#thoughtjarble

[finishingflight]

I’m still alive, I promise. I’ve had my hands full with a full time job and a puppy. I feel like its been years since I’ve been on here. Hello to anyone I haven’t talked to in a while. Anyone want puppy pictures? More trip photos and video I never got around to uploading?

[finishingflight]

I went to my stepdads to pick up mail, I couldn't help but say hello to Dyno over the fence. I shouldn't have. Dyno was so upset that the fence was between us that he was wailing. He was crying, howling and shaking. I've heard him upset before but the the noises he was making today were nothing I've heard from any dog. It broke my heart. I miss that pup so much, to think he is forgotten in a backyard where I can't help him kills me. I had to walk away while he howled and cried. I wish he knew I was sorry.

[finishingflight]

The countdown begins to graduation:

1/1 Quiz Completed

1/4 Finals Completed

2/4 Projects Completed

[finishingflight]

I need one of those rooms where you can break everything in it. If It was soundproof and I could do a barbarian yelp that would be good too. 

[finishingflight]

Just bought an air mattress for the back of my car, step by step I’m getting closer to our big trip. 

((Lets forget the fact that I have so much stuff to do before then that I want to cry))

[finishingflight]

I just found an artist that has the exact style that I want for my sleeve. I want it now but I don’t even know exactly what I want. She also is booked for all of 2015. Which is good because I shouldn’t. Still I want to book her now so I can maybe get it done early 2016. 

I’m so obsessive its really terrible. She is in SF so it would be a great excuse to go visit San Francisco for a few weekends. I’m drooling...and dying. 

http://www.tattooboogaloo.com/deanna.html

[finishingflight]

Big Step towards the Big Adventure:

I am now the proud owner of a Subaru Forester. Watch out world I now have high clearance and AWD. 

[finishingflight]

I’m feeling sad today and I don’t really have a huge reason for it. I miss a lot of things that used to keep me so happy. I miss horseback riding and Jake in general. It used to be everything to me, I haven’t done more than sit on Jake’s back while he grazed in three years. I’ve seen Jake three times in those three years. I miss Dyno. I haven’t felt like going out for runs without my four legged friend. I miss his stupid goofy personality. I miss having a routine of exercising, I don’t know why I have felt so opposed to it for a while now. I miss climbing, ever since my thumb decided to hate me. I miss drawing and reading. I miss trees and rivers. I miss exploring new places. I miss feeling small and isolated from civilization. I miss family vacations. 

I am surrounded by wonderful people. I have a great boyfriend and friends. My family is close emotionally to me and are all wonderful. I get to go on hikes whenever I want, I’ve been on a lot of trips over the past few months. I have a good job, I’m finishing school, I’ll be free of the main source of whats tying me down. I have an amazing adventure planned for this summer. Its everything I’ve wanted to do for a while. I can do what I want without the constraints of school. So much good is coming my way, it will all be amazing. I’m trying to let go of my crippling nostalgia and look forward.