#tor!srina

[thessalian]

H, I, J, K, L?

H - trusts their horoscope the most

Erm ... not a lot of my characters actually come from places where horoscopes are a thing, but I would probably go for TSW!Astrid. In her case, it’s only because she’s very, very, very old and she figures whatever her horoscope predicted is going to happen at some point. “Sometimes the stars are just a little delayed-gratification about the whole thing; that’s all!”

I - tends to idolise people they shouldn’t

That would probably be TOR!Srina. Not that she ‘idolises’ people overmuch ... mostly because she seldom if ever shows anything that might be recognised as ‘an emotion of any kind’ ... but she believes that aptitude can and should be set aside from morals so she’ll tend to say some complimentary things about some people who are objectively awful people just because they’re very damn good at what they do ... even if ‘what they do’ is awful.

J - tells the most dad jokes

TSW!Mychae, definitely. Mostly because she and her dorky-ass husband are in competition over who can tell the Daddest Dad Joke. (Chris is still winning on points.)

K - is the most skilled in the kitchen

That one goes entirely to the little nest of Jalliras, with TOR!Lira winning on points because she has that whole thing with more interesting ingredients in the GFFA and also, because miraluka and literally having no eyes and only seeing in the Force, managing culinary excellence while being functionally blind. I mean, the Force guides her, but she kind of had to figure out how the Force was telling her that her onions are properly caramelised.

L - lies the most

Eeegh, that’s hard. Weirdly? I’m going to go with TOR!Mychae on that one. I mean, she and Srina are almost neck and neck but Mych wins because she lies a lot about being ... well, okay, and cheerful, and stuff like that. (She got mistreated by the first person she declared her love to, and abandoned by the second, and while it was over an in-game decade ago and she’s as over it as you can be about that kind of thing, she’s just never ever going to be the same again and has no intention of giving her heart to anyone. Third time is not the charm.)

[thessalian]

Alisaie: Piety, Craftsmanship, Strength. Srina: Critical Hit, Determination, Gathering. Jallira: Mind, Control, Spell Speed.

Alisaie

Piety: How does religion affect your character’s lifestyle?

That would entirely depend on the working definition of ‘religion’. Religion as an organised concept being very different from faith as an abstract, actual organised religion doesn’t affect her life all that much beyond what other people believe. Yeah, sure, she’s descended from a divine being in a fairly direct way, but that’s not religion; that’s not even really faith. So unless anyone’s getting exceedingly weird about her celestial heritage (xref: parents freaking out over their daughter sprouting wings so she didn’t plummet to the death to which they’d flung her, said same parents joining an apocalypse cult and considering her an abomination, and any other situation wherein someone’s religion decides she needs worshipping or killing), her religious life in specific is more about, “Hey, hi, thanks for the nice stuff and for being good to my friends; sorry some people think I’m more divine than I maybe am; catch you later” than anything else.

Craftsmanship: What hobbies does your character enjoy?

She likes dancing. Reading. Singing. And, if you can call it a hobby, decorating and doing Fashion Stuff with her friends and loved ones as her mannequins. She may not be able to sew worth a damn, but she’s got an eye for colour and line and she likes making use of her talents.

Strength: What is your character’s greatest virtue?

I think it’s somewhere between her empathy and her fortitude, and the only reason I have issues deciding between the two is because they’re pretty heavily intertwined. When she’s being supportive of others, it’s often at her own expense; when she’s standing up for herself, she’s still doing it in a way that doesn’t invalidate the views and stance of anyone else (at least those whose views and stance don’t really need invalidating via a blade to the tender bits, anyway).

Srina

Critical Hit: What is your character’s biggest weakness? Do they try to overcome it?

Srina’s big thing is self-reliance to the point of arrogance. She will never ask for the things she needs because she has convinced herself that if she has to ask for them, she doesn’t really need them. She doesn’t try to fix this because to a point, she’s right - she has her tricks and manoeuvres to get just about anything she needs ... including validation, respect, trust and even something resembling friendship. Also she will never, ever admit that she’s wrong - which hasn’t entirely been a problem as yet because the very, very few times she has been, it’s because the data was faulty, not because her analysis of it was incorrect.

Determination: Which emotions motivate your character to do what they do?

Pride. That’s it. That’s the post. ...No, seriously, Srina takes great pride in everything she has achieved, particularly given the handicap she had at the start of things. She knows how good she is, she intends to continue getting better for as long as possible, and she will never rest on her laurels. And okay, maybe some of that pride is to do with keeping this unbelievable bunch of goobers alive and functional because life would be way less interesting without them but she’s not saying that. Nope. Never.

