I have begun to realize something.
I started drinking coffee because I once read, when I was seven, it would make a person have to pee more.
I use dandelion tea because when I was five my grandmother told me that eating the flowers would make you wet the bed.
Once I learned, at nearly twenty years old, that I don't in fact have aquagenic urticaria, I began drinking more water than was necessary in a day for my body to properly function.
I constantly spend time as far from the bathroom as I can, and have always done so since fifth grade.
I had no fear in wearing my first diaper to school, Spohomore year of high school, where it leaked so bad I wet the seat and had to get sent home.
I never feared wetting myself in front of my homophobic, strict Christian grandmother who said I was too old for stuffed animals by age eleven.
But I fear communicating with my fellow adults. I would much rather hide among the youth and never reveal myself to those my age or older. How is it so easy to be shameless of something, yet be afraid of nearly everything else?