(cw for divorce and family relations) *'strong'. That's a word he's heard too often. Oikawa's always been strong. Seldom has he ever been seen when he's truly sad; when tears are streaming down his face and he cries.* I know. I just... *he rubs his arm, unsure how to start* I'll tell you from the beginning of it. I met Hajime when I was around 4. A year later, my mom and dad would start fighting, and three years after that, my dad left. My mom would cry sometimes. That's why i wanted to be(1/?)
(2/?) someone she could look up to. I started playing volleyball, even roped Iwa into it. *He pauses, taking a deep breath.* But i would still hear my mom complain about being lonely and sad. So I had to work harder, I just wanted to see her smile and laugh. By then I was in middle school. You probably know the whole kageyama story. I wanted to apologize to him. Jax I swear i tried, but there was never a good time. *He rambles. Oikawa freezes in his movements, looking down and away* Sorry, that was.. probably too much - oikawa
i keep my eyes on him, letting him speak.
no, it’s not too much. you are so so strong ‘kawa. you’ve been carrying all of that around? you work so hard for others, being someone your mom can lean on and be proud of is a heavy burden. you’ve made her proud, i know it. look at who you are! being sad is okay, hurting is okay, in the end you come out of it all wiser- you know how to hurt... some people don’t know how to do that. you’re going to be okay, you’ve made it this far, haven’t you?
i tell him, wanting to hug him, wanting to let him know he’s going to be okay.
and now you have me- and iwaizumi-
to lean on, and kageyama is a strong man... everyone needs someone to push them, you just made him work harder-
it’ll make it all worth it even more when you sit at the top don’t you think?