Gathering: What is something material your character wishes they had more of?

...Honestly, nothing. What she wants, she either has or can get. Material things don’t hold a lot of interest for her unless they can get her the one thing she always wants above anything else - information.

Jallira

Mind: What does your character do to cope with a stressful situation?

That can be summed up in a single phrase: “I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me”. She trusts the Force, she trusts her team, and she trusts herself; everything else can be dealt with on the emotional level later, when there’s a spare moment in which to do so that won’t result in something going wrong. If it’s not an immediate combat or diplomatic situation, though ... either meditation or throwing herself into her work to the point of locking the lab door and not coming out until either someone makes her or she can’t even lean on the Force to keep going anymore (though she’s got better at that last and will sometimes come out even before she reaches collapse point for a hug and some dinner; that’s as much for Ami and Harridin as because Mae’s screaming at her through the Force-bond these days).

Control: What is your character’s view of fate/destiny?

...Complicated, as it’s always going to be for someone who is in tune with the Force, because there are so many theories about what the Force is and how it works that you’re never going to get a straight answer about that from any Jedi. Jallira’s theory goes that both theories - the Unifying Force and the Living Force - are true to an extent; that the Force is a living thing made up of lots and lots and lots and lots of other living things, and that each little tiny living thing has its own influence on the course of things in terms of the flow and ‘will’, for lack of a better term, of the Force. Basically, she’ll see how the various twists and turns of the galaxy inexorably led to, say, Ami’s birth, but she can also see that if the Force was tilted to even a single degree more or less in a certain direction, it would never have happened - more good in the world, maybe the Sacking wouldn’t have happened, or Garr wouldn’t have been such an asshole, or it would have been safe to send Harridin somewhere that wasn’t the Marran once he ratted out the individual responsible for selling the militia’s kolto on the black market... You get the picture. She believes in destiny but she also believes that destiny is always changing and that she can play a part in changing that destiny so she may as well just do the right thing as much as possible.

Spell Speed: Is your character magically proficient? If so, how do they cast it?

Again, that depends on who you ask, I suppose. I know the Force is basically Space Magic, though Jallira literally can’t see it that way because it’s so much a part of her essential self - it’d be like calling your eyes magic, for her. But going at it from external first principles ... a lot of it’s instinctual. I mean, she uses the Force to see and she’s an empath, and that latter means that half the time, it’s less about using it than it is about making sense of what’s already coming in, or extending an ability already in use. That’s for Sense and, to a point, for Control. Alter ... Alter’s got a few different branches to it. Force Telekinesis is really, really easy for her - she’s been training to use it offensively long before she should have been, and anyway, because of how she sees, she’s already got things around her sensed through the Force; all she has to do is focus and mentally shove. Force Healing is similar, if more draining; she knows how the body’s supposed to work because she can ‘see’ it working; she knows what’s wrong and she knows what to nudge to make a thing work the way it’s supposed to, or accelerate something it’s already doing (like closing a wound, for example). Same with Force Persuasion - she already knows what someone’s feeling if they’re anywhere near her, so nudging that into a shape more conducive to her needs is just the next step (even if she hardly ever does it because she thinks it’s invasive and gross). But then there’s the Flames, and that’s where it gets really weird with her, because unlike most of her former group, she doesn’t reach for righteous fury for the Flames. She only knows ‘righteous fury’ - or anger at all - from the emotions of others; she’s never been truly angry a day in her life. She draws on the hearth-flame of compassion instead; her focus isn’t on being against the evil that stands before her but on being for the people standing beside or behind her. It’s a lot easier to use the Flames in a collected, focused way when there’s not fury involved ... which may be why she found ways of using the Flames that no one else has, combining them with biotech to make ways to cure possession and taint without causing undue injury, or shield those who aren’t Force-sensitive from those things, or even for those who aren’t Force-sensitive to see the Dark Side. Basically, in that saying from that long-ago group about being either the sword or the shield? She’s a bit of sword, a lot of shield, and even more vibroscalpel.

[thessalian]

3, 7, 31, and C for Srina :D

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

Thinking. Always thinking. Well. Insofar as she sleeps much, and honestly, she kind of just goes, “Okay, thinking done, sleep now” and just ... sleeps. Unlike so many of my other characters (and, y’know, me), she doesn’t have that much in the way of conscience or anxiety to get in the way of the rest she needs.

