Word count (excluding questions): 588
Bi Talks Topic 13: Bi attraction spectrum tw: "gendered" language maybe?
What are you first memories of being attracted to someone? To people of different genders?
The first time I remember having a crush on someone was when I was in preschool. I remember telling my mom "I have a crush on (I can't remember the name, but it was a boy)!" I don't think I ever talked to him, so I don't know why. I proceeded to occasionally have crushes on various different boys up through the current day. It was expected of me, as a little “girl”. As for people of different genders than were “expected” of me...
There was a girl in my first grade class named Christina. I remember one day after recess, she pulled me into the book corner and said "I love you Morgan!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I replied back, "I love you too Christina!" and kissed her on the cheek. I remember we held hands and were girlfriends. But my mom did some teasing (the same she would for if I had gotten a boyfriend) and I think we might have gotten some teasing from my classmates? Either way, I remember somehow thinking it was wrong, so we stopped, and I pushed it deep down...
Until 7th grade. I fell really hard for my best friend at the time. I found out later that she had a crush on me at the time too, but neither of us said anything because we didn't want the other to be weirded out. And then 9th grade, I fell in love with my other best friend, actually told her, and we kissed, although I didn’t end up dating another girl until sophomore year of high school, but that’s another story entirely.
Tell us about your attraction to people of different genders. Is it the same? Different? If so, how?
I tend to find "girly" people more attractive as a general rule? But when I think someone more "masculine" is hot, I tend to find them REALLY REALLY attractive. However, physical attractiveness is not particularly super important to me when I start a relationship, although there does have to be a certain kind of chemistry there. Emotionally, it's about the same feeling to me. I fall in love just as hard with any gender that I’ve experienced. I enjoy sex equally with any gender I've been with as well, although there are some obvious differences in equipment. However, there are plenty of ways to make many genders very happy in bed, as long as you use your imagination.
Which traits do you find attracted in different people?
In "feminine" people, I tend to find almost everyone attractive, but I especially like the "nerdy" and "alternative" look, to a degree. For masculine people, I tend to find alternative guys really hot, and nerdy shy guys really adorable. And there’s a certain type of androgyny that I can’t really explain, but it totally makes me tingly in certain areas ;-)
Do you use any labels other than bi to describe the types of attraction you experience?
I occasionally use the label pansexual or omnisexual, because I like everyone, but I tend to use bi more often because that way people don’t look at me like I’ve grown a third head. A lot less explaining, usually
How awesome is it to be attracted to be attracted to so many different people? ;)
Amazingly awesome. I find it freeing. I don’t have to worry “Am I a lesbian because I’m a girl” or “Am I straight now, because I like a dude?” or “what the hell kind of orientation finds nonbinary people hot? I don’t even have a word for that!” It ties in with my polyamory in a way. I just love people, and I don’t have to worry about loving people, regardless of how many, or what gender, because I’m in a situation where I can experience attraction freely and worry about the rest of it later.
