The sexual desires make things so much more complicated. I want to just push it all aside and focus on the actual romance and building of a relationship. I hate the sexual things I crave, it just gets in the way.Â
I don't know how to sift between all the feeling I get for people, My grasp of what is and isn't acceptable to say is poor, I don't pick up on hints unless they are fairly obvious.Â
the girls I love most live on the east coast. One has some anxiety issues that make our conversations very inconsistent. She is lovely and beautiful and I have very flushed feelings for her but I have no idea if or how much she can reciprocate and it really frustrates me and I wish I could just talk to her consistently.
Another is my Moirail and that friendship is solid and perfect and we will always be friends. And one day we shall meet and cuddle and do stupid stuff together and whatnot.Â
The third is a girl who has strong feelings for me, but I fear I'm slowly losing her as I continually say and do stupid things. I don't think I am good enough for her. I don't think I'm making a good impression. I really hope I don't lose her, because I know it would end up hurting her so much, and I care about her a lot and I want there to be able to be a relationship. But I suck at all this and again distance.Â
Theres another girl I've met, who I like, and who likes me. We'd probably be dating but well. There's complications. We have no idea whether anything will ever happen between us. Just continually hoping for a chance to meet up and hang out again. Another coincidence like back in march.Â
My love life is a mess. An absolute mess. Â Maybe I should just talk to the attractive nicely dressed young guy who rides the same bus home as I do.... There's also an attractive guy in California who's rather similar to me.Â
I am a jumble of feelings, I have no idea what I am doing, I have no idea what will happen in the next few years, I ask to those of you I drag into this please bear with me because I can be really just... not good.Â
I'm actually going to tag you all in this one.... this should be interesting.