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Srina has exactly one tradition, which is the only nostalgia she allows herself - a sweetberry float after she’s done a particularly good job, which was her first reward for a job well done when she was approximately Ami’s age and has been her personal reward for things ever since. She doesn’t really like the nostalgia element of it, honestly - while she did have affection for her father, she did also kill him rather than let him interfere with her life after she defected, so for a more emotional person, that’d be a struggle. She’s not overly emotional so it’s just a nuisance. She still has the float every time she does a really, really good job, though. It’s tradition.

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

Ironically, Mychae. Yes, Mychae significantly dented her career prospects by setting her up (which resulted in her Fixer getting killed by a disappointed Darth), but that set the stage for a defection that led her to a role where she actually gets a chance to shine, working with people who respect her, and who she actually legitimately respects in return. (Mostly.) Srina’s an expert at the long game, and she’s willing to gloss over the messy parts and focus on the favourable outcome that wouldn’t have been possible without the messy parts.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

Entirely the opposite, actually. Srina was a throwaway NPC, someone to throw at Tyron when he needed a scapegoat in his own personal plot where he screwed over both the Republic and the Empire over radio-controlled rakghouls or some shit. When I wanted to give Aurrin’s player something to do, I needed a solid antagonist to throw his way; someone that’d challenge him in ways suited to his character. The semi-disgraced Cipher was perfect. I just didn’t know how perfect until Aurrin suggested that defecting to the Marran would be better for her employment prospects and long-term survival than sticking around. I still don’t know who was more surprised when she said yes; Aurrin, Aurrin’s player, Srina herself, or me. Plus, honestly, I don’t really so much fit characters into their own stories as I do throw the core of them into the mix and let them build their story around themselves with what’s available, like making cotton candy. (Except that, to turn simile to metaphor, Srina is fibreglass wall insulation masquerading as cotton candy and will slice you up if you try eating it, but y’know.)

[thessalian]

Srina, Trapped

Nar Shaddaa, thirteen galactic standard years ago

Cipher Eight barely tilted her head away from the terminal she was industriously slicing at the sound of a small series of clicks coming from her comm unit. Anyone else would have taken it as a malfunction, but the Cipher kept her contingencies in order, and that particular pattern of clicks was code. Short and to the point, set to look like whoever delivered it was struggling with their own malfunctioning comm unit, it gave a set of coordinates, and a very brief outline of the situation: Trapped.

Cipher Eight - once Tyshal’reeleh’eartir, with the spectre of Telyt’srina’idash still far in her future - sighed and glanced over at a nearby screen, fingers still hard at work on the slicing job. She took a brief second to type in an extraneous command and pulled up the local holocam feed from the coordinates Fixer Twenty had sent her. Taking in the situation at a glance, she went back to her slicing, though working somewhat faster now, and more on auto-pilot as she went through contingencies.

She had several potential strategies for “What To Do When Your Fixer Gets His Idiot Self Trapped In A Blind Alley By Law Enforcement”. Of course, Fixer Twenty, known to his comrades as Spaz, had to make things more complicated than they needed to be. Twenty-six contingencies against law enforcement ... but only two might possibly succeed when a Jedi was involved. Given what they were on Nar Shaddaa to do, the last thing any of them needed was Jedi involvement. Cipher Eight’s plan not only had to free Fixer Twenty from his predicament, but it had to terminate a Jedi. Thankfully the Jedi was young, likely not too much of a combat veteran, but still.

As Cipher Eight finished up, she thought longingly of the simple, elegant option. Sealing the tunnel and causing a thermal vent malfunction would solve the problem with minimal secondary engagement. However, it would also melt Fixer Twenty long before it managed to finally kill the Jedi, even if the robed young man didn’t somehow manage to cut his way through several sealed blast doors before the heat turned his bones to slurry. While the loss of one Fixer was not seen as particularly important in the grand scheme of things, she had no desire to wait for a replacement before her next deployment. Besides, she’d just have to break in a whole new Fixer. That would be tiresome, and ultimately consume more resources than going to plan besh.

Pondering how much Fixer Twenty was going to owe her for this, Cipher Eight finished her mission and went to dig her backup out of trouble

Four minutes later, she was poised on a walkway well above the blind alley. The Jedi had Fixer Twenty cuffed now. To his credit, Spaz was trying to stall, and still playing the part of Badly Wronged Tech Support In The Wrong Place At The Wrong Time. It was as good a distraction as Cipher Eight was going to get. She pulled her rifle from its usual position, grateful and proud that she’d managed to make the adjustments she’d needed to while moving, barely took the time to aim (the longer she aimed, the more likely her attempt would be sensed) and fired at the Jedi’s head.

