#tmi...

[betweenthelips50cm]

careless fools like me!!

todays diary 23/04/2021

my fave chinese teacher came back today~~!! so happy! she made a double study session feel like half a session! we learnt how to write a blog post for our exam! 

in english the creative piece i’m writing is fun, however i’m worried about how i’m presenting carla in the letter (from her pov!). i mean i just need to be careful i keep the author’s voice of carla. it’s ridiculous i’m writing the story as if i’m recounting my own feelings under the characters names........(shhh that’s a secret my teacher DOESN’T need know that haha~) 

in the last class i saw one of my classmates art diaries that they shared with us... it’s just so beautiful and amazing..seeing other peoples drawing or scribbles always makes me so happy <3 

in a not so positive light... one of my classmates read a page of my journal\diary....

now... its not their fault, it was right open by mistake when i leaned over to ask them something, so i didn’t realize it was open... i’m not sure how much they read but i looked up when they stood up and their eyes were right on it...seriously i really panicked and slammed that shut asap...

 I WROTE IT AT RECESS TIME- WHY DIDN’T I JUST LEAVE IT AT HOME?? careless fools like me shouldn’t bring their diary to school!! 

but i canttt not bring something! its so fun to draw and write at recess\lunch !

luckily the content wasn’t too weird,, but ahhh its really...personal thoughts still :’) i trust them, and i told them that, but im worried they will accidently say something if someone happens to mention something related to what i wrote, ya know? i mean thats highly unlikely, i just hope that i wont wrote is no interest to them! and tbh it shouldnt be... i mean if we become closer maybe it will end up being ok.. but yeah, sometimes i just wanna keep some things\thoughts private- even if someone is my friend or i trust them. 

[queerpiratequeen]

.

[tinypigeonlord]

So the good news is, I got a 2nd binder and this one is so sturdy I am as flat as can be.

The bad news is, I die a little everytime I have to struggle myself into/out of it

The worse news is, mom caught me stuck in my binder and looking like a sad bug that got stepped on, and had to help me get out of it. Well I mean, I would’ve gotten out of it.... eventually.....

the somewhat bittersweet news is that she asked me why I do this to myself, I broke down about how much I hate my breasts, and after a difficult conversation in which she finally really tried to listen and understand... she said she would support my top surgery if this is what I really wanna go for, even though she still finds it unnecessary mutilation.

So now I need to decide if I wanna try and potentially be disappointed after a few years of false hope, or just deal with this and be miserable, but atleast I wont get disappointed. :v

[osiris-ward]

I'm having really bad flashbacks to the point I'm hurting in places I don't even want to think about... Every time I walk it's a sharp pain and, not only do I work tonight, but tomorrow I have to socialize and walk around and I just... Ugh... I don't want to feel anything anymore...

[ozonecologne]

real talk though, how much do you want to bet that Misha and Darius have drunkenly made out at some point in their lives

Oh, obviously. I don’t even think they had to be drunk necessarily! Darius is the kind of guy to grab Misha life by the balls.

Darius’s friendship with Misha reminds me a lot of my friendship with MY childhood best friend and we have definitely - 

yeah.

[thegoodandthe-evil]

I don't know what to do.. He's convinced I am. I'm having very mild cramps but??

[pastrois]

I was ugly even before the scars...