as a massive wake-up call.
The truth remained: Bilbo Baggins most definitely had feelings for Thorin Oakenshield that go beyond that of friendship. He wasn’t sure if it was love that he was feeling just yet, but if given more time, Bilbo was certain that his fondness for Thorin would only continue to grow.
The next important question is, what is he going to do about it?
Absolutely nothing, that’s what, Bilbo decided resolutely but not without bitterness. He wasn’t even sure if Thorin reciprocated his affections. After the incident, the Dwarf had acted as if nothing had happened and had gone straight to work on the papers he had received from Fíli and Kíli. He continued to act completely normal in the following days and Bilbo had not found the courage to talk to him about it.
And how should I bring this up anyway? Bilbo thought sarcastically, Should I have said: ‘Hello Thorin, remember that time where we were practically whispering sweet nothings to each other? Did you have that same urge as I did to give you the snogging of your life? I sure would like that, please and thank you!’
If anything, it was Bilbo who started to act funny. He suddenly noticed all the little details about Thorin that he would otherwise have taken for granted: Thorin’s deep, rumbling chuckle that never ceased to bring a smile to his own face, the way the Dwarf’s hair would become a tangled mess every morning, the gentleness of his battle-scarred hands, the warmth in his gaze…all of these had sent Bilbo flushing embarrassingly. He even had to kip out on lunch the other day so that he won’t make a complete ass out of himself.
Just as he was about to groan in shame at the memory, a voice in front of him called out brusquely, “Master Hobbit, when will you be working on the farm?”
Bilbo quickly looked up from his lap, staring at the large, rough-looking Dwarf in front of him in utter surprise.
“Ah, sorry?” he said intelligently. It was more polite than him asking, ‘When did you get here?’ which was what Bilbo had really meant.
“This is where I sign up to work for the farm, yes?” the Dwarf repeated, more slowly this time as if he was speaking to someone particularly slow.
“Oh..oh! The sign up, yes!” Bilbo plastered what he hoped was a pleasant, disarming smile but to no avail. The Dwarf remained unimpressed. Bilbo fought against the rising blush of embarrassment, “Yes, this is the right location! Thank you for offering your help. Which date will work best for you?”
“It depends,” the Dwarf said vaguely, as if he was completely uninterested with that thread of the conversation. Instead, he repeated gruffly, “When will you be working on the farm?”
Bilbo blinked in surprise. “Uh, I will be working pretty much every day for the upcoming months.”
“And what about our king, will he be accompanying you?”
“Yes?” Bilbo raised an inquisitive brow at the unexpected question. “Although he won’t be there every day, he will still be showing up extensively.”
The Dwarf nodded solemnly. “Master Hobbit, show me the weeks where the both of you are scheduled to work together.”
Bilbo wordlessly pulled out the pages and pointed the dates that had both his and Thorin’s name written under them. The Dwarf grunted, plucked a pen on the table, dipped it in the ink pot and started to scrawl his name rapidly on the page.
“There are more dates to choose from if you would…alright, never mind.” Bilbo trailed off when it was clear that the Dwarf was not listening, and the Hobbit was left trying not to stare at the odd Dwarf in awkward silence.
He failed.
Finally, the Dwarf placed his pen down, scanned his sheet over one last time, and dipped his head forward. “Master Hobbit,” he greeted tonelessly and before Bilbo could thank him, he had spun around and stalked for the exit, roughly pushing aside the numerous Dwarves that were in his way.
Bilbo blinked again. Out of nagging curiosity, he glanced down at the signup sheet.
The Dwarf, (he was apparently called Frár, Bilbo noted,) had put his name down for what was equivalent to a month’s worth of work, all conveniently on the same dates where he and Thorin were on the field together.
Huh.
He couldn’t have been staring confusedly at the sheet for more than a minute when another Dwarf appeared.
“Master Baggins!” the newcomer cried jovially and boldly reached across the table to shake Bilbo’s hand in enthusiasm, to the Hobbit’s surprise. “It’s so good to finally meet you in person! I have heard all about your adventure and I must say, if you could pardon my boldness, that you are a lot braver than you look! Oh, that’s not to imply that you look like the cowardly sort, not at all!”
The Dwarf happily continued in his rambling, all the while still shaking Bilbo’s hand, “It’s just that you are exceptionally brave is all. We all think so, all the lads from my group. We’re the ones excavating the diamond mines of Erebor! They’re some of the bravest people I know, so for them to think that you’re brave, well, that’s got to mean something! Oh, wait until I tell them that I got to meet you in person! They will be livid with – ”
“Master Dwarf,” Thorin’s said calmly, but with an undertone of pure ice, “if you could let go of Master Baggins’ hand now, that would be much appreciated.”
The Dwarf yelped and promptly released Bilbo. “Begging you pardon, your Majesty, I do not mean to overstep my bound, your Majesty! Please forgive me, your Majesty!” he quickly bowed multiple times in succession.
“Yes, yes that’s quite alright, and – look, will you stop that already?” Thorin sighed and with an air of exasperation, he said to the Dwarf, “Let’s just continue with the sign up.”