To his credit, the Jedi was good, sensing the shot coming and igniting his saber to deflect the shot. If it had been a blaster bolt, Cipher Eight might have had some issues.

However, all that changed when slug throwers were involved. The small chunk of duranium turned to red-hot shrapnel when it hit the saber, and a fair bit of it landed in the Jedi’s eyes. To the Jedi’s further credit, he didn’t scream; he flinched and clearly struggled to centre himself, but he didn’t scream.

That second’s worth of distraction was what allowed Cipher Eight to fire the second duranium slug through the remains of the Jedi’s right eye, taking him out for good. One of her earliest lessons had been something to the effect of, If you have to take on a Jedi, catch them on the back foot and keep them there. Cipher Eight was a very apt pupil in that regard.

A short ride on a grappling hook later, Cipher Eight stood before Spaz, the corpse of the Jedi lying between them. The Fixer was clearly awed by what he had just witnessed, but that at least hadn’t stopped him from disabling the cuffs with which he’d been bound. “Since when the kark did you start carrying a slug thrower?”

“Since that mission that involved my infiltrating Clan Ter’veyd,” she told him, secure in the knowledge that she’d washed the place clean of bugs not five minutes ago. “Unlike Sith, most Jedi don’t wear masks. A lesson they might profit from, though I’m hardly going to enlighten them.” Then she fixed him with her coldest glare. “In any case, be glad I did, and that I bothered to use it. You know Imperial protocol for captured agents. That was a waste of two duranium slugs and five minutes of my day.”

Fixer Twenty winced. “Yeaaaaaaah thanks for that. I ... dunno how you’re going to sell this in a report...?”

“You still had information I required and we’re due on Hoth in two days. The time lost here is made up for by the amount of time it would take for the storming-forming-norming nonsense required with a new Fixer. And off the record, there are exactly zero words for how much you owe me for this, Spaz. Now we should depart before someone comes looking for your playmate here.”

She started walking away, and barely paused as Fixer Twenty said, in a voice laced with surprised joy, “Hey! You called me Spaz!”

“At this moment,” she told him, voice as cold as the winds on the world they were about to visit for their next assignment, “it is literally the only name that fits. The only thing you ‘fix’ these days are banquets of trouble for the sampling. Now move.”

[thessalian]

Love meme: Srina - 18, 27 (heh), Jallira - 9, 24, Alisaie - 12, 4

Srina:

18) Does she have a ‘type’? Nnnnnnnnno. She’s been so many people with so many interests that anything like a ‘type’ gets lost in the shuffle. She’s perfectly happy to leave her thing with Aranar as a mystery to absolutely fucking everyone.

27) Whatever analog the GFFA has for Valentine’s Day is not spent on Port Knowhere. It’s usually a good time to reinforce her call girl alias. She’s very much a ‘that kark is just a made-up situation by various industries anyway and I’ll use it as is beneficial to me but it has no meaning’.

Jallira:

9) Favourite small way to show her love? Hot breakfast in bed and caff every single morning, timed perfectly to still be warm when Harridin’s starting to be ready to wake up.

24) How does she determine she’s attracted to someone? Well, it sure as hell isn’t physical appearance; that means absolutely squat to her. In all fairness, Jallira has only ever been attracted to one person in her entire life, and the ‘why’ of it is complicated. On the face of it, it was that he made her laugh, but it was more than that. He was kind and calm and had worked very hard to get a long way past his own tragedies. He was what she wanted to be, and what she wanted in her life, and because he’s a sentient being, that meant he was who she wanted in her life. No one else has ever even been on her radar, and I don’t think they ever could have been.

Alisaie:

12) What do I personally love most about Alisaie? ...part of me wants to say “how she takes zero bullshit”, but ... that’s not true. What I love about her is that she is loveable; that the characters and their players enjoy having her around. Yes, that encompasses her flaws and her merits all at once, but it means that I made a person - one who can stand with all of your well-developed and awesome characters. No character stands alone; their development and loveability depends on them interacting with others.

4) What ‘romantic gestures’ does Alisaie hate? ...Pet names. You’ll notice that beyond a couple of very specific and very hard-earned terms, she uses profanities as terms of endearment (for instance, always calling Darvin ‘asshat’). It’s a thing with the People; they don’t throw words around lightly, and likening someone to food items or infants is just rude.

