Recurse | Chapter 5 | Masa
Terrified didn’t even begin to cover what Yuko was feeling as he headed to Masa’s room. He had dreaded anyone finding his secret out, sure that people would hate him for it. And here he was, going to reveal everything. Yuko cared for Masa more than he had ever thought possible, and seeing him upset because of Yuko’s secrets wasn’t okay.
Masa may have been the nicest person on the planet, but Yuko was positive that evem he wouldn’t want anything to do with him once he found out. He just hoped that Masa wouldn’t tell everyone his secret once he dumped him.
With only a quick knock to announce his presence, Yuko entered Masa dorm. As soon as he was in however, he turned around and closed the door, locking it. This was going to be for Masa’s ears only.
Masa, who had been sitting on his bed, looked at his boyfriend with a quizzical look, but before he could say anything Yuko held up his hand.
“Don’t say anything. If you talk right now, I’ll probably chicken out, and I need to tell you this.”
Yuko tool a deep breath, trying (and failing) to calm his nerves. Well, time to get it over with and kiss his relationship goodbye.
“You know about my past. Almost all of it. I told you that I ran. I didn’t tell you why I ran. I glossed over it, saying how I had had enough…that’s not exactly true.”
He ran a hand through his hair, and began pacing. His eyes still had yet to meet Masa’s.
“A little over three years ago I was given an assignment by the head of my family. It was a simple name, and I had to locate him. It was top priority. Refusal wasn’t allowed, or else. So I did what I do best and found the guy. It was just another job well done. I didn’t give it another thought until I was reading the news a few weeks later.
“A story came up about how a rebellion was crushed. This ‘rebellion’ was made up of people who just wanted to be treated like people. The ruler of the country was apparently quite the dictator. The name I located was the rebellion leader. The location I gave them lead the country’s ruler right to their hideout. Everyone was slaughtered. Men, women, children, it didn’t matter to this guy. They were against him and that meant the deserved death. Death that I brought upon them.”
Yuko stopped pacing, hands falling limply to his sides.
“They all died because of me. I caused the slaughter of dozens of innocent people. Just because I didn’t want to have to deal with the consequences of refusing. I killed them all…I’m a monster with their blood on my hands.
“And...and I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me after hearing that.”
He finally looked at Masa, trying to gauge his reaction, and fearing the outcome.
