Little black book..random entry
The nightmares keep coming. I can see him, the blade, his screams, our screams. Why didn't i follow Bell? I suppose there isnt much a child could do, especially one so inexperienced at the time. The screams are so deafening. Hearing mother scream every night till she died of presumably a broken heart, her last words..
Why must this burden be on me? I feel her last wish may never be granted. I wouldnt wish anyone the burden to carry on a legacy such as this, being the last one able to carry the family blood on sucks. I wasnt meant for this. Bell.. i love my sister, but she cannot share this burden, being risen and forsaken. I feel like i failed her and father. I wasnt raised as a typical noble due to the circumstances of war. Orphaned so young.. i dont even know.
Mother, if you somehow can see or read this, i am sorry i failed you and father. The Bloodstar blood will die with me it seems. I tasted love, though i no longer want any parts of it. The only man i truly loved left without word, briefly returned and left again. I cant bear to endure such a pain again. I would rather get shot again than feel the pain of a broken heart again.
The shy warlock laughed a moment. "Oh i dont doubt i could easily arrange that. He would -love- to try to kill me again i am sure." She shook her head as her ears drooped, taking a moment before penning further.
Perhaps this burden you asked is too much for me to bear. Perhaps i need to find my purpose and place again. I thought i had it , and it would have been a path you would have hated for me, but your dying wish would have been fulfilled with ease. Well, anyway, at least i tried, but it seems so far out of grasp now that i dont see it ever being fulfilled. I will not elevate in status either, so there is that.
For now....Zari'Arael Bloodstar.
She put the quill down and slammed the book shut. Zabby wobbled up and took it, stowing it away safe as he always had, though not too safe, he wasnt the brightest demon. "You are family enough my dear little zabster." She looked about the inn and exhaled. "I should dress and get us some food. I hate this city anymore, but i cannot send you out for food and expect it to go well." She pulled her hair up and moved to the bath. "They barely tolerate me. If any knew... " her eyes narrowed. "..i should have let that miserable old fool kill me." She scoffed as she disrobed and sank in the tub. Zabby wobbled in placing candles on the edge, hands barely able to reach the edge. "Leave me be, thank you." The demon wobbled out pulling the door and curling up much like a dog would on the bed. Zari utilized magic, a ball of fel flame lit three candles as she sank back again. "Soon i will be out of this city. I just need a few days for the textiles i need to be shipped in." She groaned as the water and bubbles reached her jaw, silencing her.