[thessalian]

38, 65 (new spell?), and 70 for Alisaie; 71, 91, and 92 for Jallira; 7, 12, and 26 for Srina. :D

Alisaie

38. How does she relax? Any specific activities? Why?

See, therein lies the problem. Alisaie actually really likes to read. Thing is, she hasn’t really had the opportunity since leaving Al-Zorhai because she owned, like, four books (a couple of books of poetry, an largely non-fictional diary-esque thing from a wyvern-rider in Belarys, and a thing about the evolution of Equitas fashion) and those were left behind like just about everything else she owned when she went after the red dragon that she died killing. She hasn’t bothered to mention this, of course. And the last time they hit a bookstore, she was way more focused on gifting others. Remi might have caught her looking speculatively at some of the shelves but since she was also focused on gifts for others ... yeah, she doesn’t generally get to do her preferred relaxation activity anymore, which she generally likes because she likes looking at the world from a different perspective now and then.

65. If she could have one new superpower, what would it be?

I’m really looking forward to her getting access to Magnificent Mansion. She would build quite the palace for her friends. But then again ... if either of the bards should have Resurrection, it’s probably her. (Her choice would be either Resurrection or permanent wings, probably the former because she’s selfless like that but gods damn it, eleven minutes aren’t enough for her, flight-wise.)

70, What about her lifestyle would she change if she had the ability?

Nothing. Nada. I mean, yeah, she’d like a permanent home, a place to call hers, but she doesn’t know what it should look like yet any more than Remi does, and all she knows for sure is that she wants it to be with Remi, and since neither of them are going anywhere until the world is properly saved and looking set to stay that way for five minutes, she’s happy with her lifestyle as it is.

Jallira

71: What weapon does she go to for offense?

Force telekinesis. It’s the only thing she trained in for basically all of her time as youngling and padawan; it’s her default. She only took to Niman so well because of how it incorporates Force-TK.

91. What’s her posture like?

Well, it used to be kind of huddled up on herself - shoulders up around her ears, not slouched (that’s disrespectful) but trying to take up as little space as possible. These days she’s a lot more relaxed in her posture, though she still stands quite straight and it’s not like she’s ever going to take up a whole lot of room.

92. What trait does she admire most in others?

That’s a toss-up, and depends on the situation, but at root it’s probably the whole “being comfortable in one’s own skin” thing. She knows how hard that is to come by, how few people have it naturally and how hard they’ve had to work at it, so she very much admires those who can walk that path and come out the other side successful.

Srina

7. Does your OC collect anything?

The closest she comes to collecting anything is usable idents for if she or someone around her needs to be someone else at short notice. And she considers that more ‘tools of the trade’ than an actual collection. It’s like building model ships, but useful.

12. How well would she handle being placed in a leadership position?

Well, given how she pretty much pulled everything together for getting Jallira out of the facility on Utapar, I’d say she’d handle it pretty damn well. She’s got the authority, she knows what she’s doing, and she’s seen enough commanding officers on both sides of the line to have a pretty good idea what’s going to work.

26. How does she sleep?

Very still, more or less one eye open, more or less one hand on the blaster or knife (depending on circumstances and location) that lives under her pillow. She doesn’t often share with Aranar because he’s a snuggler and that would be an impediment to getting up quickly if she has to, but when she does she stays on her side of the bed and him migrating to her side gets him an elbow in the kidneys.

[thessalian]

1, 29, and 40 for Jallira, and 2, 20, and 38 for Srina. :D

For Jallira:

1. How does your character sleep? Peacefully, fitfully? What position do they sleep in? What is their typical bedding like?

How Jallira sleeps largely depends on how much ambient emotional noise is in the area. She’s not much of a tosser and turner, but she’s picked up enough typical sighted mechanisms that she’ll pull a pillow over her head if it’s too emotionally ‘loud’ while she’s trying to sleep, and curl herself into as small a ball as possible. It doesn’t help, but it’s a reflex now. On an average day, though, she sleeps peacefully enough, and tends to eschew a pillow because she prefers using Harridin’s chest for that purpose. (Also means she doesn’t steal covers because she’s curled up too close to do so.)

29. If your oc was in a video game, what would their idle animation be? (When the player stays still for too long, the animation that plays.)

...Jallira kind of is a video game character, but we’ll gloss over that. It’d be either a head-tilt like she’s listening, or a quick dig through her medical bag like she’s cataloguing and assessing the contents.

