#thoughts run wild

[breadandsugar]

why is there a crow here. why is it squawking at me? they're philza's, right? i saw philza leave a while ago, was it left behind?

i think it's hungry. i have a bit of leftover bread, i'll just put it near the window if it wants the bread <3

if i knew any better i would think it's trying to tell me something, but i dont understand crow and i...don't know if i'm ready to talk to philza yet.

[breadandsugar]

hi everyone <33

this is a c!niki ask & rp blog run by @thekaycat. it will depict both canon and a bit of fanon bits, starting from the pre-execution arc. this will be run as if c!niki has a blog herself rather than a 3rd-person rp style.

companion blog to:

c!phil: @antarctic-malewife (run by @bunfloras)

c!techno: @antarctic-anarchist (run by @accursed-worm)

c!ranboo: @enderchestappreciation (run by @the-blaze-empress)

c!ghostbur: @cornflower-friend (run by @venetapsi)

c!quackity: @black-tie-beanie (also run by @accursed-worm) c!tommy: @pog-wife-haver (run by @novaliae)

asks are submitted via the diary writing (that's how chat appears to niki canonically and she also just calls them chat)! feel free to interact as much or as little as you want, whether it be with questions, media, or thoughts. please refrain from sending in anything shipping related, unless it is niki and puffy, which is confirmed to be canon. however, their relationship will probably be depicted as more of a qpr :D

feel free to repeat questions too, niki goes through. a lot of development so, for example, her relationship with characters will change a lot over time.

main tags used in interactions/posts:

#diary writings - asks

#thoughts run wild - original post

#hallucination - ooc

#anarchist pig - c!techno

#anarchist crow - c!phil

#journal buddy - c!ranboo

#him. - c!wilbur

#my beloved - c!puffy

#ducks and quackers - c!quackity

#trouble making child - c!tommy

tagging them all on this post for nav <3

[breadandsugar]

chat this was a bad idea this was a really bad idea i don't want to be here anymore there's nothing but dust and stone and half-filled chests and it was so dark so i used t-torches but the smoke is everywhere and i- i can't breathe i don't want to be back here i don't want to live here i dont want to live alone i dont want to

it's just a hollow cavern right now but it's so much like pogtopia and chat i can smell the smoke mixing with the dust my footsteps set free and i- i can't be here anymore. i can't. i can't. pogtopia is gone.

nope. this is not pogtopia. this is not. the stairs are smoothly cut and not choppy and overly steep and crooked and there is no pit where my friends beat each other to death and there are no cigarettes stumps littering the blood-stained floors and there's no screaming or shouting or wails for what was long lost echoing through the ravine but somehow the silence is so much worse.

i can't be here anymore. i can't do this. i told puffy i would try to face my fears but this is too much. this is far too much and i can't do this anymore. i need light not smoke and i need quiet not silence and i need my friends back in a form that is more alive than dead.

[breadandsugar]

hey chat! i'm on my way to move into my underground city today. i'm not planning to abandon my bakery, don't worry, i- i just. i can't sleep here anymore and i know i should be glad for the lack of nightmares but i'm so tired.

i love l'manburg, i really do, but it's not what it used to be. at least for me.

the underground city was supposed to be a home—a sanctuary, even—for the refugees and the ones who wanted peace during the war. now i'm just hoping it'll be refuge enough for me.

and maybe, just maybe, i'll be able to sleep better knowing that the executions and the wars and everything i fear can't reach me here.

[breadandsugar]

one of philza's crows has just managed to steal an entire loaf of bread that's a decent big bigger than themselves in one go (which honestly, i do not mind because it's impressive) and either they are incredibly hungry or philza's hungry.

which would make sense, i guess. he's been on house arrest for quite some time and i don't know how much food he has in stock.

but does he not know how to cook or did he just run out of ingredients? and do i send him some food or do i not?

you know what, screw this. i- i still don't feel...comfortable with him but i'm not going to risk letting him starve to death. and plus, he doesnt have to know it's me :D

[breadandsugar]

oh my gosh. okay i uh splashed as many potions as i could but he looks like he's unconscious and i think i'm too late again like i was too late to save tommy and wilbur and everyone else. there's so much blood everywhere and i can feel his heart beating but wilbur's heart was beating too before he died but right now, he's alive.

he's alive. that's all that matters. i think he's awakening too, which is good because i have a enchanted golden apple that i really need him to eat.

we can deal with the blood and the door i kicked down later.

[breadandsugar]

quackity...died? by technoblade's pickaxe?

please no. i don't know him that well but i can feel it. history is going to repeat itself again and

haven't we suffered enough already?

[breadandsugar]

they're trying to execute technoblade. technoblade is here. at l'manburg. again.

technoblade is here and in chains and screaming at phil and i do not know what to think anymore.

am i supposed to be happy that the one who destroyed my home is facing punishment or feel pain that my old friend is about to be murdered in front of my eyes?