#tipsy wednesday

[woahitswednesday]

I love when I get slutty memories from my phone 😂🐉🍓

[woahwednesdayvids]

It's only fair

[woahitswednesday]

This is the right amount of vodka for a drink right??

[woahitswednesday]

Me to my partner while tipsy: um not now cause you're about to eat and you want to watch stuff, but like later could I suck your cock? 🥺

Him: what's wrong with right now? I can eat and get my dick sucked, I have a giant ass TV and you have a chair on wheels! You're just a quitter!

😂💛 I love this man.

[woahwednesdayvids]

🎶 Summer time, and the titties are freee 🎶

Ok, not actually, but I love that song cause I'm old lol

[woahitswednesday]

When your regular glasses break and you have to wear your backups

Yes, these are legitimately my backup glasses, they're not part of the filter lol. I got them several years ago cause I was able to get 2 pairs of glasses for the deal I got and here we are 😂

[woahitswednesday]

If you're a man who can deal with bimbo babble, especially intoxicated bimbo babble, bless you. You're a rare breed.

[woahitswednesday]

"I'd rather be seduced by you than eat your food, but I'm a man whore"

-Me to me while I rewatch Top Chef season 7