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oh my goodness

Some one, please just ask me to draw something, i will literally draw. No, wait. I should.

{⚜ x @ofimaginarybeings x}

Continued from here

On the nights before a skirmish, the tension was always high, and the mood unsettled amongst the soldiers. Even Athos was no exception. Nobody knew who would still be here the next night, and who wouldn't return from battle. Friends and brothers sleeping next to you right now might not be anymore by tomorrow. It made one incredibly aware of the frailty of life, of pain and suffering, and of choices that led one to be here in this dirty ditch.

Choices.. Athos had made a few of those. Rarely had they been good ones. And being so aware of death looming over them, he regretted them now more than ever. His life was the story of a life wasted by making wrong decisions, being blinded by selfish pride, and then indulging in too much alcohol to forget about the ruins his life had become. It was a sad story, no doubt, but one that was his own fault.

Asking Porthos that question had been a means to get out of his own head; to stop thinking what could have been, would have been, had they not been sent to war. Listening to Porthos always gave him an odd sense of calm and inner peace. A peace he could never find on his own. Athos listened to his friend speak in silence, his words resonating with him more than Porthos would probably expect. It was obvious that he saw the Musketeers as home. A family. Most likely the only true family he had ever known, given his background. Which made Athos happy for his friend to have found his way into the regiment.

Whenever the question was returned, however, Athos remained silent for some time. Shrugging his shoulders, he then lifted his head and stared up into the sky. "If I wasn't a soldier.. I'd most likely be dead. No, I know I would have ended up dead in the streets of Paris. I was close enough to it whenever Treville found me. Had he not taken me in when he did, I would have drunk myself to death, no doubt." He paused for a moment, sighing softly. "All my life I was raised and expected to be something I am not. I was prepared to face a life in misery, because it was my duty. Then I found a piece of heaven I was allowed to call my own, and that made it bearable. But that life still never felt right." Shaking his head, Athos turned his gaze back to his friend. "when she murdered my brother, I finally renounced that life. Only to flee to Paris and spend my new found freedom licking my wounds like some animal. When Treville took me in.. When I became a soldier, and then a Musketeer, it felt as if I had finally found my life. My family. My home. If I wasn't a soldier.. I'd be truly nothing."