An open blog to the ones I loved, my pasts.
Everyone we meet has a purpose in our life. Some stays, and we should be thankful, while some leaves, we are still blessed. Life is a come and go, it all serves as a lesson.
I’m writing this blog to share how blessed I am to every “come and go” in my life. And to say how thankful I am to everyone.
To the ones I loved (it doesnt mean I dont love you or care about you anymore, its just that, love changes over time, and my love for you now is different than what i exerted before, you’re more of the person in my past.)
To Ayesha Abbas, my grade 6 bestfriend, my first heartbreak. I know its my fault why our friendship didn’t lasts. I didn’t showed to you how important you are to me, its more like one sided, and you care for me so much. Sorry for making you feel number two because I think Jean is my bestfriend and I care to her so much than noticing you. But why didn’t you gave me a chance to make you feel my number 1? Im there, Im almost there, I’m returning all the favors to you, because you’re my true bestfriend. Yes Its my fault, but why? Why didn’t you let me make you feel the importance you deserved. And why did you left me easily? You dont even said a last goodbye. You just left like you don’t have someone whom will be left alone. You just left like you don’t know me, like you don’t have me. Im expecting for you when freshmen day started, yet no Ayesha showed up. So all the memories on every angle of our school teared my heart. That’s why I transferred to another school, I tried to get out to all of our memories. I survived. You’re one that I’m thankful for. Because of you, I’ve learned to make friends with the same age. Because I’ve learned to be open to the age where I belong. I became friendly, you taught me how. You taught me many things. Like starting a new life. Thank you!
To Mj Alcoriza, past long-time crush, my 1st boyfriend (not in the record) Thanks for breaking up with me, while I’m on my way to giving my all to you.(not sex, no no.) Maybe you left me because I’m not the type of girl who will surrender everything easily. Sorry if I messed up the two months of your life, I just don’t know how to be a girlfriend to you. And sorry for not giving our story a second chance when you’re asking me to. And most of all, sorry for playing with you when you are there showing all the love you have for me, I’m just hurt when you left me first so I grab the oppurtunity to give the pain back to you when you are asking for a chance. Thank you for entering my life. You gave me inspiration each day. You gave me butterflies with every “hi”. And thank you, because of you, I just proved to myself that I am worth the respect of every guy. I survived the temptation that you have. I proved to myself that I am strong enough to give myself a respect by avoiding all the temptations. Im proud that I can control myself, I don’t even know. And lastly, thank you for letting me stop believing in fairytales. And just let God guide my love destiny.
To Prince Casuncad, my bestfriend, my real first boyfriend. Hey bossfriend! first of all, I’m sorry for breaking your heart so bad. Sorry for breaking you. Sorry for giving up easily. Sorry for not fighting for us. Sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. We didn’t reach our plans, I left you hanging. Sorry. Im thankful that for once in my life I had someone like you. We are almost perfect, but I ruined everything. You are a right guy, but I guess, not right for me, or we didn’t have the right time. Thank you boss for giving me love more than what I wished. For treating me like a princess, your everything. Thank you for making me feel more than special. Thank you for handling me great. Thank you so much! You taught me how to trust guys by being a trusted one, you made me realized that not all of the guys are the same, a jerk. You changed me a lot, my whole personality. Thank you for that, now I gain a lot more respect for myself. Thank you for being the all in one person in my life. I’ve wasted you, but thank you, i learned a lot.
To Allaysa Lestor, my closest friend. I love you. But things changed the day you said those damn words. The day you chose to let your anger stand out than saving our friendship. The day you cursed me with your heartbreaking words. I am deeply hurt by the word you’ve said. Like wow, you didn’t even think of our friendship, of all that we have. I laughed reading all the words you’ve said, but I cant and never hide the pain that I felt. You are the closest friend that i have, we even are like bestfriends, but I cant label you that. You are really special for me, one of my favorite. We have this connection close like a sister. But why? I know we are okay now, but we cant simply go back to the way we used to be. Why did you said those words like you don’t even know me at all? I forgive you but sorry. Thanks, you taught me to sort the right friends, the true one, I guess your not. Im sorting you out. But hey, i love you still, my friend.
To Nathanielle Aranez, my long-time suitor. I know I’ve hurt you. Sorry for letting you wait for nothing. Sorry for the heartbreak I’ve caused to you. Sorry tan. But is it my fault? I cant blame you, I wont. You made me feel loved and special. I salute how tough you are. I admire the patience and understanding that you have. But I guess, you really are tired. Sorry for being so hard to get, sorry for not giving you a chance. Sorry. I’ve explained everything to you. I appreciated all what you did for me. You know that I have feelings for you, but I need to be strong, I need to control my feelings, because I don’t want to waste a guy like you, I’m striving for the right time, because I believed that you’re the right guy. I don’t want to rush that’s why. Thank you for moving on now. Im happy that you’re happy with your new one, I hope you both lasts. Thanks because of you I gain more self respect for myself, by not falling deeply to the actions and words you’ve showed me. I realized that you are not the one, thanks for that. Thanks for everything.
To nuts, my highschool friendship. Hey guys, you’re still my friends, i love you still! I just want to say sorry for ignoring you guys. I just don’t know how will I talk to each one of you, because it feels different now. I don’t want to play fake in front of you, so i prefer to stay quiet and don’t give a fck. I miss you guys. Thanks for the happy memories.
To Munchkin Cortez, my classroom bestfriend. We’re not talking since I’ve posted all the pain that I kept to myself. I just cant hold it anymore. But its for all of you (bigkrushers) but why you are the only one who’s too affected? Are you feeling guilty or you just don’t give a d*mn that’s why you’re not talking to me anymore? I guess the journey of the classroom-bestfriend thing ends. Sorry if I offended or hurt you by the words I’ve said. I just want to be real to all of you. And because I’m tired to all the dramas you all have. I am hurt knowing that my close friend is talking behind my back. Why is that? I became neutral, I didn’t choose any side. But why? why? Anyway, I hope you to be happy, you look happy indeed, and I hope your happiness will continue even without us. I still care for you my friend, but I guess it all ends. Thank you for everything. I know who are my real friends now.
To Trina Louise Leynes, my buddy, vp and my favorite. Hi trining, i’ll post a seperate blog for you.
Thanks to each one of you. I’ve learned a lot. You’ll always be part of my life, in the past.