Jul 23
so nervous so so nervous.. ummh. i try my best....
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Nigeria
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Netherlands
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
so nervous so so nervous.. ummh. i try my best....
oh gosh i dnt like th internernet..
i wnt to feel bttr n hav a happy day n not feel guity abt either
i miss visitin graveyards rlie bad </3 i dunno why no one will take me anymore.. i hav ppl i wnna see myself .. but i like to walk arnd n read the info n messages left on graves ń.n” ♡ id love to do stuff like clean or bring flowers for everyone restin but tha families may not wnt tht so i wldnt.. ithnk it's rly sweet ppl who r gone still live on in a way,, in memory,, n i'd like to help prolong it for wht im worth.... n.n
it bcomes harder n harder to believe everyone is good n keep myself frm fallin into hate for everyone again .. iv tried so hrd to keep it up :c i rly do not wnna let my paranoid n schizotypal tendencies take me ovr again cos i got myself into smch trouble but bad things happen again n again.. i wnt help :c i wnna believe everyone is capable of good as goin against tht wld rly b against all i stand for but it has been so hrd lately.. iv seen smch bad in tha world....
all i do is cry .. all i do is cry all day every day :c i started homeschoolin cos girls were mean to me .. i found a lotta stuff in tha internet cos i nvr had friends , i thought ppl here would b more lik me too n b kinder.. they r not .. </3 girls r mean online too.. ppl r mean n fake everywhere .. i dnt understand it at all n i all i evr wnt is to make sure everyone is happy n to b able to tlk things out .. ive nvr understood tha mindset of a bully or a sadist but it just seems there r so many.. i dunno where to go anymore .. everyone always wnts to b mean n cruel no matter wht you do..
everythin feels bleak.. huwwfffh :c i let everythin i love get tainted n attached to terrible memories until nothin makes me happy .. n i live in tha past mournin who i used to b n whn i felt like i ws better.. whn im not i jst live in daydreams.. i dunno wht to do abt any of it.. i miss her :cc