TIME IS MEMORY: D.K. Pan
Day 3
Day 3 brought more pain, haha. I was heartened as several people came and joined in throughout the day. The original 3 of us - good friend, mother, and I - had been sitting for all of the Acts thus far and were accompanied today by the Designated Sitter who was a red-haired young woman. The DS had experience in psychic work and modeling and remarked throughout the day how therapeutic the process was. She talked about using her own methods and strategies to focus on her chakras and healing. Instead of sitting crossed-legged, she placed her feet on the floor as she stated it allowed for earth energies to be drawn upon. For me, a lot of the discomfort in my hips became alleviated by placing a rolled-up towel under the bottom crossed-legged knee as well as experimenting with various types of leg placement. During the third hour, I tried sitting on the cushion with my legs under me, which proved to be comfortable for most of the hour until the last 10 minutes or so. I felt similar sensations of body/breath connections and allowed memories and thoughts to pass over. By concentrating on being a passive observer to what would arise from the mind and simply be a witness to it, I was kept from dwelling too deep when certain emotional states would be triggered. At the end of the session, while talking with someone who had dropped-in on the last hour, it became apparent how closely words are connected to mind-body experiences. They had asked how being silent affected the thought processes when we all think so often in text. It led to a challenge for the following day, to allow more abstraction, imagery, and tonal sensations rather than the impulse to describe and encapsulate what's happening into words.
Day 4
There was a little harried-ness at the beginning of the day due to the Designated Sitter being a lil' late and having drunk more coffee than usual. The DS worked at the UW in the Psychiatry Department and had previous art modeling experience. After sitting on the cushion for the first hour, she decided to sit on a chair for the remainder. The first hour was especially difficult due to the aforementioned coffee and having to urinate. As soon as I sat down, I felt a lot of zinging energy flow through me and for the first half hour or so, it was both comfortable and overwhelming. Near the end of the hour, I couldn't bear it any longer and stood up and used the bathroom and shook off some of the excess jitters. While I was disappointed in myself for the indiscretion of leaving the seat prematurely, I took it as a note to self for future sessions. The remainder of the hours passed swimmingly. I took time to scan my body on the skeletal level and then adding layers of muscles and organs. This allowed my mind to focus more deeply on the physical sensations and allowed grounding to take place. I found that sitting in the chair during the third hour wasn't as satisfying, though more comfortable. It was as though there was too much passivity in the pose. Several instances during the day, I was enlivened to find moments of complete contentment in finding a comfortable seat and full enjoyment in the process. It felt at times similar to floating in calm water.