I am indeed crying over the first 1.5 chapters at nearly 1am so I’m gonna sleep. But enjoy my inadvertent bi pride highlighters that I am so happy I dragged to bed with me tonight. Having the physical copy made It felt like I was a kid reading Harry Potter for the first time all over again, a feeling I have been chasing for 11 years. So thank you to @cowboydiaz for the logistics, @cosycrescent for the art, and of course @hattalove for the beautiful fic 💙
The Adventures of a Sentient Rock - Part 2, Jobhunting and Minitaurs
In the local tavern in town, sits Scott with a tall glass of water.
He has been there for weeks now, and can’t seem to find jobs. He spends all his talking with the rock about his achievements. The ghost in a tophat accompanies him wherever he goes, and this is the 8th time it heard about the victory over the malicious psychic.
A man in a neat blue suit sits down at the counter, as Scott is trying to explain his tumble-rolls in a more heroic way. He sits down next to him. Scott scouts him as he sits. He got the most dazzling hazel hair tied up in a pretty bun, and a jawline sharp enough to cut diamonds.
“You’re the new wizard right?” - says the fabulous man. “You sound like you could do me a favor” - continues the dazzling young man. Scott opens his mouth, but nothing really comes out. “There’s a minitaur outside of town that harasses travelers. It’s bad for business, so go take care of that for me sport” - said the gorgeous man. Clearly well mannered. He gave Scott a wink goodbye, then got up and left with an order of chow wings under an arm.
“What.“ - said Scott, as he had just gotten himself a job with minimal effort.
Outside of town, Scott prowls anxiously. Money has been short lately, and he could use a new toothbrush. Whatever the creature was that caused the ruckus, seems to be gone now.
But before going back into the tavern, and his glass of water, he stubs his toe on something solid. To progress the story further, Scott stubbed his toe on something solid.
A pile of coins with a hunched back goat on top.
Scott eyes the goat suspiciously, as it begins to snore. He squats down to eye level.
‘That’s not a goat’ Scott thought to himself. ‘It’s like a midget with horns’ although the description fitted, he had expected something greater. Scott eyes it over, and gets in closer. Its breathing becomes more sporadic, and is obviously faking sleep. As comfortable as you may imagine it, laying on a gold pile is practically a solid metal brick.
“That can’t be good for your back” - Said Scott. The horned midget fakes a yawn and turns around with great effort. Scott’s primordial intuition tells him to shove the midget - seeing how far it’ll tumble downhill.
Midget Vision
You are tired, after a long day of yelling at people. Rich merchants come into arguments with you for not having noticing when something gets stuck underneath their carriages. Instead of suing, you take the direct approach, and extort them of a hefty sum of money, although you don’t know what money is.
You are resting on your large pile of money, your back is sore. A great big buffoon comes along, and gives you a shove. Maybe if you pretend to keep sleeping, you’ll be left alone, so you do. He is infuriating, but you are more tired than you are angry.
Out of nowhere, he pushes you away. You do a 22 feet tumble and land flat at the foot of the hill. At the top, you see him. He nods, making “hm” sounds, as if you hadn’t rolled the way he expected. Your face starts to blare up. You turn into, and see red.
Rock Vision
You feel constant and immense pain, the likes of which nothing has ever done before you. You wish, and long for the day of which you may die, and pray that your caretaker may be foolish enough to end you at any moment. Yet he cannot hear you,
Because you are a rock.
Scott Vision
You see a horned midget running towards you, and you begin to panic. You haven’t dealt with a single midget your entire life, and you are uncertain whether or not they are poisonous to humans.
Because you are an idiot.
In a panic, you draw a rock out of your scabbard, and throws it completely bewildered. The rock lands directly in the midget’s forehead, and it passes out.
The episode was so sudden, that you hadn’t accounted for this to happen. A part of you had expected that the midget was a bit sturdier. You decide now would be the best time to leave, but you couldn’t possibly leave the midget like this.
So you decide to give it a blanket before running away.