“Right away, your Majesty!”
He turned to an amused looking Bilbo and asked, no less enthusiastic than before, “If it is not too much of an inconvenience, may I see the dates when you and the king are working together?”
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From Erebor, 2942.
To my honourable sister Dís,
How goes your health and your business? I trust that your hard work has paid off. At the very least, please tell me that you have outsold your Elven competitors if you insist on “dominating Middle-Earth, one bottle at the time”, as I recall you saying.
The situation in Erebor has oddly been stable thus far. We are in the process of recruiting Dwarves to work on the farms and the response we received was…surprising. Truth be told, I was not expecting much enthusiasm for the project and I was fully prepared to throw in some additional incentives to lure out the Dwarves, but it would seem like I had completely underestimated the people’s response.
Believe it or not, there was an actual line up at the tent. The Dwarves were particularly interested in working for long stretches at the time, especially for the dates where Master Baggins and I would be present in the field together. Indeed, a lot of the Dwarves had flat-out asked to be put on the same days for which the both of us had also signed up. I can’t begin to imagine why they would make such an odd request. If I were to hazard a guess, I would imagine that this has something to do with the release of the new Ballad of Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Oakenshield that apparently accredited the quest’s success to our team work. Perhaps the Dwarves are curious and wanted to see for themselves what Master Baggins and I would be like working together.
I am glad to say that the tension within the camp, the one that was sprung from my decision to place Dwarves in the farms, had cooled significantly. At least that’s one problem dealt with. Now I can focus on keeping an eye out on Dáin.
How much longer will it take for the first batch of Blue Mountain Dwarves to arrive to Erebor? I would very much like to have more men in the camp whose loyalty I can count on.
- Thorin
=====
To my dear brother Thorin,
What is this I am reading? Not a single word of sarcasm that was directed at me? Well, never in a million years would I have thought to see this day. Master Baggins’ ways must have rubbed off on you!
I had hoped for Master Baggins to have rubbed off more than his good behaviour on you, but one cannot expect too much, I suppose.
Just to let you know, I will find a way to preserve your letter as proof that Thorin Oakenshield can be polite and dare I say, pleasant?
I am doing well, brother, as healthy and hale as ever before. Yes, I am outselling my Elven competitors and I have taken the liberty to gloat about it in great lengths at a local fair that I had recently attended. The Elves were not pleased and were less impressed when I have addressed them in my speech as “my honoured Elven colleagues whose multiple, brilliant talents do not include making a proper drink, but at least you tried!”
Their pinched, unamused expressions had made my week.
I am thinking of expanding the varieties of drinks to produce. How do you feel about honey mead?
As for your situation in Erebor, I am pleased to hear that the anger among the Dwarves has cooled significantly and at the Dwarves’ very enthusiastic response in seeing you and Bilbo working together in the fields. I’m sure that have no other intention but to see how well the both of you…work together.
At least you will no longer have to worry about the Dwarven camp tearing itself apart from the infighting. I would imagine that Dáin and his advisors are also pleased with this development. After all, I’m sure he realized as much as you did that a divided camp is more vulnerable to outside threats, which would explain why he was so eager to work with you up to this point.
I definitely would continue to keep an eye on him and his men though, just in case. You are still in a vulnerable situation, what with you being surrounded by men who sworn their fealty to Dáin, first and foremost.
A group of thirty Blue Mountain Dwarves should be arriving to Erebor in about three weeks time and a second group should be arriving in another month after that. Expect more of your own workers to arrive during late spring to early summer. Hopefully, we will have enough of our men to match the number in Dáin’s army so that you will once again be surrounded by your loyal subjects.
I have included a list detailing all the workers and supplies that are arriving your way for the next three months. Please let me know if there is anything else you need.
Your most wonderful (and filthy rich) sister,
Dís
Thorin’s Hall, 2942.
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I guess this counts as good news to some, but I have definitely revised the length of this story and decided that there's no way for me to wrap everything up on 8 chapters. At the moment, I'm thinking that there will be 9 chapters overall, but we shall see about that. Chances are, it might be longer what with my inability to write short chapters and all.
Also, I know I promised some of you that epic shit will be happening this chapter. Clearly, that wasn’t the case. It will be happening next chapter. ;)
Chapter Notes:
[1] Finally, there is some progress with Bilbo/Thorin, although Thorin likes to be difficult and Bilbo is insecure. More about Thorin's POV in the next chapter!
[2] The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Oakenshield was mentioned as a joke in Chapter 2...except now, it's actually happening. I know, it's been so long!
[3] Fili and Kili are horrible little cock-blocking shits. I'm sorry.
[4] The Dwarves are fighting to work on the days where Bilbo and Thorin will be together. They were hoping to see all the drama and UST in person. It's like real life soap opera, waiting to happen in front of their eyes! Who will pass up on an opportunity of a life time like that?
[5] Bagginshield, thilbo and honey mead - kudos to darthstitch for the inspiration. :D