#tnspp reread

[starcollectorsilas]

Uhhhh finished the (not so) perfect pair. there is a hole in my chest. what do I do with myself now???

[starcollectorsilas]

btw in the epilogue when Dazai keeps the lighters hidden behind the drawers in his desk it's because he stole them from Oda since he couldn't buy them on his own :)

[starcollectorsilas]

'"Yeah. If we go, I won't try to die again," he promised, meaning it, and there was a third click.'

HE PROMISED. MEANING IT. AUGHHHHHHHHHH WHY DID I DO THISSSSSSSSSS

Also this chapter is so batshit insane I did NOT realise I'm so sorry to the (not so) perfect pair enjoyers everywhere

[starcollectorsilas]

ALSO BTW. Dazai in the hospital at the end of chapter 18 where Mori is speaking to him and after telling him '"I doubt you'll live long on your own. No amount of help can fix some issues. Normal is something you'll probably never know."' he looks at Dazai 'as though for a second he was seeing someone other than Dazai' because Dazai looks like his mother in that moment btw. His mother who committed suicide. And Mori looks at Dazai and sees his late wife and for a moment he realizes the extent to which he has messed his son up and the only way he can think to fix it in that moment is to assure Dazai he can go to school the next day if he'll just let himself be treated easily. So that Dazai can see Chuuya. He's asking Dazai to let him treat him and promising that if he does, Dazai can see Chuuya in the morning.

The only moments that Mori is gentle with his son the entire fic is that moment where he looks at Dazai and sees his wife. Not that it will change anything about the way he treats him in the end.

[starcollectorsilas]

HAHAHAHAHAHA SHINY SILVER SCALPEL BITCHES!!! WE ARE SO BACK!!! HERE COMES THE ANGST!!!

thanks @sorry-i-panicked for the image I think about this regularly and was the FIRST thing that popped into my head while reading the end of chapter 18

[starcollectorsilas]

btw. btw. '"A man in my class, his soulmate died a week ago, from cancer."' -Kouyou's line in chapter 18 when comforting Chuuya and assuring him his soulmate couldn't be dead. At this point none of them know Oda's dead yet but Ango is in Kouyou's law class. Kouyou knows Ango's boyfriend is dead, but doesn't know that Ango's boyfriend was her childhood best friend. And she's using what she doesn't know yet is the death of her childhood best friend to comfort her younger brother and assure him his soulmate isn't dead. send tweet.

[starcollectorsilas]

it's so crazy to think about tnspp!Dazai in chapter 13... like his older brother JUST died the night before, he probably fell asleep the night before thinking he wouldn't wake up, he's in AGONY through the whole day and everything just seems to be getting worse for him... bro has EVERY right to be crashing out the way he is rn 😭

[starcollectorsilas]

applagawa and oranushi.