reconnection || @sirius-whoisleft
The longest James could recall going without talking to Sirius, through at least letters, was the summer after their first year of school. They had been young enough, then, that writing letters seemed like a great deal of work, and while James had missed Sirius, and all of his friends, it had felt strange to be the first one to reach out. So he hadn’t, for about three weeks. In that time, though, James had remembered why he’d been so excited to go to Hogwarts -- the Potter home, for all of its virtues, was nowhere near anyone his own age, and it was boring. And when his father had pointed out that he was welcome to invite one of his new friends to stay, James had given up all pretense and written Sirius immediately.
The rift between them this time hadn’t hit the three week mark, thankfully, and James wasn’t planning on letting it. At first, after their fight, avoidance had been the only option. James had been hurt and angry himself, and then gone off to the Quidditch tournament for several days. After he got back, his time had been filled with Lily and catching up with classes, and of course, dealing with Narcissa Black and her ridiculous pureblooded nonsense. He wasn’t sure when the anger had bled away, but more and more often, James found himself wanting to catch Sirius’ eye in class and mouth something unflattering about one of the Slytherins they shared space with, or scribbling a note to toss him, only to remember that it likely wouldn’t be well-received. By this point, James just missed his best mate, and was more than ready to put all of this behind them. They had both been upset, and angry, and said things that they didn’t mean -- at least, James sincerely hoped Sirius hadn’t meant everything he said that afternoon -- and had plenty of time to cool off. One fight was not going to be the end of a friendship that had changed James’ entire life; he was far, far too stubborn for that. And just like the last time silence had lingered too long, James was going to have to be the one to stop it.
So, determined, James left his last class of the day and marched back to the dorm. He said nothing when he first entered, though Sirius was there, and just moved to his trunk, pulling the envelope he’d received just that morning from it’s confines. Euphemia’s tidy hand had addressed it, and the contents weren’t exactly good news -- but maybe, for this, it would be enough. Apologies and words weren’t James’ strong suit, but gestures? Actions? Those he could do, and he knew Sirius would understand the attempt.
“Here.” James said quietly, striding toward Sirius with his arm outstretched, the letter in his open hand. “Mum wrote. About Dad. A couple of times, but this is the first time she’s really said anything important. I thought you might. . . want to know.” He knew what the letter said. It was short, only a few lines, and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about them since he scanned the parchment in the middle of Defense class.
James, darling, I still don’t think it’s a good idea for you or Sirius to visit right now. There’s nothing to be done, and your studies are important. Besides, I shouldn’t think your father would want you to see him this way. He’s lost some weight, and looks rather different from when you saw him last, and I know he wouldn’t want you lads to fuss. You know how he is -- you get it from him, after all! We’ll all see each other over the holidays, and if anything changes, we can reconsider. Try not to worry so much! Everything will work out. You’ll see.
It was damned frustrating, to be told over and over again that there was nothing he could do, so he may as well stay at school. James wasn’t a healer, and he wasn’t an idiot. He knew he couldn’t help Fleamont -- but being there, seeing what was happening with his own eyes, being able to spend time with the man -- that would have been enough for him. But perhaps that was selfish. James didn’t know, and wasn’t sure he cared. None of that was the point at the moment, though, so James just adjusted the frame of his glasses and waited for Sirius’ reaction.
