#too queued

[theo-phoric]

[theo-phoric]

[theo-phoric]

[theo-phoric]

[theo-phoric]

[liz-cant-save-the-world]

Story time.

I had this friend since elementary school, through high school then was a massive P.O.S. caused lot of drama on my name for NOTHING purely for gossip and bs. Technically, with that, it was a declaration of blame all her wrong doings on me (different story time, not this one). So we were no longer friends.

Fast forward 2 years. My 'new' friends. People I had already known for years just got much closer and became my close friend group meet her (former friend) by coincidence. I make it clear, even though they already know the tea, that I am not friends with her and never will be again. The trust is well and fully gone and I never want my name in her mouth again.

Fast forward 10 years now. I continue to be in this group while they still speak to ff on and off. During all that time ff has only gotten worse in the selfishness and lying from what I've heard and I am confused as to why my friend group keeps her around when they know the business and her nature.

Again, fast forward 2-3 years. [Side note: obviously, there are some other stressors during this time skip, but this is a tldr, so take the main picture for now] The friend group becomes passive aggressively hostile. I am clearly unhappy when ff comes to events but not rude to ruin it for anyone else. The group laughs off vulgar and offensive jokes by ff that they would never have let slide before purely because that's just "how she is". When we hangout they are short and rude with me as well. Everything starts to feel uncomfortable and forced.

In past years I was blamed for not reaching out to them while I was in toxic relationships. When I was directly told not to speak to them or when I felt so shit I couldn't even sleep much less move. But also how do I reach out to people that never reach out to me? Don't they say it's a two-way street? They don't reach out to me for good or bad things going on for them so why would I?

Not a very good story time. Sorry. The end is I am finally having a good time but here I am unable to share it since I do not feel close to these people anymore. They are not the same people who I knew despite not hanging out every day I felt I knew these people and we mutually cared for each other. Now, that is just not the case. Not even a meme post in a group chat in six months. Is this the end? Should I carve the headstone and be done with these people if this is how far our lives have diverged?

[theo-phoric]