something i understood too late is that there are people that will always make you feel guilty for reacting to what they did because it’s easier to make you see yourself as the problem than to take accountability.
they do something that hurts you, they cross the line, they disrespect you and when you react, suddenly you are the one who is being dramatic when in reality you are only reacting to what happened.
and when the conversation happens, they don’t even talk about what they did to you. they start talking about how you reacted and that’s where they turn everything around. because the same thing always happens. they do something to you, you react, then they invalidate anything you say and change the narrative until you end up doubting yourself and asking for forgiveness. and that is not communication, it’s manipulation.
because it’s not that you react badly, it’s that you are reacting to something that did happen. but when someone does not want to be responsible, it will make your reaction seem like the problem. and there comes a point where something becomes very clear. there are people who prefer to make you doubt yourself before taking accountability because for them they will never be the problem. it will always be your reaction.
and while they are still like that, it’s not that they don’t learn. it’s that they are choosing to continue doing the same shit over and over again. even if it hurts and traumatizes people.
and they know it.