40. Are there any habits your oc has picked up from people around them? Do they know where they’re from? Does your oc try to stop themselves from doing it?

The only habits Jallira’s picked up from other people are ... well, generally actively encouraged by those around her. Regular meals, for a start. Honestly, because she doesn’t ‘see’ people, those little fidgets and things that most people pick up from those around them kind of pass her by. The most she does is mimicry of the sighted people around her, and that’s more or less deliberate.

For Srina:

2. Does your oc have dreams or nightmares? What are they like? Is there a recurring one?

I mean, everybody dreams; it’s all just about whether you remember them. Srina is probably one of the more lucid dreamers you’ll ever meet who isn’t a Force-sensitive. Her brain uses the down-time to go over scenarios in her head to figure out the best way of dealing with them. Srina’s brain is a very efficient place.

20. Does your oc have any pleasure that embarrasses them so they keep it secret? Or are they open about all the things they enjoy?

Srina doesn’t let anyone know she enjoys anything. It’s not about embarrassment, though; it’s just that that’s giving away way too much. Her pleasures, like everything else, are held loosely, ready to be discarded if such becomes necessary, and people knowing them would bind them to her tighter than she’d like. The closest she comes is the occasional micro-hint. But I think the only one that’s a total secret even to the empath of the party (because it doesn’t come up much given they live on a desert moon) is that she likes polar sunbathing. She won’t let anyone know that one because Aranar would insist on taking her to do some and he drools enough over her in her usual gear and doesn’t want to deal with his reaction to her in a two-piece.

38. What signs tell that your oc is nervous? Do they fidget, is it in their expression or the way they say things? Or are they very skilled at hiding it?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no. There are zero signs that Srina’s nervous because Srina is basically never actually nervous. Tense, yes, but in that predatory coiled-spring way. Having a minimum of three ways out of every situation, catalogued in order of the likelihood of blowing an ident and the size of the dry-cleaning bill, helps with that a lot.

[thessalian]

⏳

(Because you’re a TOR fan, I’ll go with one of my OCs from there.)

“…This is entirely Qiin’s fault, you know.

“Beg pardon; allow me to introduce myself. Well, the name I’m going by at the moment, at least. Telyt’srina’idash - Srina to this bunch of well-meaning little berks I seem to have collected. But again, this is entirely Qiin’s fault. I was, at one time, Cipher Eight. Yes, all right, it wasn’t ideal and I spent most of my time running damage control for warmongering Sith oiks. And let’s leave the speciesism to one side, shall we? At least Chiss have it somewhat better than most, but still, it’s the sort of thing that makes one truly appreciate the Ascendancy. In any case, I honestly didn’t entirely mean to defect. Let’s put it there right now. However, my position became untenable when Qiin decided that someone needed to be a scapegoat to prevent her krifftoy from facing the consequences of double-crossing the Empire. I was apparently that scapegoat.

“So obviously my position with Intelligence became very untenable and the Darth in charge of that particular operation killed my Fixer to prove a point. So I started taking on a few side jobs to gain a few favours with the Sith hierarchy. They were worse than the warmongering oiks, really. I’m quite sure that they gave me the worst ones to try to get me killed in a temperamental rage. Unfortunately for them, I’m a little too good for that.

“So one of them turns out to be the maternal uncle of some bastion of light and good on the Jedi side, and he’s got designs on his niece for various reasons to do with Sith alchemy; a little above my pay grade, you see. My task was to ensure that any inquiries into my employer’s identity were permanently stifled, and anyone found sniffing around the situation thoroughly interrogated for anything they knew. And of course it was Qiin - she’s been a thorn in the Empire’s side since the Sacking, honestly.

“I admit I underestimated her. I was expecting her krifftoy with the frost-stalker facial hair. But no, apparently she upgraded to someone who knew what they were doing and the next thing I know, this human cyborg turns up at my door with the flowers and bonbons favoured by my call girl alias (not the one I was in at the time, incidentally) and telling me he knew everything. And then offered me a job with the people I was stalking. Because I was ‘too good to end up with the backstabbing turning from metaphorical to literal’.

“So I burned a perfectly good ident, had to have soup poured all over me and hide in an industrial trash bin - not to mention transfer myself from moving industrial trash bin to moving speederbike - and joined this bunch of Light Side berks with the discipline of hyperactive womp rats. And what happened after that … well. I might actually unbend myself to have a drink before I start talking about that.

“I mean, I’m now apparently exclusively dating a Mandalorian. Honestly.”