Jul 23
so nervous so so nervous.. ummh. i try my best....
seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from France
seen from Canada
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seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from United Kingdom
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seen from Ukraine
so nervous so so nervous.. ummh. i try my best....
i miss visitin graveyards rlie bad </3 i dunno why no one will take me anymore.. i hav ppl i wnna see myself .. but i like to walk arnd n read the info n messages left on graves ń.n” ♡ id love to do stuff like clean or bring flowers for everyone restin but tha families may not wnt tht so i wldnt.. ithnk it's rly sweet ppl who r gone still live on in a way,, in memory,, n i'd like to help prolong it for wht im worth.... n.n
it bcomes harder n harder to believe everyone is good n keep myself frm fallin into hate for everyone again .. iv tried so hrd to keep it up :c i rly do not wnna let my paranoid n schizotypal tendencies take me ovr again cos i got myself into smch trouble but bad things happen again n again.. i wnt help :c i wnna believe everyone is capable of good as goin against tht wld rly b against all i stand for but it has been so hrd lately.. iv seen smch bad in tha world....
all i do is cry .. all i do is cry all day every day :c i started homeschoolin cos girls were mean to me .. i found a lotta stuff in tha internet cos i nvr had friends , i thought ppl here would b more lik me too n b kinder.. they r not .. </3 girls r mean online too.. ppl r mean n fake everywhere .. i dnt understand it at all n i all i evr wnt is to make sure everyone is happy n to b able to tlk things out .. ive nvr understood tha mindset of a bully or a sadist but it just seems there r so many.. i dunno where to go anymore .. everyone always wnts to b mean n cruel no matter wht you do..
everythin feels bleak.. huwwfffh :c i let everythin i love get tainted n attached to terrible memories until nothin makes me happy .. n i live in tha past mournin who i used to b n whn i felt like i ws better.. whn im not i jst live in daydreams.. i dunno wht to do abt any of it.. i miss her :cc
i always hide my face .. everywhere .... i hav an odd fear of bein perceived </3 i like to post on my socials smtimes cos thts one of tha only places i cn rly control it bt otherwise i hide as fast as i cn whn i see anyone look at me ever .. i dnt rlie leave my house mch cossa tht too ,, </3
recentlie .. um ,, i cnt rlie tell my dreams frm my memories mch ? n my memory is so sooo awful..